His Wonderful Works....Part 5



 It's been a long and wonderful summer for us here at the Neals.  I love my front porch, I love the more relaxed mood, and I love projects in the summer.  So between my projects and my porch there have been no posts since June! :)
   These posts are a walk down memory lane for me.  I am doing them at the request of my husband.  He felt it would be good for me to meditate on all the wonderful blessings the Lord has given us.  He's right--it is good to remember the kindness, patience and goodness of the Lord as my Shepherd, my Teacher, and my Friend. (and so much more)
  In my last post I told how the Lord gave us our second child-Alicia.  What lessons He had for me in two little girls.  They looked different and their personalities were different.  Niki started talking in phrases at 15 months.  Alicia took her time in talking, but was pulling up in her crib early on.  She walked first, and her motor skills were advanced.  My mother had often told me not to expect the same thing from my second child as my first one, but now I was learning firsthand how different two children could be.
  Alicia's curious nature was always there.  She was always discovering something new.  Niki, on the other hand, would be walking behind me asking hundreds of adult-type questions.  I was absolutely enthralled with being the mother of two unique little girls.
  At this time I had been growing spiritually and began reading biographies of great Christians.  As a little girl my mother often read us stories of great Christians.  I remember Hudson Taylor, Johanna Veenstra, Mary Slessor and Nate Saint as some of the heroes that we had as children.  The sweet memories of these stories motivated me to start reading on my own. 
   I began to realize how important a prayer life was, how important reading my Bible daily was.  Part of it was because I had become a woman and the other part was realizing how important being a mother was.
  We lived in a small gray house that the church owned that sat in a lot adjacent to the church.  What sweet memories I have there!  I was learning the art of being a homemaker.  The floors were old grey tile, but I polished them with Future wax to make them shine.  I  spent time looking at  cookbooks so I could have a hot meal waiting for my husband when he got home from work.  I enjoyed decorating with items that had been given to me.
  I rehearsed in my mind things that my grandmother and mother had said while we were just chatting that now made sense.  My grandma had told me to always make sure my beds were made, my dishes done and my living room was tidy.  That way if company came I wouldn't be ashamed of my house.
  So what was the wonderful work in this time of my life?  Well, the Lord was just beginning the lesson of contentment in my life.  (And I had to repeat this grade for several years!)
  I had been given the gift of parents who had their value system straight.  Possessions had no hold on them.  My mother had told me she remembered reading a biography of Isobel Kuhn who said to always hold your possessions on an open hand to the Lord and to "never curl up your fingers on them."
  My parents were in full-time ministry most of their adult lives and they always had to pinch the pennies.  But you never sensed they resented it or felt they'd missed something.  They had found something bigger than having the right car, or the right house, or even the right clothes.  They had found how to have food and raiment and be very content. 
   Now we were living life on a tight budget with two little girls that needed clothes, doctor visits and food on the table.  I had a choice to make--resent it and fight it or learn what my parents had learned.  That lesson was how to depend on God and be thankful for what He provided.  I began to pray specifically for things like winter coats, shoes and grocery money for the week. 
  At the same time I was so very happy.  I had a husband who loved me, made me feel cherished, found joy in being the breadwinner and caring for his little family.  Our marriage was a happy one.  We had two healthy little girls.   I found that I could get more joy out of bathing a baby, or sitting under a shade tree and watching them play then in going shopping.  I got more joy out of fixing a new recipe than having a new outfit.  I found out that sitting on the porch with my husband after the girls had gone to bed and listening to the night sounds gave me more joy than going on the town for a night. 
  Although I didn't realize it this wasn't just my personality--it was a gift from the Lord.  I also didn't realize that this is the by-product that comes with carrying out your life in agreement with how the Lord designed the home and family.  When we do it His way it produces a deep contentment and joy in our hearts.
  How thankful I am now for the parents, the grandparents, the church and the husband God had so graciously given me.  All these had played a part in my being able to live in a tiny house with a tiny budget with very used furniture and hand-me-down clothes feeling like I was one of the richest women that ever lived!
  Today I look back with such gratefulness for all the wonderful blessings in my life that I took for granted then.  How I thank the Lord for the memories of the smallest beginnings in my life of I Timothy 6:6--"But godliness with contentment is great gain."
 
  

Our prayers are an influence in our home...

No one can intercede for the man of God, pray for his protection from the "destroyer" or set the mood by prayer like we can. This is spiritual warfare, and the battle is on for our husbands, our home, our families...
"Happy the man, called to go forward in any pathway of faith, who has in his life-companion ony sympathy and help....frail in health and only twenty-eight years in age, Mrs. Taylor's... hands were full with the care of four young children, yet from the moment she learned of her husband's call to the great, the seemingly impossible task of evangelization of inland China she became in a new way his comfort and inspiration. Her hand wrote for him, her faith strengthened his own, her prayers undergirded the whole work and her practical experience and loving heart made her the Mother of the mission..." -Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret
"Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses." (Neh. 4:14)
Our families have souls, let's fight for them in prevailing prayer today!

Influence...

 As I've spent time with the Lord and also spent time with Christian friends for the last few months I have realized how very, very important influence is. 
  Again and again in the Bible we see examples of people who were influenced for the good or for the bad by who they were with.  The Lord told His people Israel not to take on the way of the heathen, but to cast them out.  He even told them to burn their idols and cast down their altars "lest thou be snared therein"... (Deut. 7:25)
  We see where David's son was influenced by a friend who was subtil.  That same friend had an influence in his death!
  We see Solomon's mother warning him of wrong influence, (Proverbs 31) we hear Solomon warning in the book of Proverbs of whose way we should follow and whose way will lead us into destruction of our life and soul. (almost every chapter!)
  Paul repeats again and again who to be with and who to avoid.  He even warns that only the spiritual should try to rescue those who have been snared into sin lest they fall along with them. (Gal. 6:1)
  Rather we want to admit it or not we are all influenced by who we spend time with, what we read, what we look at, or where we spend our time. 
  One of the greatest joys of my life is reconnecting with someone from years ago and seeing that they have remained strong in the faith.  What joy to find that they haven't dropped any convictions, and that although they have had to stand alone in many areas they are still remaining faithful to Christ.
  One of the greatest sorrows in my life has been watching people who you were sure would never lose the wonderful joy they had in Christ and in following Him as a peculiar people decide that they were wrong and reevalutating all those things that at one time they found their sweetest fellowship with Christ in. 
  It is usually obvious that things are not the same.  They've lost that excitment and joy on what Christ is doing in their lives.  They either avoid subjects or are argumentive about tenets of the faith that they once taught new Christians as very important to growing in grace and the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
  As you listen to them you almost always find certain common denominators:

1)  False doctrine has slipped in somewhere.   Paul warned of this repeatedly.  He said it would happen.  Someone has come in with something that is so close to the truth it is difficult to tell that it's not the truth with just a little poison slipped in.  My dad used to say that just a little rat poison in your loaf of bread would still sicken or kill you! 
   If you're going to disobey the word of God and cease obeying the truth you have to replace it with something else.  I know there's nothing new under the sun, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that the doctrines that replace the truth almost always make salvation confusing with works added to it.
  I have found by experience that God's authority and His prescribed design are safety nets here.  If we seek the truth we find it, and the truth will always, always set us free.

2)  Someone has influenced them-- not Christ.  When you find extremes among God's people you will almost always find them following a person.  Rather it's extremes in being just like the world or extremes in being apart from the world when you really listen to people who've moved from the truth they have been influenced by a book, a preacher, a family, an internet site, a Bible college,  etc. 
   I like to ask people how much time they simply spend in the word of God each day seeking His face that they might submit their will, heart and mind to Christ. How much time are they searching for His heart and mind on every issue of their lives.  When you come before Him with a humble heart and a true desire to obey Him He makes it very clear what He desires. 
  Paul told those who wanted to follow him or Applos or Cephas that they weren't to pattern their life after a man, but after Christ.   (I Cor. 1:12-25)
  I know in my own life when I began to wander into the desert of depression I had listened to a false doctrine and other voices above my Saviour's.  It only led to confusion and spiritual darkness. 
  This goes back to authority.  Every human authority in my life is just that--human.  I have to have a deeper faith, one that goes back to trusting a very perfect God to lead my life by a human authority.  I must believe I can trust God--He will never influence me to sin.

3)  The direction of the life usually doesn't go to a purer and holier life, but to a life that is void of spiritual life.    In most lives you see great outward change.  There is a change in what they wear, where they feel comfortable going, what they call "godly music", etc.  This is outward manifestation of a deeper problem.
  With others the person becomes more extreme in their outward appearance and personal standards of life and practice.  They make more and more demands on what it requires to be right with God.  They have a "prescribed" list that grows and grows as they decide what is spiritual and what is not.  Many times you find them swallowing camels and straining at gnats.  This is because they are putting an emphasis on the flesh and not on the spirit of Christ.  Many times you find they have a root sin they've never gotten victory over and so other areas are overemphasised.  In both cases the root problem is not allowing Christ Himself be the authority. 
  Matthew 5-7 is Christ's discourse that makes it plain that God is a holy God with very high standards.  He also makes it clear that they are impossible in the power of the flesh.  When we attempt to carry out God's holiness in the power of the flesh it creates a very filthy, spiritually superior spirit.
  On the other hand, separation is from page 1 of the Bible to the last chapter.  God hates sin.  Sin destroys us.  When we ask Him to save us He starts a work of saving us of each and every thing that He cannot have as a holy God.  It's not that we aren't to live separated lives, it's that we are to live them by the power of the Spirit.
   I once saw an illustration showing white, gray, black and in that illustration were things listed that most Christians saw as definitely white, some that they saw as gray, and some most Christians saw as black.  Then it showed Christ as perfectly white and pure.  It showed the world in the lighter black and the church in the white.
  Then it showed the world going deeper and deeper into the black, and as it did the church was moving deeper and deeper from the white to the gray and almost to the black.  The problem?  The church was saying, "We're staying the same distance from the world as we always have!"
  But are we to compare ourselves among ourselves, or are we to have Christ as our goal?  If you keep your eyes on Christ as your comparison you will  live a purer and purer life as you grow.
  
When I think of my own life I think about what I have in my life that influences me.  Then I ask the question, "How does it influence me?" 
Am I influenced when I get a new seed catalog, beautiful Southern Lady magazine, or clothing catalog?  Yes.
Am I influenced when I watch a movie or read a book?  Yes.  I can name books that literally changed the course of my life and thinking.
 Am I influenced by the people I spend time with?  Yes.  I have people that leave me feeling like a limp rag from the emotional weight they pull out of you,  I have people that convict me, (but in a good way) and motivate me to do more for Christ, love Him more, spend more time with Him,  I have people that make me unhappy with who I am and where I am, (if I let them) I have people who energize me.  Yes, people influence me.
Am I influenced by my family?  My children can influence me to laugh, cry, and pray.  They can make me so proud I want to wave a flag and say "Hey everyone, that's my child." and they can shame me to where I would like to not answer when they say "Mom".  Yes, my family influences me.
Am I influenced by the word of God?  Yes, when I prayerfully get alone with the Lord in the word of God I can't believe what it does to me.  It's alive!  It permeates, cleanses, renews, and is engrafted into me.
  Am I influenced by what I listen to?  Obviously, if I'm having an overwhelming day my husband will say, "Why don't you go turn on your Christian radio station?"  I can go into a store playing rock and fully understand why teens get a gun and shoot someone after listening to it!  Why do you think bars don't play hymns?  I could name two men that told me their infidelity in their marriage started with listening to country music on a regular basis. 
  Am I influenced by what I wear?  You better believe it.  I have outfits that make me feel fat, frumpy and irritable just by glancing in the mirror.  I also have clothes that make me feel good about myself. I have clothes that say I'm going to be painting or in the garden, and I have clothes that make my kids say, "Where are you going today?"  Many times in my life my clothes have motivated the question from a complete stranger, "Where do you go to church?"  I always reply, "What makes you ask me that?"  It's what I wear!
    I can dress in a way that is suggestive, and I can dress in a way that is pure.  I can unbutton one more button and make an entirely different statement. I can make it slightly tighter and slightly higher up on my leg and I promise you my husband would say it wasn't going out the front door of this house.
   I can convince people I'm a businesswoman, a lover of country music, a motorcycle mama, going to lay on a beach or a street walker -by what I wear.  I mark every scripture that discusses clothing with a small picture of a garment.  There is no argument--clothing matters to God.
  Am I influenced by where I go?  Yes, I am.  I don't shop too much or I become covetous.  I don't go spend time in bars, certain stores, or in the wrong section of a book store because I don't want to be influenced in a wrong way.  I am careful with social networking because it has a powerful influence in my life.  I have been influenced by what I saw on a Facebook page to laugh till I cried, to say A-men out loud, and to weep like a baby at where that person's life has gone.
 I know this is long, but I've got a deep, deep burden for today's child of God.  I prayerfully ask you to turn to the Lord and yield yourself to His influence in your life  (Rom. 12:1,2) and then beg Him to make you an influence in someone else's life to turn them to a life of abiding in Christ.  There is no joy like the joy of the Lord Himself being your strength. 
  Influence.....who is yours and who are you influencing?

 
  

What Is Your Occupation?

  As a young mother I had my times when I had to sit before a receptionist at the hospital with a sick baby on my lap and answer questions before they treated him.  In the early years I remember them saying, "Do you work?" 
  "Well, yes at least 16 hours per day and sometimes more--like tonight." 
   I would get two responses usually, the head would go down with a slight smile of amusement or the cold glare of "come one now, let's answer this the way you should" and then it would be rephrased, "I mean, do you have a job?"

  "Yes, I'm a full time homemaker."
   That was carefully worded so they couldn't say, "Then you don't work."  That point had been established in the first question.
   Now the question is, "Do you work outside the home?"  Much better put.  But they still don't use the answer that I wish they would use--"What is your occupation?"

  That would be in interesting question to use if for one day people had to be completely honest.  It really got me to asking myself that question.  I would answer "I'm a keeper at home, or I'm a homemaker." but then I have to think about if I'm am truly occupying myself during the working day as a homemaker or keeper at home.
   I first looked up the words "occupation" and "vocation" in the word of God and found their definitions.  I also looked up the word where Paul told us to "occupy till he came".  I think the context there is "keep on doing what you're supposed to be doing faithfully till the Lord returns." 
   In Genesis 46 and 47 the occupation of Joseph's family was being discussed. Joseph had instructions for them on how to answer Pharoah in what their "occupation" was.  That word meant:
1. deed, work

    a) deed, thing done, act

    b) work, labour

    c) business, pursuit

    d) undertaking, enterprise

    e) achievement

    f) deeds, works (of deliverance and judgment)

    g) work, thing made

    h) work (of God)

   i) product

  You can see there that this was a work, business that had something made out of it or a product. It was a deed with a purpose. 

   When Jonah was asked what his occupation was the definition was slightly different.  His was a question involving more of a product itself or who had commissioned the work to him.  They were more interested with why he was one their boat and what he was headed to do that might be bringing on them what they were experiencing the terrors they were going through.

  

1) occupation, work, business

   a) occupation, business

   b ) property

   c) work (something done or made)

   d) workmanship

   e) service, use

   f) public business

   1) political

   2) religious

  Aquilla and Priscilla were involved in a certain trade.  When Paul lived with them he was able to earn some money because they were of the same trade or occupation.  That was the trade of the tentmaker.  That word occupation simply means "of the plastic art, or trade".  (Acts 18:3)

   Later, in Acts 19:25 men are having losses to their occupation because of people becoming Christians.  That word simply means "such as this".  It could be used by gamblers, people who sell Satanic items, liquor dealers, etc.  People who would be in an occupation "such as this" would take a loss if we had revival.  This happened to be silversmith who was losing business in making false gods.

   Now that takes me back to my occupation, or may I say in a broader sense what should the occupation of a godly woman be.  Webster's1828  dictionary lists occupation as "That which engages the time and attention; employment; business." or "The principal business of one's life; vocation;  calling; trade; the business which a man follows to procure a living or obtain wealth."

   This causes me to think about what occupies my time and attention and what is the product I desire to produce at the end of my life, what is the calling I have from God to spend the time He's given me?  They are sobering questions. 

  "What a terrible thing to have to answer, (If we had to tell the complete truth to the Lord.) "The thing that consumes most of my time is books, the tv, the internet, games, shuttling my kids to the babysitters so we can make money and have everything our neighbors have, working for another master who has a different goal for me than You have." 

  This thought is for me the "keeper at home" just as much as the "working mother" or the "aged woman".  Am I carrying out the occupation and vocation that God wants me doing that I will produce the product He wants to see at the end of my life?

   Proverbs 31:10-31 is the role model the Lord gave me for how He wants me to "occupy my time".  It's beena 37 year pursuit for me and I still have much to develop.  

   Let's look at what consumed my role model's time.

   *She spent time making sure her husband didn't need being spoiled (shamed) by what she did with her time.  I can think of a man walking into a home that has obviously been neglected-it spoils him and shames him.  I can think of a man finding out his wife has used up too much money out of the checkbook.  It spoils him.  He wants everyone to think good of him because of how his wife cares for his home, his money, his clothes, his children and him!  (The word spoil means to plunder or to make money by dubious means.)  He is the breadwinner but he wants (and needs) our assistance in seeing that what he's worked hard for isn't spoiled by us.

    *She spent time gathering supplies in to make things with her hands.  It said she went afar to get just the right merchandise to run their home smoothly. 

   *Every day of her life she did good to her husband and not evil.  (That takes time and a controlled tongue.)

   *She gets up before the sun to feed her household and her maiden.

   *She takes time to go find and purchase a field that she intends to plant a vineyard in.

   *She spent time keeping her physical body strong.

   *She has merchandise she's making to sell and that requires working after the sun goes down.  Today we call that a cottage industry.  There is nothing wrong with it but do you see where it is in her day.  Everyone else is down and she's staying up to work on it.

   *Nor only is she making merchandise to sell, she is covering the needy and she has her own household clothed with scarlet and herself with tapestry.  (This is fine clothing that had hours of needlework involved)

   *Her work obviously helps to make her husband be a man of reknown. 

   *She takes her fine linen that she's made and sells it and delivers it to the merchants.  (No, she didn't set up shop with the merchants.)

   *Because she opened her mouth with wisdom we know she had to have an active relationship with the Lord.  That takes time, it doesn't just happend.

   *She doesn't sit around eating the bread of idleness--this is a busy woman!

  * Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and then God praise her-  I CALL THAT A PRODUCT WORTH SPENDING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE IN!

   Another lady whose priorities and time management has always captured my interest is "the widow indeed".  I hope I never have to turn to the church to take care of me, but I see here that this woman had lived a life that was so pleasing to God that He commands she's cared for.  What had she spent her time on?

   *She had one husband.  (Being a godly, biblical wife involves time seeking God's commandments for you and it takes time to live them.)

   *The widow indeed spends time in prayers and supplications day and night. (it says she's trusting in the Lord alone--that requires a lot of prayer)

   *It says she was well reported of for her good works.  That got my curiosity up- what did good works mean? 

1) business, employment, that which any one is occupied

a) that which one undertakes to do, enterprise, undertaking

2) any product whatever, any thing accomplished by hand, art, industry, or mind

3) an act, deed, thing done: the idea of working is emphasised in opp. to that which is less than work

  

     Here we are again with the things that we spend our time on and let ourselves become occupied with that produces the right product.  It also is called "work".
   *She was to have brought up children.
   *She was to have lodged strangers in her home.
   *She was to have washed the saints feet.
   *Relieved the afflicted.
   Sounds like a busy woman doing the right thing before God.

   The Titus 2 woman is my last role model that I seriously look to as a pattern God has given me for how He wants me to occupy my time.
   *I am to be discreet
   *I am to be chaste
   *I am to be a keeper at home (That little word 'at' has a position involved with it.  Some position words would be under, over, in, above, beside, by, etc.) You can't be "at Walmart" and be "at home" at the same time. You can't be "at work" and "at home" at the same time.  The word keeper involves the care of the home and the watchman of the home.  If we properly prioritize our days we can make our WalMart trips, our phone calls, our time on the internet, but we must never, never let them keep us from being the keeper at our home.  If we don't keep it someone else will.  Be on your guard!
   * I am to be good.  That word means to be useful, to be pleasant, to be agreeable, joyful and happy.
    If I'm fighting God's design for my life but yet I decide I have to or get in trouble with God and I grit my teeth and do it, I have skipped this one.  When we yield to the Designer and decide to live life the way He planned it to work best for us, we find great joy and happiness.
   *We ar to be obedient to our own husbands.  That word obedient means:
  

1) to arrange under, to subordinate

2) to subject, put in subjection

3) to subject one's self, obey

4) to submit to one's control

5) to yield to one's admonition or advice

6) to obey, be subject

   He is to be the one who is in charge, and I'm the subordinate.  I am to be subject to his wishes, I am to subject myself to his control, yield to his admonition and advice and obey and be subject to his wishes. 

   I have found that whenever I agree with God and embrace what He has commanded me to do He gives me wings and I find great freedom and joy in it.  Tr

 Try it--it's much better than being an angry woman with a sign getting your picture in the paper!

 When we refuse to take the occupation that God has given us as women in the Bible we are told in Titus 2:5 that the Word of God is blasphemed.  That is a serious thing.  It makes people take the word of God lightly because they see professing Christians taking their "occupation" lightly.  In Titus 2 He directs that at young women who will not take on their God-given occupation and are trying to get the fruit and blessings of a godly woman (I want my children to go to heaven!  I don't want my children to get involved in sin.  I want my marriage to last.) without carrying out the commands to women.

   The word "blasphemed" means :

1) to speak reproachfully, rail at, revile, calumniate, blaspheme

2) to be evil spoken of, reviled, railed at

  We're there.  So many people have no use for God's word.  They are confused at all the multiple messages coming from professed Christians.  But God is not confused and He's never wrong.  We have a map to follow and it is His word.

  He has much, much more to say to young and older woman but today I want to impress on you how you spend you time.  What your real occupation is.

  I tell the story of when I first learned to do heirloom sewing.  I loved it!  I was consumed with it.  I couldn't wait to get breakfast done so I could pull out my work for the day.  I got irritable with the kids while they were doing school because I wanted them to get done so I could do what I wanted to do.  I dreaded cooking supper, or doing laundry--anything that kept me from what I wanted to do--heirloom sewing. 

  One day, (after another frustrating day at home for everyone) it was just like the Lord said, "You're no longer a keeper at home, a home maker, you're an heirloom seamstress now."  Oh, my how that convicted, but I knew it was true.  That's why my duties as a keeper at home had become frustrating.  I realized I had become an heirloom seamstress that did homemaking on the side and I had to go back to being a homemaker that did heirloom sewing on the side.  When I obeyed the Lord our home became the sweet haven it had always been before that.

  What occupies your time?  What fruit is watching the tv going to give you in eternity?  What fruit is reading novels (and I'm not against either in their proper priority) going to give you in eternity?  But what about a very happy huband who praises you in the gates, or children who rise up and call you blessed?  Pour your heart and life into the occupation that God has given we women!  I'm old enough now that I see much fruit from my labor.  Prov. 31:30,31 says "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands: and let her own works praise her in the gates."  Make that your goal!  Let that pull you through the days you think you can't keep doing it.

   On my headstone when I die I have instructed my children to put, "I HAVE NO GREATER JOY THAN TO HEAR THAT MY CHILDREN WALK IN TRUTH.'  III JOHN 4

  I hope that is able to sum up the occupation of my life and the product I desired to see.  That the children (physical and spiritual) that the Lord allowed Gary and I to raise for Him are all walking in truth.  That's worth it all!

******************

  Today you will influence someone---that's another word for leadership.  How are you going to influence them?  I ask the Lord daily to bring good influences into my children's lives and to protect them from evil influences.  Today-why don't we each make a choice to influence someone that there is joy and freedom in carrying out our lives as women by God's authority and God's design.  You never know who you may influence--it might be your own son or daughter, it might be the neighbor, it might be your mate.  But let's each one be an influence to do what is pleasing before the Lord!

Love,

Mom

  

Our Cierra Nichole...

  We got Cierra and John in February when she was three years old and he was 10 months old.  John, being a baby just snuggled right up and made himself at home.  Cierra wasn't so quick to adjust.  She was a beautiful brown haired little girl with dark brown eyes and she was also scared out of her wits!  I tried my best to put myself in her shoes as she stood in our living room looking around.
  She was very articulate and a quick learner, but she didn't feel like she belonged to us yet.  Whenever I would go somewhere and my husband wasn't with us she would ask me, "Why are you driving?  Why isn't he driving?"  Then when we got in the van she would lay over in her seat as if she was very distressed. 
  I tried trips together to Wal Mart to buy Dora the Explorer as rewards for being a good girl, I tried taking her on a "date" to Cracker Barrel, I tried letting her shop with me and push the little girl's cart in Kroger but each time it was just her and me she would end up talking very mean to me and we would repeatedly have to make trips to the bathroom.  (meaning she was very nervous)
   The day came we were to go before the judge and I stood in the bathroom brushing her hair and explaining to her what was happening.   I told her that "today we're going before a judge and we're going to tell him we want you forever."  I looked down as she asked, "You DO?" and saw hives on her little neck. 
  "Yes," I said, "forever and ever and I'll tell the judge that."  .
   "And I won't have to be on the street or in the ditch any more?"  she asked.
  "No, honey, right here with your daddy and me forever and ever."  She heaved a long sigh of relief.
   When we got to court I held her in my arms and told the judge we wanted them forever.  When we got home she bounced around the house like a little bunny rabbit full of joy. 
   She never asked why my husband wasn't driving again.  I can only guess that when I took her somewhere without baby John she thought I didn't want her and was taking her to another home.  She never laid down in the seat again.  She learned to love shopping with mommy! (and still does!)
  I call Cierra my rose in bloom.  She's turned into the most wonderful daughter a mother could wish for.  We have so much in common.  My mother told me more than once that Cierra looked more like my biological daughter than my biological daughters do!  We also have so many similar loves and interest--cooking, baking, sewing, designing, and yes, this year we even laughed and cried and enjoyed doing Algebra together!
  When we had her first birthday party she didn't seem to know what to do.  I had to coach her through the whole thing.  Let me tell you, by the next one she had it all figured out and knew exactly who and what she wanted! "I want a tea party, I want little sandwiches, I want Rachel and Haley and....."

  This year our daughter turned 15.  Her birthday is the day before mine so I always tell her that she was my birthday gift the year we got her and continues to be every year of my life! 
She is one of the most generous people I've ever met and so very easy to please.  I truly believe that if
I told her we couldn't get her a thing she would say that was fine.  I also believe if she thought someone needed something she was just given more than herself she would give it to them cheerfully!

  This year she decided she'd like to have some friends over, that she wanted a Peanut Butter Pie and a Butter Brickle Pie in lieu of the usual birthday cake and she wanted a big Mexican dinner--enchiladas, corn, salad, Spanish rice, Mexican corn bread and the desserts.  Then she wanted us to get guest passes for Tansi so they could go miniature golf, play volleyball. tennis, tetherball or ping pong.   Sounded good to us, the day was supposed to be a sunny day.
  Well, just as we got the dishes done the sky began to turn gray!  Then the rain began to sprinkle down.  Then we began to get heavy rain with hail.  I was at the sink thinking, "Well, I guess they'll have to do board games or the Wii."
  I stepped on the porch after finishing the kitchen to see what was going on!  (I could hear laughing.)
Well, the rain was pouring off the gutters it was raining so hard and a water fight had started. 

   I stepped outside and we all were laughing and talking and watching the rain.  I heard Sarah whisper something to Cierra and Cierra laughed and said, "I don't think so!" 
  I said, "What?"  Cierra told me that Sarah wondered if I she could get me wet!

  "Not and live!"  was my reply.

  Well, the water fight got so wild I decided the house was safer, so Sarah and I decided to go in the house and play some Wii.  Just as I was learning how to do it I got a phone call. (I am Wii dysfunctional.)  So I was trying to learn from Sarah and talk on the phone when there was a loud crack, the house went black and the phone went dead!

  I ended up putting the cordless up and going to my room to talk on the phone in there.  Next thing I can hear is Cierra screaming.  She was going down the hall and Sarah had jumped out of her room and scared her.  Well, that started hide and go seek in the dark house.  Cierra, Naomi, Sarah and John! 
I had to shut the door they were all laughing so hard.  I decided that I would only open the door if I heard a crash or breaking glass.  I only had to open the door twice! :)

   Now these are kids who are dripping wet and there is no electricity!  They all had their dry clothes for Sunday night but no way to dry there hair!  They had such a good time that as we were heading out to church (with very we heads) I realized Cierra hadn't even opened her gifts yet!
   "I don't care," she said, "I've been having too much fun to open gifts!"

   So the gifts, more pie and other goodies all had to wait till we got home from church but that was fun because we had another party!  And, this week the Snodderly girls are coming back so they can use those Tansi passes!  Sounds fun to me! 

  I am reminded of a scene in Anne of Green Gables when Matthew and Marilla are seeing Anne off to teach at Queens.  Matthew states that it was their luck when they were accidentally given a boy and Marilla answers, "It wasn't luck, Matthew--it was Providence.  He knew we needed her!" 
  That's how I feel about our Cierra Nichole.  She needed us, but we needed her more.  With her cheerful spirit, her generous heart, her willingness to help, and her wonderful creative nature she is such a blessing to this home. 
  I love you Cierra!  I'm so thankful you're ours!

Love,

Mom

Now how many kids do you know who would ask for a jar of olives and a bag of Skittle as part of their birthday gift? :) (picture at left)

Summer Is Almost Here!

   As much as I love teaching when we get into the month of May I go back in my mind to being a little 5th grade girl sitting in my classroom.  In May our teacher would raise the windows to cool the room and although my body was sitting at the wooden desk lined neatly behind someone else's, my mind was outside under the big trees that lined our school.  I wanted so much to be out enjoying the warm breeze, the newly leafed trees and playing--not doing school.  I'm sure I wasn't a very productive student in the springtime because my heart and mind were already on summer break!
  Well, not a whole lot has changed.  I truly feel for my children when they have a hard time concentrating this time of the year.  I give them the standard lectures on how the end of the year grades are SO important so they need to focus on those last few tests, but inside I'm with them--dying to close the books and get outside!
   My husband says that the reason I love children so much is because I've never quit being one myself.  I don't argue that point because the last week as I go to sleep at night I try to think of what the children and I will do this summer.
  Sometimes I'll try to think of a theme.  I love the camp theme for kids in the summer.  You can have "cabin clean-up" each day and have a winner at the end of the week--boys against girls.  You can have a canteen and when they do good on chores and projects they earn reward money that can be spent at the canteen.  It can be chips, candy bars, granola bars, cheese crackers or coupons "good for a McDonald's ice cream cone" (each one having a value put on it in your fake money) but kids love spending money at the canteen.  By the way, the canteen is only open at certain hours of the day!
  You can have craft projects you do together.  These can be carefully disguised jobs that you're wanting to get done.  I'm trying to figure out how to slip in my "sand and paint" the little table for the front porch into a craft project for the kids this summer! 

  You can have badges that the kids earn by carrying out their craft projects or doing a nature project.  You can teach them how to make lanyards, how to sew a simple skirt, baking 101, make and paint your own birdhouse, backyard garden, etc.  All this keeps the kids busy and happy and teaches them something new at the same time.  I don't know about anyone else but I enjoy these projects just as much as my kids do.  I've been a mama long enough now that you can do just about anything with a kid and if you're into it with them wholeheartedly they're going to have a wonderful time!
  One year when I was at Alicia's helping after a baby (I believe it was Macey Joy) I brought "camp in a suitcase" with me when I came to watch the children while Alicia recovered.   I had scarves (like the boys scout and girl scouts wear) that we sewed badges (special buttons and beads) on when they earned them.  We had canteen, morning devotions, game time, craft time and rest time. (that last one was Grandma inspired and needed!)  We had cabin cleanup contest, special treats to make and eat and we even designed and made our own camp flag. On each Friday evening we had "awards night" where the kids earned their choice of $1 gifts from Dollar Tree for being the one with the most initiative on their chores or the most cheerful or that learned all of Psalms 100.   The camp was called Camp Tamarak.  (My name is Tamara Kaye and I was really pleased with the name of the camp. :)

   Something else kids love is being out at night in the summer.  My kids and I have always loved building campfires and sitting by it after dark.   You can chase fireflies, play flashlight tag, find the summer constellations and tell them stories by a campfire.  You can teach them to make S'mores, try making some hamburger packets or other campfire food, and if you're really brave you can even camp out with them in the backyard.  I have actually built tents with sheets and clothespins over a swing set and had a wonderful time camping out with my kids. 

  Children love games and adults seem to draw back from games with children because, well, because kids can sure complicate games with their playfulness and their argumentiveness with one another, BUT they love games and they need games.  So I plan a game night and make myself do it.  I've found once I get into it I have a wonderful time and it if you make rules and stick to them everyone learns about cooperation and taking turns and you learn all kinds of new things about your kids!

   When I think of summer and kids I think of several things that you cannot fail with.  Eating outside is one.  Set up a table outside and roast some hot dogs, throw the chips on the table and have popsicles or ice cream cones ready for the end of the meal and you've got happy kids!  Summer is such a fun time for outdoor meals and snacks.  I've made my kids sack lunches or bought the little plastic trays at WalMart and let them carry their lunch outdoors to eat in the treehouse or fort.  Makes it so special!

  Another sure winner is water to play in!  Rather it's just a large tub of water they're allowed to play in with toys and cups or a small pool you keep carefully maintained ,(and I know what a job this is as we had a wading pool almost every year we lived at the Swan Pond parsonage that I cleaned manuall.) kids and water love each other on a hot summer day.  One of the funnest $1 investments I ever made was a bunch of water balloons with the little gizmo that goes on your outdoor water faucet to fill them with.  So fun!  Get a big trash barrel and let them spend an hour so filling them and then let them go at it. (with you in the middle)  Makes for a good half day of fun!

   Another fun toy that kids love to play with is sheets and/or refrigerator boxes.  Have your hubby stop by an appliance store and get a couple refrigerator boxes and then you and the kids can cut, paint and play.  I've made a Noah's ark out of one for Asher's third birthday, made nice big long tunnels for the kids to play in, made a castle, a fort, a pirate ship and a playhouse out of refrigerator boxes.  You can even let the kids cut up scrap fabric and make curtains for it.  You can attach it to the side of a swing set for a huge fort or hideout.  My kids have been detectives, spies, Civil War soldiers, pirates, and the list goes on and on and a refrigerator box has been part of the props many times.  As far as the sheets, you can make a wonderful tent over a clothesline, you can create instant shade on their swing set, and you can drape them over tables to make hideouts!  I remember having the kids completely convinced that we were hiding from Indians that were attacking when we were under a draped table!  
  I know there's more but the last one I can think of is taking a walk.  Where we live now it is beautiful and it is so enjoyable to walk the neighborhood.  My kids and I take penny walks sometimes.  You take a penny along and when you come to a corner you toss the penny to determine if you're going straight or turning!  We've forgotten the penny at times and so we'll throw the water bottle or something else we find to decide is is left, right or straight!  I also turn walks into scavenger hunts.  The kids get a certain amount of points if they see wildlife, a certain color of flower, an insect, children in a yard, a clothesline and the list can go on and on.  Last year I threw in that they would get 500 points if they saw a bear!  Much to my surprise a house had a wooden bear on the porch and one of the kids got the points!  Another time it was a frog and some people had a yard full of fake frogs!  You can reward the one with the most points however you wish.  You know, the losers have to wait on him all evening or something like that!

   This summer gas prices are high, my husband is working off hours where we will be home almost every day but I am looking forward to summer.  Years ago a lady wrote in a book I read how blessed you would be if you learned to find joy in those things that were God-given and were free.  Watching children play wiffle ball in the twilight, telling stories as you sit on the porch swing and watch fireflies blink.  Bathing a baby and teaching them to play with bubbles.  Being thrilled with watching your coffee perking on a counter with dappled sunlight mixing with the steam.  There is so much to do with children that is free or almost free.  If you're struggling financially right now it isn't the time to mope because you can't run to the amusement park with your kids this year--make your own amusement park in your own back yard and have fun!  If you ask the Lord to help you see this summer through the eyes of a child you can make it the most memorable summer your kids ever have and years later they'll say, "Mom, do you remember the summer when....."  and that will make it worth it all!

With love,

Mom


 

Post-Mother's Day Thoughts...

  I had a wonderful Mother's Day this year.  The celebration began on Saturday morning when at 8:15 a.m. a florist delivered me a beautiful hanging basket of bright peach geraniums!  I was curious as I opened the card, and to be truthful, Nevin has always been the one that has sent a rose to plant or flowers as a gift so I half-expected them to be from him.  I was already chiding whichever child did it in my head for "spending extra money they didn't have" but yet thrilled that I was that important!  When I opened the card it said, "I love you.  Alicia"  I had had a rough night physically but it was all forgotten in a second as that warm feeling of being special and loved went through me.  She couldn't have picked a better gift at a better time.  Thank you, my dear Alicia. (and family)
  Then the mail arrived and John knocked on the bedroom door with it behind his back.  He said, "You got this" and handed me an envelope, "and you got this!" and handed me a package!   They were both from Niki.  The envelope held new pictures of our precious grandbabies and the package was a coffee mug with pictures from the last year of the Lott family!  The pictures are on my dresser and the cup has the perfect place in my Hoosier cabinet!
  My next blessing was a visit from my mother-in-law which I thoroughly enjoyed.  We had asked her to spend the weekend with us as this was her first Mother's Day without Charles.  I love her as if she were my own mother and am so thankful for her.  We all went "flower shopping" for a while and found beautiful hostas at K Mart.  She and I both benefited from that trip because Gary went back later than evening and got us each two of them for Mother's Day.
  We bought the food for a simple Mother's Day lunch of hoagies, oven fries and fruit and cheese.  Cierra made brownie bites and Gary  bought chocolate ice cream and low calorie/low fat chocolate syrup so we could have sundaes  I was thrilled that we found the exact things on sale at UGO for my Mother's Day lunch I had asked for.  (They even had chicken and turkey submarine [a.k.a. long strips of deli meat] for $1.59 a lb.!  All we had to do was load the sandwiches!) 
   John bought me the clothesline I had requested so I could freshen my drapes this summer and hang out my sheets weekly.  Cierra bought me the can opener that was on my "wish list" and Gary bought me two hanging baskets of ferns and two hostas.  I'm a blessed mother, with or without gifts--but it sure is nice to have them express their love by showering you with gifts!
  I talked to all my children on Mother's Day and the crowning glory of a present was a personal letter written to me from my son Nathan.  It arrived by e-mail and when Gary came to see why I hadn't come to bed at 11:37 p.m. I was sitting there crying for joy at the sweet letter of gratitude from my son.  It was the perfect gift.
  His letter made me think about the choices I'd made as a mother.  Most of my choices were made from watching the example of my own precious mother and from believing the Bible is true and if we do what it says we will reap good fruit in our lives.  My choices were also a conscious decision on the part of my husband and myself being very serious about raising our children for the Lord.  I remember both of us being very nervous about the huge responsibility we had taken on when we had our first little baby girl! 
  I remember our discussions about the seriousness of being responsible for living souls and us making a definite choice for me to be a stay-at-home mother even if we had to "sell the furniture out from under us" for me to do so.  I also remember when Niki became school age many conversations about her education and once again we made the decision to see to it she got a Christian education and together "counting the cost" of this and deciding that whatever the cost our children would have a godly Christian education not a Christless one that challenged all we believed to be true.
   The Lord always sent the right sermon, the right book, the right person into our lives when we were "paying the price".  I remember reading the book Growing Up God's Way by John Stormer and reading about Susanna Wesley saying that the reason she hesitated to give advice to other mother's about child-rearing was that "so few mothers would take the center of their life and dedicate it to rearing godly children". (not a direct quote but how I remember it!)  I decided then that I would take the best part of my life and dedicate it to raising children for the Lord. 
  I remember another friend handing me the book, What the Bible Says About Child Training  by Richard Fugate.  After reading it I had an even deeper sense of responsibility to obey the word of God above all else in rearing children because God Himself held me responsible for it.  It changed my thinking and my life as a mother in a positive way.
   The last few days I've pondered all of this in my heart and yearned for the Lord to continue to use me as a godly woman, wife and mother till the day I die.  Today I was checking e-mails and a blog entitled "What's Been Easy About Losing 25 Pounds" caught my eye. http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=how_to_pay_the_price_for_weight_loss_and_win.  In this article he talked about "paying the price" to lose weight and get fit.  I had been thinking about "paying the price" but in the spiritual realm for two days now!  Every thing he said fit hand-and-glove with what I'd been thinking about concerning my role as a godly woman.  He talked about making a daily decision to "pay the price" and the long-term benefits you would reap.  He asked you to join his Spark group and list as a comment how you paid the price that day.  It inspired me and made me want to become a part of "paying the price" in the area of health, nutrition and fitness.  But it also inspired me to renew my commitments to "pay the price" in my spiritual life, and to think about it on a daily basis.
  An hour or so later it was time to exercise.  I don't hate exercise, I hate the time it takes out of my busy day.  Each day the man that wrote the book 8 Minutes in the Morning (by Jorge Cruise) has a little self-talk he wants you to do before you exercise.  Today's was about "Loser Zones".  In his book he had the quote, "You will never find time for anything.  If you want time, you must make it." -Charles Buxton, American writer.  That went right along with my philosophy that you will find the time and the money for anything you truly love and want.  He asked the question, "What are your Loser Zones, and how many hours per day do you spend Loser Zone activity?"  The number one loser zone he listed was television viewing--up to 30 hours a week for the average American!  He also mentioned aimless phone conversations, surfing the internet, etc.
  Once again my mind ran to the spiritual realm.  Where were my Loser Zones that kept me from spending more time with the Lord in His word and in prayer?  I could name a couple right off the bat.  Was I willing to "pay the price" so I could reap the benefits?  Who might I see saved this year or rescued spiritually if I was willing to "pay the price"?  What might happen in my own life and that of my family if I was willing to "pay the price" and move forward with the Lord to a higher plane than I've been on? 
  Today I was motivated in the spiritual area and in the physical realm to be a better mother this year than I was last year.  To yield what I wanted to see stronger bonds, sweeter relationships and spiritual fruit in my life and the life of my family.
  Because I'm a mother of older children and younger children I am already reaping some precious fruit from my children that lets me know it was worth every ounce of "paying the price".  My son's heartfelt thank you letter left me knowing it was worth every sacrifice I'd ever made as a mother.  Knowing your children are safely in His flock and fold givs you a good night's rest. 
  I thank the Lord for giving us a guide book and for His faithfulness in sending instructions when we are yearning for them.  I thank Him for letting me have the privilege and responsibility of being a mother, and I thank Him for entrusting those precious little souls into my care for a few years. 
  I pray that you too will count the cost and decide that it's worth every precious sacrifice you make to see your children "spiritually" healthy and satisfied.  May the Lord use this to encourage you to not be "weary in well doing" but to keep on keeping on as a wife and mother separated "from the world unto the Lord".   May God strengthen and encourage each one of you as you raise your family for Him.

Love,

Mom

Our John Robert...

  I always wanted and prayed for a large family.  At least seven children and I actually prayed for eight children.  I often tease my husband that one more will be coming along sooner or later since I prayed for eight!  "Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee;" Zech. 9:12 was the verse I used to ask the Lord to give my husband and I double of the four biological children we had. 
  Each Mother's Day I would pray and tell the Lord I was available to mother more children for Him if He would give them to us.  On July 17, 1991 God gave us our first extra blessing--Asher Obadiah.  His name means "how blessed" and he has been just that to us.  A wonderful bonus blessing!
  Then in 1999 God granted us two more bonus blessings!  We were given Cierra Nichole (who was 3) and John Robert (who was 10 months) straight from the Lord to our arms and love. 
  Tomorrow is John's 12th birthday so I'm going to tell his story.  When we got him he hadn't been held much and he still was basically just on a bottle.  Each night I would put a blanket in the dryer and get it warm and then sit and hold him and rock him.  He hadn't had much physical love and he ate it up!  He would snuggle up to me and just let me hold him and rock him and sing to him.
  When John turned a year old he became very sick.  His health wasn't good when we got him and he seemed to pick up everything that went around.  He ended up in the hospital with rotavirus and e-coli on his very first birthday!  His aunt came to the hospital and offered to watch him so I could go home and take a shower and get a nap.  I snatched the opportunity and headed home.  I had showered and was just settling in for a nap when the phone rang.  The hospital wanted me to come back because he wouldn't quit crying and was very upset.  So I headed back to the hospital.  The minute I picked him up he snuggled into my arms and quit crying.  I can remember calling my husband and saying,  "I'm his mama now.  He knows I'm his mama." 
   John hadn't had much opportunity to move about and so we got him a walker.  He didn't walk in a walker, he ran in a walker!  I had to block doorways so he wouldn't hit the divider and send himself flying!   Once he got the idea of moving around he wasn't happy with holding still!
   After we'd had the children for about a year Gary and I decided to try a getaway for our anniversary with Brian and Niki watching John and Cierra.  On the last day of our getaway Niki called and said she didn't think John was going to make it another day he was so unhappy and fussy.  So we headed back home early.  When we walked in the door he latched on to Gary's leg and when Gary picked him up he kept loving on him.
  That night we decided to let him lay in the bed with us for a while.  As he laid between Gary and I he would take turns kissing Gary's face and then kissing my face.  I don't know who was enjoying it the most--John or us.
  Early on John had a sense of adventure and a love for learning.  He has a mechanical mind and he's a problem solver.  If I can't figure out how something works I hand it to John.  He talked early and would ask the most unusual questions like "Why do refrigerators have wheels under them?"  I mean, what two year old studies on that?
  He loved Batman so we bought him the mask and a little cape.  One day I looked out the kitchen window and he was on the top of the fort (Gary had built it for Asher when he was little) and I could see he was planning on jumping off of it.  I raced out the back door but it was too late.  He had dived off of the fort and was on the ground crying.  I picked him up and checked him out.  He was scratched up but nothing broken.  I said, "John, honey, why did you do that?"  His reply was, "Because I thought I would fly like Batman!"  That's just one of the many scares he's given me with his love for adventure! 
  When he was about five he asked the Lord to be His Savior.  What a joy to put a checkmark by his name in my Bible where I have my children and grandchildren's names claiming their salvation ahead of time.  It is my heart's desire that he will always yield to the Lord in his life and bring glory to God.  It is also my prayer.
  Each year I've watched him grow and seen his personality develop.  He is a natural leader.  He has a sense of humor that I absolutely love.  He is better than tv comedy when he gets in a certain mood!  He loves the Three Stooges and I like to stand back in my room and listen to him belly laugh as he watches them.  He loves Dick Van Dyke and since I love that too we watch it together.  He loves games.  He would play games every night if I would agree.  His favorite is Monopoly.  He loves to fish.  He loves to hunt.  He loves he and I planning something together and then doing it together.  He has always loved planning a little garden and so I gave him a little plot of his own.  This year he's planning on growing vegetables in containers!
   I often think how empty my life would be without Asher, Cierra and John.  What a wonderful blessing they have been to us.
  Twelve years ago his aunt and I sit in a nursery together and it was Easter Sunday.  She told me that her little sister had had a baby that day-a little boy.  I never dreamed that he was going to be my little boy.
  Tomorrow he has requested a lemon cake with filling between the layers that is like the filling in a lemon filled donut.  Then he wants lemon buttercream icing and lemon ice cream.  He made me a list of all his "wishes" for his birthday.  It was typical for a boy his age and some were reasonable and some weren't.  (like rent the skating rink for the entire evening so just our family could skate all evening!)
  He'll be happy with what he's getting.  He's chosen spaghetti with lettuce salad, corn and garlic bread for supper.  That surprised me--I expected homemade chicken nuggets or Chicken Parmagiana.
  So tonight I'm sittting here looking forward to tomorrow when my "baby" is turning twelve and feeling a little sad too.  Wondering how much longer I'll get 55 kisses like I did tonight, or we'll have to pack "Moosie and Rex" in his backpack to travel anywhere in the world, or he'll want to hold my hand in church, or...
  Yet I'm enjoying seeing the adolescent John who insists on helping me with heavy things or getting something down for me that requires a ladder.  The John who  takes off with his dad on a deer hunt (and he got one!), or goes to work with his dad like he did last Saturday and earns himself $28 because he worked like a little man.
  My mother once gave me a vinegar cruet with silk roses in it.  She said, "Tami, this is like life---some bitter and some sweet, but we need to take is all and find joy in it."  So that's how I'm feeling tonight as my son turns twelve--like this is a little bittersweet.  However, I'm finding joy in all of it and am so thankful for my precious son that God hand-picked for us and gave to us.  Happy birthday, to my John!

Love,
Mom

p.s.  I would have pictures on here of our John but had a computer crash last week and am still replacing files that were lost!
  

A Tip (or two) for mommies...

This morning as I was making my bed I was thinking about (and missing) the days of having a toddler on the other side of the bed "helping" me. Then I got to thinking about those early motherhood days and some of the comments or helps I got that really changed things for me as a young mother.
One of those "lightbulb" moments was on a day when I was tired of disciplining again and again over getting the kids to do what I told them.
You know, "Come here and pick this up." "Go get in the bathtub." "It's time to eat lunch." "Time for bed." and the list goes on. and on. and on....
One day I was listening to James Dobson and he was talking about taking some of the stress out of parenting and he talked about how so many times we give a command and we don't give our children time to "switch gears".
He asked how we would like it if we were deep into a project and someone came in and made us immediately stop and go do something. Well, I instantly could think of being in the middle of a sewing project and my husband making me stop that instant to go do something else. I wouldn't like it!
He then told how when it involves something that isn't an emegerncy. You know, like "Get out of the house, it's on fire!" that we should give them some time to switch gears. If they are having a wonderful time playing something you should start maybe 15 minutes before and say something like, "In 15 minutes it will be time for bed." Then in 5 minutes give them the 10 minute warning, then in 5 minutes give them the 5 minute warning and have them begin to pick things up and then it's time to go do what it wanted.
I implemented that and it helped so much! I wasn't fighting irritation and they were so much more compliant. To this day I use that. Just tonight I began letting John know his computer time was running out 20 minutes before it did. No hassle when his time was up!
I learned little by little as a young mother that several of my problems I was creating myself! I thank the Lord for sending the right person with the right message at the right time!
I hope that you're enjoying the precious short time that you have little ones. You look back on it and realize how wonderful a time it was. Children don't require fancy or expensive items to have a good time. They love having you at their side and can turn a tin can into a toy. (or a sink full of bubbles, or paper and scissors.)
With this said, let me give a couple links that I found that John, Cierra and I are going to try out! These are not "christian" links so I can't say rather everything on them is good, but I love, love, love it when I get one more idea for the "little-to-no-cost" craft file!
Enjoy!

With love,
Mom

1) The first is paper flowers. My how I remember making these with my grandmother. We had tissue paper flowers in every vase she owned! So many of the beautiful crafts I see made by Martha Stewart and other websites are things that I made with my grandmother or mother, they've just used things that cost more money on them. However, our kids don't care! Cierra and I are going to make the beautiful pink flower covered wreath to hang over her bed as a home ec project!
http://howaboutorange.blogspot.com/2010/06/06-things-to-make-with-crepe-paper.html

2.) The second is teaching little hands to use motor skills. My grandmother had a box of lace up cards for us to play with. She used cards but you can use even poster board that you glue a coloring book picture on or you can sketch a picture yourself (like my mother did). It was on a rectangle and then the picture was put on it and holes were punched evenly around it.
Next, you had a blunt needle and some yarn put in it. You simply went in and out of the holes. So fun! I remember my grandmother keeping me happy with a needle and thread and having me go through her button box sorting colors and then threading them together! No wonder I wanted her button collection when she died. Sweet memories!
This lady is awesome with her ideas! She shows here how to use Dollar Store shelf liner that you sketch a picture on and then let the kiddos sew on it. Take a look. While you're there take a look at her music wall--oh, how I would have loved it! and many other cute ideas for kids!
http://www.fifthwizardry.com/2010/02/sewing-and-embroidery-for-kids-with.html

3) And how about paper? My mother taught me how to make a doll house from an old catalog. We took a piece of typing paper and then I cut out my favorite couch, chair, lamps, etc. from the catalog. Then I layered them with my own design. That was my living room! We did it with each room of the house and then bound them (with a hole punch and yarn) into a book! I played with them by the hour.
She also took poster board and made me a house with upstairs and downstairs. She drew (my mother was a very good artist.) each room and my oven door opened (cut out with a piece of cardboard glued behind it.) my beds had slits and the cardboard people went to bed and got between the covers.) and my little people were made for me in their nightgowns (for bedtime), I had a dad with a suit (for going to work), I had a baby that slid into its high chair, and a mom in her dress and apron for stirring the little pot that sat on my stove! I was such a blessed child!
I remember sitting with the little store she made me in a closet and singing my heart out to the song, "Thank You Lord for saving my soul...." as I played with my little cardboard store and watched my mother working in our kitchen.
Here's a place where you can make beautiful colored necklaces out of paper. We've made them out of gift wrap, magazines and leftover church bulletins. Kids love making them!
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Make-Your-Very-Own-Colored-Paper-Bead-Necklace
The How About Orange blog shows how to make beautiful bows for packages out of magazine pages, how to make paper medallions, how to make paper lanterns, and beautiful 3-D paper ornaments. Most of them even your 3 year old can manage!
4. Carboard boxes. My mother could turn a cereal box into a darling couch for an 11-inch doll. She made a cocoa box into a kitchen sink for my doll! She turned a wood block into a tiny radio!
Cardboard boxes are so, so fun! We've turned refrigerator boxes into boats, forts, and houses. The ideas are endless. You can make castles out of cardboard boxes, you can make huge blocks out of cardboard boxes. Little ones love stacking them! Go to fifthwizardy's blog and see some of the cute ideas she has for cardboard boxes!
John and I are working on turning a coffee can into a mailbox (complete with flag) for his treehouse. We're also trying to find crafts and experiments for this month. So, may I encourage you not just to look at these ideas--pick one and get the supplies and cover your table with newspapers and do it. Schedule a time and let nothing else take over that time-you've got a date with the kids!
Got any websites you love and use? Got other ideas or tips on crafts with kids? I'd love to hear about them!

Childhood...

This morning my mind was on mothering. I guess it was because I've been hearing commercials and getting e-mails about Mother's Day. Of course, I thought of my own sweet mother and the memories of my childhood that are precious.
One distinct memory I have in my first five years is the smell of her face. She used Cover Girl makeup and I can remember thinking how soft she was and how sweet she smelled.
Kindergarten was very frightening to me. I remember coming home from school and curling up in my mother's arms in a rocker and making sure I was close to that sweet smell of "my" mother. A little phonograph sat on a stool next to the rocker and she would play a record as she rocked me.
I remember sitting in a big walk-in pantry off of the kitchen and playing by the hour with a cardboard family my mother made me out of poster board. The dad wore a business suit and went to work each day. I had a house (upstairs and downstairs!) where the mom and dad slid into their bed (neat slots) the baby had a nursery and my cardboard oven and refrigerator actually opened! My mom drew the mother in different positions. She might be at the stove, sitting on the couch, dressed in her lovely nightgown and robe ready for bed or pushing her shopping cart. I had a little grocery too, with a chubby butcher who actually had little meats to take in and out of his meat case!
It took time for my mother to make that for me, but she created more in my heart than just a cardboard family. She created a love for her, her values, family with a mother at home and a dad at work. Her afternoon of drawing something for me had big dividends in her life.
Another memory is that of always knowing that my mother was there. If I was playing outside she was just a call away. Sometimes I would run in just to be comforted by seeing her in the kitchen. As a newly married bride I remember walking down to chat with her one day and she wasn't there! I remember wondering what was wrong, or who had got sick! I also remember the little prick of irritation--mom was supposed to be there where she belonged.
When my husband was pastoring in another part of Tennessee we would get newsletters from a Christian legal group educating you on problems that could affect the church. One newsletter was on teenage suicide. This was back in the 80's or early 90's. I remember that it said that over 60% of teens suicide notes faulted the mother for "not being there when I needed you".
Scripture makes it clear that a child left to himself will bring shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15) That word "left" means to send away, to dismiss, to let loose, to give over. Who have we given our children over to so that we can do what we want with our time. The government, a daycare facility, the television, a computer, even our church and its activities or grandma?
Scripture also clearly defines where our lives are to be spent as wives and mothers. (Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 for starters!) It would do us all good to ask how much time we are spending outside of our God-given domain. This time includes the computer and the tv and the telephone--not just the mother that walks out the door to punch a time clock each day. It also includes being a busy beaver in ministry work outside of the doors of your home. Make your home the core of your ministry. There is plenty to do from within its walls that will minister to others. Even one trip a day out of the home can destroy proper priorities in a woman's life.
Remember Superwoman is a figment of someone's very active imagination. Something is going to use up your time and how anyone can find time to do more than her domestic duties that God has given her in His word is beyond me. Something is going to go undone, and it's usually the ones that should be at the top of our list!
Beside the fact that it damages our children (when we find other things more important to us than they are) women are missing so much that cannot be reclaimed and is so wonderfully valuable.
Go buy a little piece of clothesline and string it up at your daughter's height. Buy some little clothespins at the craft store. Pick a warm, sunny day and get her two dishpans and fill one with sudsy water and one with warm rinse water. Help her wash her dolly's clothes and hang them up. You can be the neighbor lady or the grandma of the baby. After they're dry let her help iron them and put them away.
I can promise you that this will be one of those "Mom, do you remember when?" moments in your life.
Take your little boy and go outside and help him make a town in the dirt. Little streets for his trucks and a little field for his tractors. Name his little town with him. Get down on the ground and play with him! He won't forget the day you did that when he is grown.
Women are so busy today chasing valueless things and it breaks my heart. Each generation is showing the loss of their spiritual moorings and I firmly believe that the mama that wore an apron, cooked hot homemade meals for her family, found pride in the white shirt she had neatly pressed for her husband and loved sitting in the evenings reading to her family is why the word of God is being "blasphemed" now instead of revered. (Titus 2:5b)
Let's each one have a "heart to heart" with the Lord and decide that we're going to keep our chicks under our wings. It doesn't take money it takes being there. If this message was taken to heart by the saved women that each one of us know it would revolutionize and revive America. You can't do it for anyone else, but you and I can decide that we individually are going to do it.
It is my prayer that each of my "daughters" and "sisters" that read this will "stand perfect and complete in all his will" (Colossians 4:12) in this area of your life. Let's hold each other up and "pray and obey" together. The dividends are eternal!