The first priority....just one thing!

  We all have priorities rather we acknowledge it or not.  In our heads we have to decide what we're going to do first in our day, where our time and money will go first, who will get our attention first....and that list could go on and on! 
  In Matthew 6 the Lord is preaching and He talks about those things that want our attention first.  I guess we could also say that they are what our "old man" or our flesh desires to put first, so He gives us a warning and a command.

  He talks about "treasures" and tell us not to become consumed with the earthly treasures that want our attention and love first.  That word "treasures" He used is talking about a storehouse or a place that we keep the things that matter most to us.  It is talking about the literal treasures we might lay up or the treasures that we store up in our heart and soul.   We are told that wherever our treasures are we will find our heart.  Things consume our time and our attention.  As a wife and mother we should always remember that our things are to be there to serve us and not the other way around!  A good way to test where your treasure is would be to pay attention to what uses up your time and your money.  If we really want something bad enough we'll find the time and the money for it.  It's good to review on a regular basis and see if something is consuming us! 
   Another good checkpoint that I use is to ask myself if I am neglecting any God-given duties. If I am then I know that I have something in my life I am "treasuring" more than Him.  If I can't find time to spend time with the Lord then I have another god in my life that is consuming the time that should be His.  It's time to see what "other love" has kept me from the Lord. If I can't seem to find time to care for the needs of my husband and children then I need to see what is more important to me than those I'm given to care for by the word of God.  Why can't I find time to cook their meals, wash their clothes, teach and train them like I should?  If I don't have any time for that I need to be removing another earthly treasure from my life. 
  I read a  and I find in books  and articles on taking care of yourself physically they always are death on the excuse "I can't find time."  They give statistics on how much time is spent in front of the tv or the computer and they explain that you do have the time, you're just not using it for the right thing!
  It is true that if we truly love something we don't find time we make time!
   In verses 22 and 23 the Lord talks about the single eye versus the evil eye.  The best definition I ever read for the word single was "to look away from all else".  That is the way to get your priorities in order.  We have to look away from all else but the Lord Jesus Christ.
(Hebrews 12:2)  As much as I desire to keep first things first it won't happen without the indwelling Holy Spirit.  He's the One that gave me the desire in the first place and He's the One that enables me to keep my priorities in an order that glorifies and magnifies Him.  "For  it is God  which worketh in you both  to will and to do  of his good pleasure." (Phil. 2:13)
  There are so many things that are wanting my attention and begging me to look at them instead of what the Word of God (Christ) says.  If for even a short time I turn my head and begin to give them my attention things will fall apart in the spiritual world for me. 
  The evil eye is defined as "being full of labours, annoyances, hardships, being harrassed by annoyances and hardships, perils to my Christian faith and stedfastness."  That is exactly the opposite of the single eye where we are steadfastly looking to Christ for the truth and the ability to live the truth.  It goes right along with the different hearts the Lord talks about and what is used by Satan to destroy them.  It is so important to keep what He says as most important and to not listen to all the questions and doubt that our flesh and Satan hurls at us. 
  You know the questions, "What about....?" and "What if....?"   Sometimes he uses people we don't know and sometimes he uses very real people that we love to make us question what we know the word of God teaches us. 
    If you want a real good thumping just listen to the media.  All the Lord teaches us is questioned, critiqued and mocked.  After you've spent any amount of time watching tv, reading the news, reading their books and their self-help material you can really question the Lord and lose your stedfast faith!
  He ends the discussion of the single eye and the evil eye with the warning that we cannot have two masters.  One will always have our loyalty over the other.  If He is not our Master and doesn't have our loyalty then "mammon" has our love and loyalty.  And we're told in I John 2:15-17 that if we're friends with the world we're not friends with Him and His love is not in us.
  The last point the Lord makes before telling us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness is telling us not to make food, drink and clothing a matter of focus in our lives.  He tells us that He can take care of all that and when we focus on fretting over where it is going to come from then we're not making Him first in our lives. 
  He says the Gentiles seek these things and as His children we're not to do that.  The word seek there means to "crave, demand, clamor for, seek diligently for, enquire for".  Sounds like it was important, doesn't it?
   Then we have the verse that our first priority is in.  Matthew 6:33, "But  seek ye first the kingdom  of God , and his  righteousness ; and all these things  shall be added unto you ."
 This verse promises us that if we keep first things first then He'll take care of all that the flesh, the world and Satan would have us fret about. 
  I can be the queen of fretters.  Worry seems to be second nature to me.  But the Lord has faithfully taught me in the last few years that if I'll keep my walk and fellowship where it ought to be with Him I won't have to even fret about fretting!  Walking with Him makes the life He offers to live in me, through me and for me so simple.
  It's hard to believe it's as simple as having a daily time with the Lord to keep your priorities where they ought to be, but it works.  I'm not talking about just grabbing your Bible, your Bible reading chart and your prayer journal and rushing through it so the conscience is soothed.  I've done that many a time! 
   I'm talking about recognizing that you're in His presence and talking to Him like you would the best friend you have on earth.  Reading the Bible and asking Him to impress on you what you need today.  The word seek in Matthew 6:33 has a different meaning then the one in verse 32.  It means "to seek for, to seek (in order to find out) by thinking, meditating, and reasoning; to strive after, to inquire into". 
  I've not found one thing that I had a question about that when I turned to the Lord and seriously asked Him about that He didn't give me the answer and I never questioned it again.  That was true of my role as a woman, my place and purpose in life, my full surrender, my dress, my lifestyle as a Christian and I could name more that I've brought to Him.  The will has to be yielded though, you have to say, "Thy will be done." and then do it when He answers. It's always brought me joy--not a feeling of being deprived. 
   During my "wilderness years" when I struggled with depression I read my Bible but my prayer life suffered terribly.  Over and over I asked Him to please show me the path out of my darkness and confusion.  (This is a story in itself that I won't try to tell here.)  It wasn't like a single lightbulb moment but the only verse He ever gave me that I knew was concerning my illness was "He sent his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions." (Psalms 107:20) 
  I began to realize that when my husband took his pastorate that I went from being a Mary who set faithfully at the feet of the Lord each day soaking in all He had for me into being a Martha--busy serving tables and meeting the needs of others but neglecting my sweet fellowship that I'd once had because I was just too busy!
  Did I read my Bible and pray?  Yes, but it wasn't what I'd had with Him before and as I gave and gave and never took from Him as I should all the joy was drained from me.
  I know now that I had to go back to where I left my first love (and we don't lose it we leave it) and once again sit with Him and find sweet fellowship in our relationship.  I now have on the first page of my prayer journal "But  one thing is  needful: and Mary hath chosen that good  part, which shall not be taken away  from  her."   (Luke 10:42)  I have it there to remind myself that if I'll keep that one thing  -the first thing in its proper place then I'll be just fine no matter what comes my way. 
  What about you?  Does the word "overwhelmed" fit your life?  Does there seem to be so many tasks and responsibilities that you don't know where to start?  Are you questioning that maybe, just maybe you need to adapt to today's culture and fit in and then possibly things will go better?  Does it seem that more money would solve your problems?  Maybe you're tempted to think that life would be better if you could get out of your marriage?  Maybe you should give the children away to someone else to teach and train you're so overwhelmed with the task?  Are you feeling weary of not looking the way the world dictates you should look?  Are you embarassed of being different in what you have, where you go, what you wear?  Are you to the point you'd rather fit in with the world than be classified with the Christians of today?   Are you envious of what "they" have that you seem to be doing without?
  When I was in my early Mary years I was totally unaware that I didn't fit in I was so full of joy in my relationship with the Lord.  People would often comment on the sweet spirit in our home or the peace and there were four little bodies running around the house and we were living on an income that didn't begin to pay our bills! 
  Now He has me there again.  And it all came from keeping that first priority in order, from making that one thing have its proper place in my life.  If you're overwhelmed I beg of you to make the time in your day to sit at His feet and commune with Him in the Word of God and prayer.  Don't fret about rather you're doing it all right--just do it.  Find a closet (like I had to do during my children's naptime when they were all toddler) or a place on your porch or even the kitchen table but find a time and a place and get that first priority in its place.  The Lord will work the miracle in the rest of your life for you then!

 
  
 

  

What Is Your Occupation?

  As a young mother I had my times when I had to sit before a receptionist at the hospital with a sick baby on my lap and answer questions before they treated him.  In the early years I remember them saying, "Do you work?" 
  "Well, yes at least 16 hours per day and sometimes more--like tonight." 
   I would get two responses usually, the head would go down with a slight smile of amusement or the cold glare of "come one now, let's answer this the way you should" and then it would be rephrased, "I mean, do you have a job?"

  "Yes, I'm a full time homemaker."
   That was carefully worded so they couldn't say, "Then you don't work."  That point had been established in the first question.
   Now the question is, "Do you work outside the home?"  Much better put.  But they still don't use the answer that I wish they would use--"What is your occupation?"

  That would be in interesting question to use if for one day people had to be completely honest.  It really got me to asking myself that question.  I would answer "I'm a keeper at home, or I'm a homemaker." but then I have to think about if I'm am truly occupying myself during the working day as a homemaker or keeper at home.
   I first looked up the words "occupation" and "vocation" in the word of God and found their definitions.  I also looked up the word where Paul told us to "occupy till he came".  I think the context there is "keep on doing what you're supposed to be doing faithfully till the Lord returns." 
   In Genesis 46 and 47 the occupation of Joseph's family was being discussed. Joseph had instructions for them on how to answer Pharoah in what their "occupation" was.  That word meant:
1. deed, work

    a) deed, thing done, act

    b) work, labour

    c) business, pursuit

    d) undertaking, enterprise

    e) achievement

    f) deeds, works (of deliverance and judgment)

    g) work, thing made

    h) work (of God)

   i) product

  You can see there that this was a work, business that had something made out of it or a product. It was a deed with a purpose. 

   When Jonah was asked what his occupation was the definition was slightly different.  His was a question involving more of a product itself or who had commissioned the work to him.  They were more interested with why he was one their boat and what he was headed to do that might be bringing on them what they were experiencing the terrors they were going through.

  

1) occupation, work, business

   a) occupation, business

   b ) property

   c) work (something done or made)

   d) workmanship

   e) service, use

   f) public business

   1) political

   2) religious

  Aquilla and Priscilla were involved in a certain trade.  When Paul lived with them he was able to earn some money because they were of the same trade or occupation.  That was the trade of the tentmaker.  That word occupation simply means "of the plastic art, or trade".  (Acts 18:3)

   Later, in Acts 19:25 men are having losses to their occupation because of people becoming Christians.  That word simply means "such as this".  It could be used by gamblers, people who sell Satanic items, liquor dealers, etc.  People who would be in an occupation "such as this" would take a loss if we had revival.  This happened to be silversmith who was losing business in making false gods.

   Now that takes me back to my occupation, or may I say in a broader sense what should the occupation of a godly woman be.  Webster's1828  dictionary lists occupation as "That which engages the time and attention; employment; business." or "The principal business of one's life; vocation;  calling; trade; the business which a man follows to procure a living or obtain wealth."

   This causes me to think about what occupies my time and attention and what is the product I desire to produce at the end of my life, what is the calling I have from God to spend the time He's given me?  They are sobering questions. 

  "What a terrible thing to have to answer, (If we had to tell the complete truth to the Lord.) "The thing that consumes most of my time is books, the tv, the internet, games, shuttling my kids to the babysitters so we can make money and have everything our neighbors have, working for another master who has a different goal for me than You have." 

  This thought is for me the "keeper at home" just as much as the "working mother" or the "aged woman".  Am I carrying out the occupation and vocation that God wants me doing that I will produce the product He wants to see at the end of my life?

   Proverbs 31:10-31 is the role model the Lord gave me for how He wants me to "occupy my time".  It's beena 37 year pursuit for me and I still have much to develop.  

   Let's look at what consumed my role model's time.

   *She spent time making sure her husband didn't need being spoiled (shamed) by what she did with her time.  I can think of a man walking into a home that has obviously been neglected-it spoils him and shames him.  I can think of a man finding out his wife has used up too much money out of the checkbook.  It spoils him.  He wants everyone to think good of him because of how his wife cares for his home, his money, his clothes, his children and him!  (The word spoil means to plunder or to make money by dubious means.)  He is the breadwinner but he wants (and needs) our assistance in seeing that what he's worked hard for isn't spoiled by us.

    *She spent time gathering supplies in to make things with her hands.  It said she went afar to get just the right merchandise to run their home smoothly. 

   *Every day of her life she did good to her husband and not evil.  (That takes time and a controlled tongue.)

   *She gets up before the sun to feed her household and her maiden.

   *She takes time to go find and purchase a field that she intends to plant a vineyard in.

   *She spent time keeping her physical body strong.

   *She has merchandise she's making to sell and that requires working after the sun goes down.  Today we call that a cottage industry.  There is nothing wrong with it but do you see where it is in her day.  Everyone else is down and she's staying up to work on it.

   *Nor only is she making merchandise to sell, she is covering the needy and she has her own household clothed with scarlet and herself with tapestry.  (This is fine clothing that had hours of needlework involved)

   *Her work obviously helps to make her husband be a man of reknown. 

   *She takes her fine linen that she's made and sells it and delivers it to the merchants.  (No, she didn't set up shop with the merchants.)

   *Because she opened her mouth with wisdom we know she had to have an active relationship with the Lord.  That takes time, it doesn't just happend.

   *She doesn't sit around eating the bread of idleness--this is a busy woman!

  * Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and then God praise her-  I CALL THAT A PRODUCT WORTH SPENDING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE IN!

   Another lady whose priorities and time management has always captured my interest is "the widow indeed".  I hope I never have to turn to the church to take care of me, but I see here that this woman had lived a life that was so pleasing to God that He commands she's cared for.  What had she spent her time on?

   *She had one husband.  (Being a godly, biblical wife involves time seeking God's commandments for you and it takes time to live them.)

   *The widow indeed spends time in prayers and supplications day and night. (it says she's trusting in the Lord alone--that requires a lot of prayer)

   *It says she was well reported of for her good works.  That got my curiosity up- what did good works mean? 

1) business, employment, that which any one is occupied

a) that which one undertakes to do, enterprise, undertaking

2) any product whatever, any thing accomplished by hand, art, industry, or mind

3) an act, deed, thing done: the idea of working is emphasised in opp. to that which is less than work

  

     Here we are again with the things that we spend our time on and let ourselves become occupied with that produces the right product.  It also is called "work".
   *She was to have brought up children.
   *She was to have lodged strangers in her home.
   *She was to have washed the saints feet.
   *Relieved the afflicted.
   Sounds like a busy woman doing the right thing before God.

   The Titus 2 woman is my last role model that I seriously look to as a pattern God has given me for how He wants me to occupy my time.
   *I am to be discreet
   *I am to be chaste
   *I am to be a keeper at home (That little word 'at' has a position involved with it.  Some position words would be under, over, in, above, beside, by, etc.) You can't be "at Walmart" and be "at home" at the same time. You can't be "at work" and "at home" at the same time.  The word keeper involves the care of the home and the watchman of the home.  If we properly prioritize our days we can make our WalMart trips, our phone calls, our time on the internet, but we must never, never let them keep us from being the keeper at our home.  If we don't keep it someone else will.  Be on your guard!
   * I am to be good.  That word means to be useful, to be pleasant, to be agreeable, joyful and happy.
    If I'm fighting God's design for my life but yet I decide I have to or get in trouble with God and I grit my teeth and do it, I have skipped this one.  When we yield to the Designer and decide to live life the way He planned it to work best for us, we find great joy and happiness.
   *We ar to be obedient to our own husbands.  That word obedient means:
  

1) to arrange under, to subordinate

2) to subject, put in subjection

3) to subject one's self, obey

4) to submit to one's control

5) to yield to one's admonition or advice

6) to obey, be subject

   He is to be the one who is in charge, and I'm the subordinate.  I am to be subject to his wishes, I am to subject myself to his control, yield to his admonition and advice and obey and be subject to his wishes. 

   I have found that whenever I agree with God and embrace what He has commanded me to do He gives me wings and I find great freedom and joy in it.  Tr

 Try it--it's much better than being an angry woman with a sign getting your picture in the paper!

 When we refuse to take the occupation that God has given us as women in the Bible we are told in Titus 2:5 that the Word of God is blasphemed.  That is a serious thing.  It makes people take the word of God lightly because they see professing Christians taking their "occupation" lightly.  In Titus 2 He directs that at young women who will not take on their God-given occupation and are trying to get the fruit and blessings of a godly woman (I want my children to go to heaven!  I don't want my children to get involved in sin.  I want my marriage to last.) without carrying out the commands to women.

   The word "blasphemed" means :

1) to speak reproachfully, rail at, revile, calumniate, blaspheme

2) to be evil spoken of, reviled, railed at

  We're there.  So many people have no use for God's word.  They are confused at all the multiple messages coming from professed Christians.  But God is not confused and He's never wrong.  We have a map to follow and it is His word.

  He has much, much more to say to young and older woman but today I want to impress on you how you spend you time.  What your real occupation is.

  I tell the story of when I first learned to do heirloom sewing.  I loved it!  I was consumed with it.  I couldn't wait to get breakfast done so I could pull out my work for the day.  I got irritable with the kids while they were doing school because I wanted them to get done so I could do what I wanted to do.  I dreaded cooking supper, or doing laundry--anything that kept me from what I wanted to do--heirloom sewing. 

  One day, (after another frustrating day at home for everyone) it was just like the Lord said, "You're no longer a keeper at home, a home maker, you're an heirloom seamstress now."  Oh, my how that convicted, but I knew it was true.  That's why my duties as a keeper at home had become frustrating.  I realized I had become an heirloom seamstress that did homemaking on the side and I had to go back to being a homemaker that did heirloom sewing on the side.  When I obeyed the Lord our home became the sweet haven it had always been before that.

  What occupies your time?  What fruit is watching the tv going to give you in eternity?  What fruit is reading novels (and I'm not against either in their proper priority) going to give you in eternity?  But what about a very happy huband who praises you in the gates, or children who rise up and call you blessed?  Pour your heart and life into the occupation that God has given we women!  I'm old enough now that I see much fruit from my labor.  Prov. 31:30,31 says "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands: and let her own works praise her in the gates."  Make that your goal!  Let that pull you through the days you think you can't keep doing it.

   On my headstone when I die I have instructed my children to put, "I HAVE NO GREATER JOY THAN TO HEAR THAT MY CHILDREN WALK IN TRUTH.'  III JOHN 4

  I hope that is able to sum up the occupation of my life and the product I desired to see.  That the children (physical and spiritual) that the Lord allowed Gary and I to raise for Him are all walking in truth.  That's worth it all!

******************

  Today you will influence someone---that's another word for leadership.  How are you going to influence them?  I ask the Lord daily to bring good influences into my children's lives and to protect them from evil influences.  Today-why don't we each make a choice to influence someone that there is joy and freedom in carrying out our lives as women by God's authority and God's design.  You never know who you may influence--it might be your own son or daughter, it might be the neighbor, it might be your mate.  But let's each one be an influence to do what is pleasing before the Lord!

Love,

Mom

  

Laundry Day!

  I remember my mother talking about Monday being her mother's laundry day, rain or shine!  She said her mother always cooked a pot of beans on Monday. (We were from the North and she made Northern beans!:) If it was sunny the laundry was hung outside, and if it was rainy she said their clothes were hung on the line that criss-crossed their small kitchen!  She said it was one of the sweetest memories of her childhood--something that they knew was going to be the same each week.    I remember the copper boiler in my grandparents garage that laundry was heated in.  We certainly have progressed when it comes to laundry!

  Their was a little quote that you sometimes see embroidered onto tea towels:
   Wash on Monday,
   Iron on Tuesday,
   Mend on Wednesday,
   Churn on Thursday, (some say Market on Thursday)
   Clean on Friday,
   Bake on Saturday,
   Worship on Sunday...
*Want to embroider some little tea towels to show this?  Go to http://tipnut.com/household-chores-towels/ and you'll find some beautiful ones.  Just download them in a file and save them for printing when you're ready to embroider!

  I believe in and love a life of order and so I like following the footsteps of homemakers before me.  My life is reasonably close to the little ditty above.  I do a large amount of our laundry on Monday.  I like to get as much done that day beginning with the towels used by everyone on Saturday. 
  Since our financial belt has been tightened in the last year I am making our own laundry soap.  I have found that whenever a change is required in my life if I embrace it I fall in love with it!  The other day I went by my laundry room and it brought back a sweet memory.  The smell of my laundry room was just like the smell of a laundrymat when I was a girl.  I would go there with my Grandma Nelle if she had a really large load and I loved the clean smell there.  Grandma said it was the Oxydol detergent.  Well, that's what my laundry soap smells like when the clothes are drying.  Other people might hate it but the Lord has given me a love for it!  You can wash 64 loads of clothing with one batch and it costs about .01 cents per load! 
  So, here's the recipe:
1/3 bar Fels Naptha or other type of soap (bars of soap like Zote or Ivory found in the laundry aisle of our Krogers)
1/2 cup washing soda (NOT baking soda)  This is also at our Krogers and it is Arm and Hammer but it's in a large box and is a white powder.  It will be on the laundry aisle, usually near your oxygen cleaners or other soaking powders.  This is a degreaser and removes dirt and other odors.  (I also use it on our bathtub drains when they get slow and it does a wonderful job!)
1/2 cup Borax (also found on the laundry aisle and it is a powder)  Our Kroger sells the 20 Multe Team box.  Borax us a whitener and a deodorizer. (It also will kill roaches!)

Here's what to do:
Grate the bar soap.  Make sure you grate it really fine.  Put it in a sauce pan and add 6 cups of water.  Heat it till the soap melts.  Then add the washing soda and the borax and stir it till it is dissolved.  Remove from heat.
Now pour 4 cups of water into a large bucket or a large pot.  Add your soap mixture to the bucket and stir.  Now add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir.  Let the soap sit for 24 hours.  It will become a soupy gel.  Pour into containers.  (I use ice cream buckets.) 
  Someone said that you shouldn't use your old detergent containers because you need to stir it before using and they will spill over and make a mess.  I just stir mine at the beginning of the day and then measure it out. 
  This soap is not meant to make a lot of suds but it will clean! 
  Use 1/2 cup per load of laundry.  Enjoy the savings!!

    I have always enjoyed hanging clothes on the line and for Mother's Day my children bought me a clothesline for our back yard.  Our sheets always hang on the line because I love the smell of a bed that is made up of line-dried sheets.  Even Martha Stewart encourages using a clothesline!  I have always said that hanging out clothes and kneading bread are as good as a visit to a therapist for me.  They both are very calming.

  Tuesday is my baking day.  I make three loaves of bread almost every week and we share some and eat the rest!  I love baking and I thoroughly enjoy baking the bread and baking goodies for my family  and friends.  I love being outside with the kids and stepping into the house right after the bread has baked....what a wonderful welcoming aroma!

   Wednesday is my ironing day.  I focus almost entirely on the basic chores on Wednesday so we have a stress free preparation for church.  Since we're getting everyone's clothing ready for church it's a good time to press two or three shirts for other days.

   Thursday is my sewing day.  I sew on other days too but it seems I sew clear through to the evening on Thursday.  Many times I'll use the evenings to do my fun handsewing.  I love smocking and I love shadow embroidery so Thursday evening I treat myself after sewing on the "have to" projects!  Right now I'm sewing five little nurse's costumes for my cousin's grandhchildren.  I hope they enjoy them as much as I've enjoyed sewing them.  I've also been sewing several teddy bears lately.  That's fun, too because it seems no two turn out the same.

   Friday is my "beginning to clean" day.  I used to do all my cleaning on Saturday.  My husband would fuss at me because I also cooked Sunday dinner, did all the handwork for my Sunday School lesson and other pastor's wife projects on Saturday.  I kept telling him that I didn't have time on the week days to do my heavy cleaning.  Then I realized I was really being obstinate and decided to pick one major cleaning project for Friday.  I have since learned that I can actually get two and sometimes three projects done on Friday and we now do our (the kids do their rooms) vacuuming on Thursday!  I save dusting and cleaning bathrooms for Saturday so they are polished and pretty on Sunday.  Works like a dream!
  Saturday is my "get ready for Sunday" day.  I like a big Sunday dinner but I cook it on Saturday.  Everything is oven ready when we walk out the door and all I have to do is heat vegetables and dinner is ready.  At the end of the week I like looking at my chore chart that I made on Monday with each thing crossed off!  It is a very satisfying feeling.

  How I love, love, love being what God designed me to be.  Woman, wife, mother, keeper at home, laundress, cook, teacher, seamstress, and the spirit of my home.   When we yield ourselves to God's authority and God's design a great peace and satisfaction dwells within us.  It spreads to our family too! 
  Whenever I read Proverbs 31 I am painfully aware that after over 37 years of using her as my role model I still need improvement!  Early in my married years I decided that she would be my guide and I would do my very best to become skilled at each area the Lord held her up like a beautiful ruby gem to be admired.  It's been a wonderful adventure and if I died today I am a deepy fulfilled woman. 
  It is my prayer that each woman reading this will kneel before the Lord and ask Him to teach them their biblical role and to give them great joy in it.  That is what I pray over the women on my prayer list because I desire them to find the joy the Lord has given me.  May God grant each reader that joy!

Love,

Mom
  

Hit the Reset Button!

   Today is the Lord's Day, the first day of my week!  It has been a day that has cooled some because of the rain and this afternoon my precious husband and I sat and enjoyed a cup of coffee on the front porch and talked and listened to the steady patter of rain on the oak leaves.  So comforting.
   Each Monday I sit with my notebook and plan my week.  I give each day to the Lord in the mornings, but I am a firm believer in the old adage "Fail to plan-plan to fail."  I have found that even with fun things like reading to the children, taking a walk, playing a game together if I don't give it a specific time in the week it just won't get done!



   Tonight I sit and look at last week's plan.  At the top I have my list of my "streaks".  I got this wonderful idea from Sparkpeople.com.  You set a goal that you would like to have as a habit and then see how many days you can go without missing!  So I have there:
* 8 glasses of water  (then I put abbreviations for each day so I can circle them as I accomplish them)
*1200-1500 calories daily
*5 fruits/vegetables
*Walk-5 days/week
*Strength Train-5 to 6 days/week
  You could even include spiritual goals like memorize scripture, read Bible daily, go through prayer list daily, etc.  The idea is to get a good thing going and you won't want to miss!  It works for me.
  I look at last week's list and I thought it was workable when I made it.  However, I didn't plan on several "unplanned" events. (A doctor's visit I didn't plan on having in Nashville and then a sick day!)  In the past that would have thrown me for a loop and I would have stewed and fretted and been completely overwhelmed. 
  I also worked very hard at keeping up my month long staying on my diet and doing my strength training and cardio workout 5 times per week.  Much to my surprise after losing weight for about two weeks (and I know how to hang on to the fat!) I had gained 2.3 pounds this morning.  In the past I would have beat myself up and then out of frustration and anger had me a little binge party tonight.
  However, because I've gone through several experiences with depression I have learned that those responses only make me "feel" worse about the whole situation after the fact.  So what's the answer?
  Well, I call it hitting the reset button!  I love Lamentations 3:22 and 23.  "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
  If the Lord gives me a new chance every morning then I can do the same thing when I look at my very human failures.  Just hit the reset button and go after the goal again and again and again until I meet it!
  Every week of my life I look back and say, "I wish I had spent more time with the kids, I wish I had been more gentle in my reaction, I wish I had got more windows cleaned, I wish I had spent more time with the Lord, and the list could go on and on and on...."  If I focus on what I didn't get done I lose sight of what needs done for the Lord today! 
  It truly makes a difference when you get on the scale and see the number go up when you thought it would go down to become introspective and angry and decide who cares anyway? (at least for an hour or two)  However, it has changed everything for me to say "Well, how about that?  Maybe all that strength training is making muscle and it weighs more than fat!  Maybe I should add a few more minutes to my cardio, shuffle when I eat my snacks and see if I need to try some different foods to shake up my metabolism!"  Then I feel hopeful instead of condemned!
  It also made a difference when I looked at my list on Thursday morning (Tuesday and Wednesday being shot.) and said to myself, "Ok, let's put these down by priority.  What has to be done or we're not going to function as a family?" 
  I had planned on reading a large portion of a book to the kids and I did that as we drove home from Nashville.  I had planned on doing a lot of sewing and so I put the most important on the top and worked my way down.  I had planned on cleaning the living room windows, preparing a table for painting and getting the kids final grades ready to send to the school we're enrolled in.
  I was completely shocked when on Saturday not only had I completed almost everything on my list I also had Sunday dinner planned and ready!  My attitude definitely made a difference (Along with giving my family a pleasant wife and mother instead of a fretful one!)
  Here's some tips to help you be a happy homemaker instead of a fretful one:
1)  Be a Mary first--choose to spend time with the Lord if nothing else gets done! "But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42)
2)  Break down your week's work into a plan.  I put what I want to get done for the week in one list and then break it down into each day.   I only write down one day at a time what I hope to get done and then what doesn't get done goes to the next day.
3)  Divide big jobs into workable pieces.  For example, I'm working on trying to get rid of excess out of our garage (half our life is still packed away!) and also am trying to get all the windows washed.  I have on my list a goal of 1 window per day and 3 boxes per day.
4)  Give each day to the Lord.   Think of placing it on an altar and giving it to Him and telling Him you want His will for your day and not yours.  That way if unexpected company shows up or your neighbor comes over and has an emergency where they need you, etc. your not going to fall apart because your planned day got changed.
5)  Plan time with your husband and children.  Ask the Lord to show you how to minister to them.  Keeping clean laundry in your husband's drawer and closet at all times is ministering to him.  A good hot meal on the table is ministering to your family.  Sitting on the porch and reading to your children is ministering to them.  Taking a walk with them is ministering to them.  Plan to do work together with your children.  I learned from my toddlers that they don't mind a job at all if mommy is right there with them making it fun.
6)  Learn to be a Pollyanna.  See the best in everything.  Don't just talk nice to your husband and children, talk nice to yourself!  Have little mantras you say to yourself like, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!"  "Don't put it down, put it away!"  "Make every trip count!"  "Let's give that the 5 minute clean-up!"  "No, I won't let you in, devil!" (I say that when I'm tempted to get frustrated with my husband and say something I'll regret!)
7)  Remember that anything worth having has a price tag on it.  Ask yourself, "Am I willing to pay the price to..."  For example, "Am I willing to pay the price it takes to see my children trained for the Lord?"  "Am I willing to pay the price to make my husband pleased with me?"  "Am I willing to pay the price to keep my health?"
8)  At the end of your work week enjoy the Lord's Day.  It is the first day of the new week.  Make it a very special day for your family.  I love Sunday dinner.  I love my family looking forward to what's going to be on the table and what dessert I'll be serving.  I love the quietness of our Sunday afternoons and I love being with the Lord's people.  Start your week right by obeying Isaiah 58 and not doing what please you on His day but what ministers to others in a very real way.  At the end of the Lord's Day prepare to plan your new week and when looking back at last week put it behind you and
HIT THE RESET BUTTON! 
  I pray the Lord blesses you greatly in this new week!
Love,
Mom
 
  

This Week's Focus....Physical/Spiritual Health

This week our girls class is focusing on two things in our physical fitness. In the area of nutrition we're trying to 1)cut back 500 calories per day if we need to lose some weight. If they don't need to lose weight we are working on making better choices for snacks. Choosing an apple with some peanut butter on it or a piece of fruit rather than an oatmeal cake, for example.
I've equipped our Health Shack in Sunday School with healthy snacks to give them some ideas.
In the area of exercise we're working on strength training at least two days per week. This means finding an exercise program. We're using a book by Kathy Smith called Fitness Makeover. It's my favorite strength training book because it only requires light and medium weights and a chair! Each week it focuses on a different area of the body.
You also can become a member (it's free) on Sparks.com and they will give you your own personalized strenth training program that you can do at home with no more than weights if that's what you want. http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/fitness2.asp (I don't know if this will let you see my fitness schedule but if not just go to Sparks.com and do some reading!)
In our spiritual areas we are working on not missing a time of daily Bible reading and prayer every day of the week. We are also working on giving it a specific time in our day just like we would a meal, a show on TV we never miss or a habit we have like brushing our teeth and showering. We are looking for time that we're wasting or misusing to find time to spend with the Lord.
These are basics, but so many of us have never made those basic important things a part of our life that is as sure as getting up each day. It takes 21 days to build a habit and three days to break it! Let's build new and healthy habits!

Spiritual/Physical Fitness

Since I just posted about my Sunday School class and since it's Saturday night how about a peek (and an invitation) to join us in our next quarter's theme?
This quarter we've decided to work on our physical fitness and our spiritual fitness. Right now in our Sunday School class we're taking an exam to see where we're at in our health in these two areas! Each week we're going to focus on a different aspect of each one of these areas.
Our bulletin board has a triangle on it with the word "nutrition" on one side, the word "exercise" on the second side and the word "cleanliness" on the third side. Can you guess where this is going? The bulletin board is divided in half at the top with the word "Physical" on the left and the word "Spiritual" on the right. I will be adding the areas we're working on as we get to them. This might take longer than a quarter before it's over!
We're going to cover spiritual nutrition and physical nutrition, spiritual exercise and physical exercise, spiritual cleanliness and physical cleanliness.
Right now we're hitting the basics. We're trying to encourage each girl to read her Bible each and every day. I'm sending home a calendar with suggested Bible reading on each day of the month. We're working toward developing a prayer journal or prayer list and encourage the girls to set aside a specific time each day to spend with the Lord.
This week our physical focus is on beginning to do strength training for at least two days a week and preferably three. I thoroughly enjoy strength training and do not enjoy the aerobic! So, I've told the girls I'm working on me right along with them! I've given them a sheet of paper with their own workout that requires only a chair, some weights, (which could be cans of soup!) and a willingness to do the workout. NO expensive gym membership required!
We're also focusing on wasted calories this week and trying to cut our calorie intake down just 500 calories a day if we have a weight problem. That will allow us to lose 1 lb. this week! An example I gave them is that a Big Mac is 590 calories but a 6-piece McNugget is 290. You just saved 300 calories by making a better choice. A Caramel sundae is 360 calories at McDonald's and their low fat ice cream cone is 150 calories. There's 110 calories saved with a right decision made.
How about you? Would you like to join my girls in taking a step forward both physically and spiritually?
May I encourage you to sit down and make a list of what regularly makes you feel guilty both in the physical and spiritual world. Then let's work together to take some steps forward irregardless of how small they may seem.
What's on your list?

• Being faithful in prayer or Bible reading?
• Keeping your priorities straight?
• Your tongue (with your hubby or children)
• Eating a healthier diet
• Your bedtime/rising time
• Exercising for a healthy body

Make a note on how you can change what you don't like. Don't make it monumental. Make it workable. For example:

• Prayer and Bible reading- 3:00-4:00 p.m. daily. (or what works with my personal schedule)
• Focus this week on meeting hubbies needs/wants before others.
• Memorize a verse on tongue control this week. Put verse in kitchen window where I see it!
• Make a better snack decision at least three times this week.
• Go to bed 15 minutes earlier/get up 15 minutes earlier.
• Strength train 2 times this week.

Ask the Lord to remind you. Put a note in your Bible or on your bathroom mirror with your goals. My main excuse for not exercising is that I don't have time. I asked myself when I had any extra time to do it. The first thing I thought of was our one hour lunch break. So I recruited my kids to exercise with me. They love it! (John actually pesters me if I hold off one day because of phone calls or company.)

I hope you're able to move up a notch in your spiritual life. My girls and I would like hearing from anyone that has decided to join us in our journey! Together always makes the journey easier!

The Joy of Children...

It's almost time for school to begin again at the Neal household and I can feel myself gearing up for the new year. Before I get into school mode though I want to take my mind back over the time I spent with my grandchildren recently. Children are one of the delights of my life and spending time with grandchildren is one of the joys of getting older!

I just got to spend time at Jimmy and Alicia's helping her after the birth of their sixth child--Elisha. Because of medical complications Alicia was in the hospital eight days and my stay was a little longer than usual. That just gave me more time to be around and get to know their children.

I still have three of my own at home and the two youngest went with me. They thoroughly enjoyed time with family as much as I did.

After I came home I jotted down things that my grandchildren had taught me while I was with them. I already knew each of these things but being by myself with a large group of kids (8 part of the time and 9 when I had Brian and Niki's Halle) reminded me of things that you sometimes forget.

One of the first things that I was reminded of was that children love to work if it is at your side. The younger they are the more important this is. If you send a 3 year old alone in their room to clean it up they are miserable but if you go in the room with them and say, "Well, let's see if we can make this place pretty!" they're happy to do it with you.

At the beginning of the week the kids and I talked about how God made a family a team and I gave them each their part of the team"work". Briley, Cierra and I got putting a meal on the table and cleaning it up down to a science by the end of the week. One of the girls set the napkins and silverware on and the other one set the plates and the cups. I did the food. At the end of the meal one of them cleared the table and the other one swept the floor while I washed dishes.

One day Audrey (who is 3) wanted to do her part so I handed her a dishrag and told her she could scrub down the benches. She wanted to be in on the work and I thought that was great! What amazed me was how good a job she did and how thorough she was. She even washed down the lower part of the benches.

If I'd sent her in there to do the job alone she would have been miserable. But because we were all working together and laughing and talking she wanted to be a part of it.

Another reminder that came back to me was that side-by-side time with children makes precious memories. So many times we think that we have to spend a lot of money or do something really big for children to be happy but when I think of my precious childhood memories it's not the big events but the personal time I spent with my grandparents. Things like my grandfather peeling apples and feeding them to us as he told stories. I remember baking with my grandmother and sitting at the table with her after that just talking.

Because I was doing a lot of meal preparation I made sure the kids were involved in it with me. Because there were lots of children I had Helper #1 (my main helper) and then they had helpers.

(#2, #3, etc.) The children learned to break eggs, flip pancakes, etc. and I don't know about them but I sure enjoyed our time together. Audrey and I made up a new little song for flipping pancakes and Isaiah and I had a wonderful heart-to-heart talk while washing dishes. I hope their memories are as sweet as mine.

Being with the kids reminded me that children are so easily motivated. At the beginning of the stay it was almost overwhelming to think of fixing three meals and a snack, doing laundry, keeping the house clean and making it to church with my brood I was watching! I am definitely feeling all of my 54 years since my illness last year. I knew I was going to have to enlist the children's help!

I talked to them about having a "We-Can-Do-It Club" to help us through this time with their mama's illness. (See Alicia's blog-http://reaganhome.blogspot.com/2009/08/where-does-time-go.html) We made up a chore sheet of morning, afternoon and evening chores and I put them in a notebook. It was so cute watching Caleb faithfully check his sheet each morning to make sure he'd done all his work!

I set up a point system (good and bad) and monitored them for incentive, attitude, willingness, obedience, etc. Nine bad points in a day required a talk with dad when he got home (no one had to have that, by the way!) but the good points went toward a reward when I left. The children amazed me with their desire to get good points and avoid bad ones.

Isaiah taught me a lesson in how much children can understand if we communicate with them at their own level. He'd had a day with some problems and was really frustrated. His frustration was coming out! At the end of the day I got alone with him and explained to him what I'd seen and gave him some thoughts on how he could keep from being so frustrated. As we were walking up the driveway to the house he slipped his hand in mine. I could tell he was just happy I understood and had talked to him. Later, when he got really frustrated again he came in with a chair where I was doing dishes and said, "I decided instead of getting mad I'd just come in here and help you." And that made both of us happy!

Another reminder was how children that have routine and schedule in their life are contented children. I learned this early in my mothering. Children like to know what's happening next and that they can count on it! I've had kids get very upset with me when we ate a brunch and missed a meal in their day.

Children fall into routine so smoothly. Breakfast at a certain time, lunch at a certain time, rest time, supper, bedtime snack. It is time to.... When they have a pattern and routine it creates a feeling of safety. Knowing where things go and what is expected of them each time will be the same--all that creates a happy child.

Each night I read out of a book called "Tucket's Travels" to the children. I think every single child except the two little ones asked me some time during the day--"Grandma, we are going to read tonight aren't we?" Just another reminder that children like a pattern to their lives.

Last of all, (but not least--I could name many more) I was reminded that a little full attention given to a child goes a long way. After supper I would go outside and watch the children play. I would get a cup of coffee and sit on the glider and watch them skate, ride bikes and play on the swing set. The truth was I was so tired I couldn't do anything else!

If I got up to go get more coffee one of them would say, "Grandma, where are you going? You're not going in, are you?"

I enjoyed the "Watch this Grandma." "Look at what I can do!"

It didn't take any energy, just a willingness to sit there and watch them.

What a time I had with the children. How wonderful to watch these children developing and their personalities blooming. Each one so different and so precious.

Briley--creative, a leader, always willing to help Grandma find her way in the Reagan household! Briley deserves a crown for being the wonderful big sister and little homemaker that she is!

Caleb- the artist, sensitive and detailed, painfully honest about himself whenever I asked him a question. Caleb's earnest desire to do what is right and to do it right is a joy.

Isaiah- cheerful, quick-witted, third born that has much to say if you stop and talk to him. He was a delight to watch as he went from his full military outfit to a cowboy with all the "fixins". Kept me laughing and kept me company at times when all the other kids were playing.

Audrey- My bedmate at night, my fellow cook, (her first question is "Grandma can we cook together?" when we talk on the phone), she is patient and kind. (and spunky too!:)

Macey- The most pleasant toddler I can ever remember, quick and willing to obey and gave me a baby to love on. I enjoyed having a little one to get up and check on in the night to make sure she was covered and pat her little head.

Elisha- I look forward to getting to know you!

Reagan babies--thank you for being patient with your grandma and for being such a wonderful blessing in my life! I enjoyed our walks to the soda fountain, reading together, bedtime snacks, watching you work so hard at earning points and trying to please me, making and eating lots of cookies, and everything else we did together during my stay. Thanks for reminding me how wonderful children are in our lives!

Scheduling the week....

I live my life by lists. I don't think I would get one-third of what I accomplish to the finish line if I didn't have my open notebook on the end of my breakfast bar. It isn't fancy but it sure works!
I have typed out a daily agenda. Mine reads somthing like this:

Today's Chores

• Prayer
• Bible reading
• Check calendar for appointments (with blank lines to write them in under this)
• Unload dishwasher
• Shine sink
• Load dishwasher
• What's for supper? (with lines below it to fill in)
• Check all hot spots and put out fires (a Flylady term for cleaning up the areas that seem to be catch-alls)
• 5 minutes room pick-ups LR K DR BR (living room, kitchen, dining room, bathrooms) I circle them after I run through them and pick up clutter and put it where it belongs)
• Laudry for today (under this I have a line for the name of the load -[darks,lights,towels] and then the capital letters W D F P that stand for wash, dry, fold and put away. I circle these as I get them accomplished.)
• Drink 64 oz. of water (then the numbers 1-8 so I can circle them as I drink them.)
• Walk 15 minutes
• Check trash and empty
• Cook Supper
• Write or sew for one hour
• Zone work (I pick a room to concentrate on for the week and do the extras in--like wash down the cabinets, etc.)

To one side of the sheet I have a little sidebar area with my WEEKLY CLEANING in it. This includes:

• Launder and change the sheets
• Carry out all trash
• Dust
• Sweep
• Mop
• Cull magazines and papers
• Polish mirrors, doorglasses, computers and TV screens
• Thoroughly clean bathrooms

I love this list because if I look at a dusty table I can say to myself, ("You'll get your attention on Friday when I dust everything" and then forget it!) You can laugh, (I just did) but this is a major in not carrying around emotional burdens.

Even my lists are my way of not carrying mental and emotional burdens. When I make my list on Monday (and my menus for the week) I am able to leave all the little wool-gathering thoughts on paper instead of asking myself "Now what was that I wanted to pick up at the store? Oh my, what was that I needed to have done by Thursday?" It just eases tension and stress to be able to go pick up the paper laying on my journal where I've listed my entire weeks chores.

The lists I wrote out above are typed and dropped down into sheet protectors. I have a dry erase pen that I write on the sheet protector with and at the end of the day I just wipe the slate clean and am ready for another day!

*Many of my ideas I got from Flylady--check her out, she's awesome on time management in homemaking!

Now for my own little paper list I make on Monday.

On the front of a sheet of notebook paper I write these headings:

KITCHEN/ SCHOOL/ SEWING /COMPUTER/ CORRESPONDENCE /

GARDENING /FAMILY /CHURCH

This week under KITCHEN I had:

• Make pie crusts
• Make pickles
• Make Brasco Broth
• Gary's birthday cake
• 4th of July dessert

Under SCHOOL I had:

• Asher's summer school
• Mail umbrella school

Under SEWING I had:

• Gary's pants (hem)
• Gary's suit pants (zipper)
• Culottes, (JB, Briley, Audrey)
• Baby outfits (embroidery)

Under COMPUTER:

• MP3 player-warranty
• Pickle recipe
• Price digestive enzymes
• Blog (if I have time:)

Under CORRESPONDENCE:

• Send thank-you notes (x3)
• Snail mail (x2)
• E-mails (personalx1)
• Call Oriental Trading Co.

Under FAMILY:

• Play game with kids
• Gary's birthday (special supper, gift)

Under CHURCH:

• Sunday School lesson
• Order crafts (Oriental Trading Co.)
• Buy snacks for canteen
• Draw girls for bulletin board
• Make cabin signs (This is a subject for another blog--My camp theme that my class is loving!)

On the back of that paper I put my menu and my shopping list. We usually head to town on Monday afternoon and I load up our lives for another week at the Neal Parsonage! This weeks menu includes taco salad, Chinese pepper steak, leftover Salisbury Steak (from Sunday dinner--make a big, big Sunday dinner and you never have to cook a meal on Monday evening!:), and grilled ribeye steaks and baked potatoes for my sweetheart's birthday! Desserts are parfaits, Strawberry pretzel dessert, and Pineapple Upside Down Cake for hubby's birthday. All the desserts are scaled down in calories trying to help the family eat a little lighter. Once a month I have "Thrift Week" when I try to spend as little as possible on groceries. I write that on the top of my week so I don't get carried away when I'm planning the menu. All menus are subject to instant change if we find a deal we can't pass up. (And we have a grocery in town that lets that happen pretty regularly!) My husband makes an early Monday morning pass at the local small grocery when he goes to the bank and comes homes with meat deals you wouldn't believe. Today he brought home a beautiful shoulder roast for $1.00 per pound!

Well, that's my little talk on time management! I've practiced it for years now and it really, really works for me. I'd love to hear others ideas that help them to keep time "redeemed".

With love,

Tami