Sustaining Grace...

  This is not the next post I had planned.  I had planned on a post about sweethearts, Valentine's Day, etc.  I always get very tender toward my sweetheart in February because we got married in March and the memories begin to run through my heart of the wonderful years the Lord has given me with my husband of almost 37 years!
  The post I am going to write is difficult because it is one where I am going to be open about my weaknesses and that isn't easy for me.  However, I promised myself that when it comes to being someone in leadership (a pastor's wife) I want to be honest about the fact that I have every battle that every other woman has and that I want to wear no masks.  I am simply an older woman who has been down the road a little further which only has taught me how much I desperately need the Lord--not made me better than anyone else.  I do want to take my experience and help others so that perhaps they have less pain and learn to lean on Him a little sooner in life than I did.
  The post I had planned is not going to be written because  life has taken me down another path than I had in my planned for about a week now.  I battle major health issues since I had C. diff and pancreatitis three years ago.  In the last week or so I've been in what I'd call a major flare-up.  I have decided that until the Lord takes me another direction this is His will for my life and I try my best to make my illness one of the details of my life--not my life.  Every once in a while in takes control however, and we're there.
  I also am a victim of chronic depression.  It is not easy to say that, but God's grace has been so sweet to me in this area of my life.  He has taught me year by year how to manage this illness and I praise His name that He has used my life to help others at times. 
  I always have my lowest point in late January and early February.  I know it's going to come and have to remind myself to keep track of the triggers (and avoid as many as possible), to get my sunlight and make myself take walks when it starts.  If you suffer depression you know that's the very last thing you want to do and I remind my husband to not ask me but tell me what to do during this time of the year.  Because of the things I've learned I go through many winters with only mild symptoms instead of being in the bed in despair as I have in previous years.
   This year something caused the depression to go into a major downswing.  I could list about five possible causes so who's to know which one or if it was a combination of all.  Number one on my list is the downswing in my health.  I fight intense pain and when it gets to the point I want to pace I begin to feel hopeless that it will ever end.  The thought of living the rest of my life like this is not a pleasant one and I have to send that thought away and live one day at a time.
   But that's not what this post is about.  This post is about God's goodness and His sustaining grace.  This week I had a day when my body decided it had to have rest and I literally "crashed" into a deep sleep. (No medication involved in case you're wondering.) When I did rouse my unwelcome "friend" was always there with the despair and hopelessness.  And that's when the Lord had my daughter Alicia call to check on me.  I was half awake/half asleep and we were talking. 
   In the midst of a conversation I can't remember fully she asked "Who created emotions?" 
   My reply was, "God."
  Then she said something like this, "Mom, God created sadness, and fear and other emotions that are negative simply to be used as a springboard to make us see our need for Him." 
  My heart gripped that.  That was exactly what the Lord has been faithfully teaching me and He used my precious daughter to remind me of it when I was literally too ill to even think straight enough to turn my heart and mind toward the truths I knew.  I have no faith, no light, no courage of my own and at a time when my heart is trembling, my flesh is failing me, and my mind and emotions are in turmoil and confusion I only have to look to Him to sustain me and minister Himself to me. 
  Then today-- I ended up with four firetrucks at my house because of a problem with our fireplace insert.  We came very close to having a house fire.  The Lord spared us by allowing it to happen during the day and allowing help to come quickly.  We didn't even have serious smoke damage.  However, my already fragile nerves felt like they were literally shot and I could feel the panic trying to rise in me over all the "little foxes" in our lives right now.
  My oldest daughter Niki called this evening and began to talk to me about the Lord not saying He wouldn't put more on us than we could bear when it came to burdens--that text had to do with temptations. She talked about how He allows the unbearable burdens in our lives so we will turn to Him and let Him be our Burden-bearer and sustain us.  He simply uses the burdens to remind us we need Him and can't go through lives without Him.  The same message again--and just when I needed it.
   As we talked once again I could feel the Holy Spirit ministering the truth to me when my mind and emotions were too weary to even think properly.  Once again the Living Water bubbled up inside of me as I thought of Him right there to sustain me with His grace, to bear me up on His wings, to hold underneath me with His everlasting arms and when I can only look He's there for me.
  How thankful I am He has given me two daughters who can minister to their mother.  There is no greater blessing or greater dividend in life than having children that bring you joy in their spiritual walk being healthy.
So tonight, I want to remind you of His wonderful grace.  If you are too weak, too weary, perhaps you sicken yourself with your inability to trust or be courageous, just fall upon Him and look up at Him and let Him minister His life and righteousness and grace to you.  "My flesh  and my heart faileth : but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion  for ever."  Ps. 73:26  He will not fail you, He promises! 

p.s. If you are Niki's friend on Facebook you can read her wonderful essay on this--http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/niki-neal-lott/more-than-we-can-bear/10150133658690159

   

The Wonderful World of Home-Keeping...

I just returned from a wonderful visit to Idaho.  Three glorious weeks with grandchildren, a son and precious daughter-in-law, cooking, baking, playing games, talking and being a family together.  We spent Christmas together for the first time in years and our bonus gift was a brand new granddaughter born on December 15th.  Better than any gift you could wrap up and put under the tree.  Shaelyn Brianne welcome to the Neal family!

(Look closely at the little dress--her Grandma Tami had a wonderful time designing and sewing it! ;)



   When I came home I was almost overwhelmed with all there was to do!  As nice as it was to get all the Christmas things out for the kids before we left it wasn't fun to come home to all those things to put away.  It gave me the strangest feeling that they had all sat here unused during the Christmas holiday.  I know they're inanimate but I felt sorry for them sitting all alone in Tennessee while we celebrated Christmas in Idaho.

   Along with that I had lots and lots of luggage to unload, (Thank you dear Jennibeth for letting me get all the laundry done before I left so I had clean clothes to unpack!)  a house that needed dusted, decluttered (Christmas goodies), and I was battling a setback with my health. Our computer wouldn't boot up and so we were unable to get Cierra back to school.  My camera wouldn't download pictures when it had worked just fine before we left on our trip.  I needed to buy groceries--the cabinets and fridge were depleted.  I felt overwhelmed to say the least. 

   First, I had to run to the Lord and get some spiritual shoring.  That took about three days.  Just reminding myself of His faithfulness and looking at my problems through Him instead of looking at Him through my problems.  (Thank you, Mr. F.B. Meyer.) 

   Then I had to get my handy-dandy notebook out and begin prioritizing and making a daily plan to tackle all that needed done.  I also had to spend two days on the couch and in the bed.(Unplanned --longggg story and a funny one looking back at it!) 

   I had to quote my own little mantra--"Break all large tasks into managable small ones."  With a piece of paper I divided my week up and took those things that needed done and gave them a day.  Today I'm looking at a house that is back to normal.  Not perfect--just back to normal.

    I had to give my days to the Lord and laugh when an unexpected visit on a day when I was trying to get a lot done got a prayer answered concerning the computer problem! 

   I had to remember to look to Him to meet my every need on a daily basis.  Another wonderful laugh when the Lord sent the neighbor lady with a ham that she said she wasn't begin to eat  by herself so she'd taken off what she wanted and brought us the rest.  We are finishing it off in a big kettle of pinto beans tonight.  It fed us a total of five meals!!  Thank You Lord for the ravens!  Pretty much all we had to buy at the store this week was bread,some vegetables, margarine and milk.

   After seeing the Lord take all my worries and reduce them from mountains to molehills I was able to relax.  So I got out a book that my daughter Niki gave me on Mother's Day of 2006.   I love to read it at the beginning of each year.  It is called "Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Instrustions for Homekeeping".  It is written as though a mother of the Civil War period is writing her children with instructions on keeping a home.  

   Her first chapter is about the art of homekeeping.  She discusses  the importance of order and talks about keeping a "homekeeping notebook".  As I've surfed blogland I'm seeing all the talk about organizing.  This book is taken from excerpts from women's notes from the late 1800's and it looks like the talk hasn't changed much!  The sweet thing about this book is that she sees homekeeping as a woman's main duty.
  She says "Order is the mainspring in housework."  Then she gives a domestic calendar to follow.  She was the "Flylady" of her day! :) 
   Her suggestions for "Planning a Superior Day" consist of
1)  "Make a plan for your day."  This doesn't require much explanation.  Fail to plan and you've planned to fail.
2)  "Concentrate."  Basically, keep your mind on the chore at hand and you'll get it done.
3)  "Learn to rest and catch your breath."  Taking a break makes you ready to hit the work again.  Rather it's 15 minutes or taking a day away from it all if you've learned to do this you know it is true.
 4)  "Don't Procrastinate ."  Sometimes the chore we've put off is a chore than only takes a few minutes.  To hit it and get it done takes an emotional load off of us along with the load of the chore.  If you're dreading it move it to the top of the list and get it behind you.
 5)  "Sift and sort."  Prioritize your day!  If it needs immediate attention than do it.  If it can wait till the evening in your chair in the living room put it at the bottom of the list. 
6)Strive for excellence, not perfection. 
7.  "Never lose sight of the big picture."  People are more important than projects.  And as I once heard someone wisely say--"The castle is no more important than the king who lives therein."

  I've just begun making my own laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent but Mrs. Dunwoody has all the cleaning solutions you might want to find in her second chapter along with wonderful advice.  I remember using mostly vinegar and ammonia when Gary first went into full-time service.  I also remember my mother telling me if all I had was warm water to mop my floors anyway because I would know I was using what I had.  Thank you, sweet mother!
   Some of the wonderful advice in her second chapter includes cleaning suggestions, how to miter a sheet corner, getting rid of those unwanted guests (she knew cockroaches didn't like Borax!), and even the advice that mice don't like peppermint extract! 
  Her next chapter is on laundry, mending, etc....lots of good advice!   As a lover of linens I enjoy reading this because you can tell the women of her day loved a table spread with lovely linens.  I love reading a book that makes having them and caring for them seem a wonderful blessing and joy!  These types of books are my friends, my "aged woman" reminding me that homekeeping is a gift-a wonderful, varied career choice that has God's stamp of approval on it for me.
   The next chapter is recipes and kitchen ideas.  One of my favorite things in this chapter is her advice on how to season a cast iron skillet.  Everyone should own one and use one.  It will keep you and your family from being anemic!
   Chapter 5 is on the art of entertaining.  I love the whole chapter.  Diagrams for setting tables for different types of suppers, holiday entertaining, and sage advice on how to "Dine--not to Eat".
  The following chapters are on health and beauty, marriage and family, the garden and final remarks.  The pages have some pithy little statements by Aunt Mary Middle that make you laugh (like "My idea of house cleaning is to sweep the room with a glance.") and excerpts from Godey's Lady's Book from the 1860's that make you wish we still had magazines like that being published for the general public, and other wonderful things that make you glad you're a keeper at home.
  Although I love reading the blogs at this time of year and gleaning new ideas for our home I love my dear friends the books more.  They have sustained me during my marriage years and lifted me up by my bootstraps when I was on a pity party more than once!
  I pray as we enter this new year that you are drawing all your strength from the Lord and looking at 2011 as the year that you are a better child of God, wife, mother, daughter, and woman than you've ever been in your life.  God bless each one of you! 

Christmastide...

 

I truly believe the song line that says "It's the most wonderful time of the year..".  I love the season of Christmas.  I begin celebrating before Thanksgiving but I keep it a secret because my husband doesn't want to hear a peep about Christmas till after Thanksgiving!
  This year I told the children that between the fact that I wasn't even sure where our Christmas decorations were and that we were going to be gone part of the Christmas season we were only going to get out the tree and decorate it and nothing else.
  Well, Gary and the kids brought down the boxes from the attic and as we went through them it was, "Oh, we've got got get out the nativity set, Mom." and "Aren't you going to put the snow village out." and "You know every year you decorate the cabinet." and "Whose going to kill any mice we might get during Christmas if the nutcrackers aren't out?"  Being the very-sentimental woman that I am the next thing you know I had everything out except one box of snowmen I couldn't find!  So much for not getting anything out but the Christmas tree items.  I have to admit when I sit at night and look at it all I'm very glad I didn't listen to myself!
  And what is my personal favorite?  Well, I love the nutcrackers.  Asher loved them when he was little and one at a time they showed up as gifts for him from his grandparents.  The only one that doesn't belong to him is the mouse king.  He showed up on the last day of the pocket calendar as a grand finale a couple years ago. 
  We love the story of the nutcracker and our cartoon version is just about my favorite Christmas movie.  Every year if we get a mouse in the house during the Christmas season it shows up dead at the feet of our nutcrackers--but the nutcrackers are not my favorite Christmas decoration.
  I love the pocket calendar.  It began when the older children were little.  I made a homely little pocket calendar with 25 pockets and each day a little surprise or promise note showed up in the pocket.  It was put there by Ralph our resident Christmas elf.  He has been known to fix toys, hide treats and generally be a true fun friend to have in the house for the month of December.  Alicia was certain when she was little that she saw him moving through  the branches of our Christmas tree.  I really think she still is a firm believer in Ralph! :)  But the pocket calendar isn't my favorite Christmas decoration!
  I also love my Hoosier cabinet decorations.  It started with just a few and grew till the whole cabinet top was filled with Christmas each year.  One year I thought it was a little too much and decided I wasn't going to do the cabinet any more.  Alicia was already married but let me know that it wouldn't be Christmas without the cabinet being decorated-so it still is.  However, the cabinet is not my personal favorite.

   I love the snow village.  It is made up of little houses that are mostly from thrift stores and Big Lots and Dollar General stores.  We have more than one church with little carolers in front of them.  (The ones at the nicer church look a little uppity to me in their choir robes!)  We have a banker stepping out of the bank looking at his watch.  (We call him Jimmy. :)  We have a barn and it front of it are men working on cutting wood and blacksmithing.  We have a toy store, a post office, and a fire house.  We love them all and call it Nealville.  However, the snow village is not my favorite decoration.

   I love all my cozy kitchen decorations.  I have a swag with antique ornaments attached with homespun, lots of cute little snowmen, little children that sit in my kitchen window decorated in red and green, and lots of snowmen but these aren't my favorite Christmas decorations.



  My very, very favorite decoration is our nativity set.  It is composed of cheap, not-so-cheap and Fontanini.  Mary and Joseph have a home made from foam core and Bethlehem's barn is a book given to me when our older children were very little.  However, I love it because it is the theme of the month for me.
  It begins with Nazareth which is in my living room right now behind my chair.  During the move the floor disappeared so this year their home is extremely shabby, but they don't care.  One day a Roman soldier shows up to their little home and leaves a notice from Caesar on their door--they must go to be taxed.  So they put a bedroll on their donkey and begin the long trek across the living room to Bethlehem. (Which is in the kitchen this year.)

  Bethlehem is on the dry sink in the kitchen and is made up of a stable, a large star (that doesn't light up till Christmas Eve), a shop keeper, soldiers, some residents, a palm tree and animals.  The manger is empty and stays that way till Christmas Eve.  Nearby is a hilly area with shepherds watching their sheep by their campfires. 



  I love it when they all end up gathered around the newborn Jesus and the star is shining above it all.  How perfect.  The wise men even show up to worship even though I am fully aware their timing is off when compared to the Bible.  But we can't keep the nativity set out long enough to let them do it accurately!

   So far this Christmas season we've had all our hearts could desire and more.  It has snowed and given us a picture postcard yard for one day, I've been able to bake and play in the kitchen, I've been enjoying creating little gifts for my loved ones, have been able to smock a beautiful new dress for my latest grandchild who is coming to join us December 15th and have even stayed on track in working ahead in school so we're not behind when we come home from our trip!  Thank You Lord for all Your blessings and help!

 

   And just to think--this is just the beginning of this wonderful season!  I am looking forward to the many things we still have to do.   We're taking my mother-in-law to see the lights in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg and visit Hammers Dept. Store, we're going to be making a trip as a family to see my Idaho grandbabies and our newest little granddaughter, I still have lots of ideas floating around in my head that I hope I have time to carry out, cookies and candies to make, wonderful once-a-year food to cook and Christmas books to read and movies to view. 

  Above all, it's a time to thank the Lord for coming to earth in human form that He might save us from our sins!  Thank You, thank You, thank You!

  I pray that you're having a wonderful holiday season and savoring every sight, smell, future memory, and every moment with your loved ones.  May God bless each one of you and grant you a Christ-filled, joyous holiday season.

With love,

Mom

Thanksgiving is almost here...

  I love the entire holiday season and my husband loves the holiday that is coming up next week-Thanksgiving.   Because he loves it so I love to make Thanksgiving extra special for him.  This Thanksgiving we're going to have our oldest daughter Niki, her husband Brian and their two little ones with us, my dad and  Lela and her daughter Esther and Uncle Mike (Shockley) with us.  I'll love every moment of it.  (Though I wish I could blink and have every child and grandchild gathered into my kitchen.)
   We have the old faithful recipes that we cannot imagine a holiday dinner without---Turkey and dressing, Swiss Medley, Sweet Potato Casserole, Baked Macaroni and Cheese, Cheeseball and crackers, hot rolls, pecan pie and some kind of cheesecake for dessert. (This year is a toss up trying to decide between Pumpkin Praline and Reese Cup Cheesecake.) 
  I also like to try something new each year.  This year I'm trying two new recipes.  My pecan pie is going to be a chocolate pecan pie.  Esther brought me some really, really nice Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips and I decided to use one bag for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas.  So they're going to find their way into a chocolate pecan pie.  Then I found a recipe for some Cranberry Crumb Bars that sounds wonderful and very Thanksgiving-ish so I'm trying them.  Have to make lots of desserts so I can share!
  So how about an old recipe and a new recipe?  For the old I'm going to give you the Sweet Potato Casserole.  I'm sure many of you have had it since it's a Southern recipe, but till I moved south I had only had the sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top and I took just enough to be polite.  But when I tasted this one I was hooked, begged for the recipe shamelessly and made everyone that came to my house try it if it was on the table.  I've had more than one person that swore they hated sweet potatoes decide they hated sweet potatoes and loved this casserole and had one person tell me that if it wasn't bad manners they'd lick the pan when it was gone!  So here's my sweet potato casserole recipe given to me back in 1987!

SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE
3 cups mashed sweet potatoes
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup margarine
Mix well.  Pour into shallow buttered casserole. (I use a 9x13 pan.)
Topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup chopped nuts
1/3 cup margarine
  Blend flour and sugar well and sprinkle on top.  Mix nuts and butter and sprinkle on top.
  (I mix all of the ingredients into one bowl instead of doing it separately like the recipe says.)  Bake at 350
degrees for 30 minutes.
I usually make this the day ahead and store it in the fridge so all I have to do is pop it in the oven.  I usually set it out in the morning and let it get to room temperature.  If not you have to give it a little extra baking time!

Now for my new recipe this year:

CRANBERRY CRUMB BARS
1 1/2 cups flour
1/3 cup powdered sugar
3/4 cup cold margarine
Filling:
1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1 can (14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 T. corn starch
1 T. brown sugar
1 can (16 oz.) whole berry cranberry sauce
Topping:
1/3 cup flour
2 T. brown sugar
1/4 cup cold butter or margarine
3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts (I'm going to use pecans.)
  In bowl, combine flour and powdered sugar, cut in the butter until crumbly..  Press in a 9x13 pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until light brown.  Reduce oven heat to 325 degrees.
   In bowl, beat cream cheese till smooth.  Add milk and lemon juice; mix well. Pour over crust.
   In bowl, combine corn starch and brown sugar.  Stir in cranberry sauce till combined.  Spoon over cream cheese layer.
   For topping, combine flour and brown sugar.  Cut in butter.  Fold in nuts.  Sprinkle over filling.
  Bake at 325 degrees for 40-45 minutes till topping is golden brown.  Cool on wire rack.  Cover and chill for 3 hours before cutting.  Yield: 12-15 servings. 
  I think they sound (and they looked) yummy!  If my 55 year old brain can retain this thought, I'll try to post pictures of both of these after Thanksgiving! 
  I am so thankful for the Lord's tender care of me all these years, I'm thankful for the wonderful, wonderful marriage He's given me, the children He gave us and then the bonus children He gave us, for giving me faith to believe Him and to trust His word, for the new truths He gives me every day in His word.
  I've been thinking of other things this last couple weeks...I've thought so much of my children and all they've taught me, for the blessing of seeing my grown children in church and serving the Lord with all their hearts, for the blessing of seeing my grandchildren receive Christ as their Saviour, I've thought of my brother and sisters and how precious they are to me and what wonderful memories I have of my life with them, of my nieces and nephews and just little snippets of memories have come floating back, (like MaryBeth staying with me after my foot surgery to help me), I've thought of so many people that have been used of the Lord to refresh Gary and I spiritually at just the right time, of my parents and my in-laws, of friends who have remained faithful to us through the years and the list could go on and on and on....
  I read aloud to our children at breakfast this week Abraham Lincoln's proclamation http://www.classicallibrary.org/lincoln/thanksgiving.htm   concerning Thanksgiving.  In it he makes sure the people know it is God who they had to thank for their blessings and God who they should fear for His judgment on our nation (the Civil War) for their unfaithfulness to Him. He recommended thanksgiving and repentance as a nation.  My, can you imagine what would happen today if a president made a proclamation like that? 
  It made me want to search my own heart for any idols or any lack of fear and reverence for a very real Almighty God. 
  As we enter Thanksgiving week, I pray that we all will recount our blessings before God and give Him thanks and that we all will search our hearts and ask Him to grant us repentance where we lack giving Him credit and thanks where they are due.  May each and every one of you have a wonderful Christ-honoring Thankgiving Day!
With love,
Mom

The Fall Season in the Interim of Our Lives...

  Well, here we are living in a "between" home during the holidays.  My husband is between pastorates and so we're living in a rented home.  It's absolutely perfect for us and I thank the Lord every day for giving us such a wonderful home to live in during this interim of our lives. 
  We have always lived in a parsonage and so we've never owned a home.  In our early days of ministry that bothered me a little but as I grew in years and in my spiritual life I began to see it as a blessing in our lives.  Then the Lord gave me a wonderful verse about being a "parsonage dweller".
" And they lodged round about the house of God, because the charge was upon them, and the opening thereof every morning pertained to them. " (I Chron. 9:27)
  Since the Lord gave me that verse I have been very content with my home wherever the Lord might put me.  At this point He has us in a holding pattern in our lives until He gives us new and clear direction.  Needless to say this has altered our life and that includes the holiday period of our lives.
  I'm a true traditionalist.  I love things to be the same so my children and family look back and can say, "Do you remember how mom (Grandma, Aunt Tami, or whatever name fits) always made this or did this during the holidays?
  I also know that flexibility is good too.  This year I couldn't have found all my fall decorations if I tried so I decided to use nature and whatever else the Lord sent my way.  I won a little engraved pumpkin and a candle as prizes at the Wings Conference and the kids and I gathered acorns and pinecones from our yard.   I have a beautiful fireplace mantel and I wanted to decorate it for fall and little by little it was filled with beautiful fall decor. 

  Since I took this picture the Lord even added a beautiful fall vine with berries and leaves and a sign that says "Give Thanks".  My husband and children have all mentioned how pretty the mantel looks.  Thank You Lord!
   This time of year I feel an excitement building up in me.  It's time for the holidays.  I can't resist getting the cookbooks out and while we sit in the living room watching a movie I'm marking the ones I want to try to make.  This year for Thanksgiving I decided we'd have to have the pumpkin cake I made at Jennibeth's house when we spent Thanksgiving with them.
  It was after Thanksgiving and she and I were wanting to make a dessert but we'd about emptied the pantry out for Thanksgiving.  We went scavengering and found a can of pumpkin.  I'd gone through some of her cookbooks and found a recipe that called for just flour, sugar, eggs, pumpkin and spices so that was the choice.  It called for cream cheese frosting and we didn't have cream cheese so I made cooked caramel (I call it penuche but nobody knows what that is) frosting on it.  Oh, my goodness!  It was SO good and became a Thanksgiving keeper at the Neals!
    Here's the recipe:
PUMPKIN CAKE
2 cups sugar
1 cup oil
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups pumpkin
2 cups flour, sifted
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
4 tsp. cinnamon
   Combine sugar and oil.  Add eggs separately, beating well to combine.  Add flour, soda, salt and cinnamon to sugar mixture.  Blend thoroughly.  Bake at 325 degrees for 25 minutes in pans which have been greased and floured.  Makes three (3) 9" round layers.

Now for the frosting.
COOKED CARAMEL FROSTING (EASY PENUCHE FROSTING)
(For this cake I use a double recipe.  You can double it if you want, but you'll need a strong arm or a helper in the beating stage! :)

1/2 cup margarine or butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
1/4 cup milk
2 cups powdered sugar

Melt butter or margarine in saucepan.  Stir in brown sugar.  Heat to boiling, stirring constantly.  Boil and stir over low heat for 2 minutes.  Stir in milk; heat to boiling.  Remove from heat and cool to lukewarm.
Gradually stir in powdered sugar.  Place pan of frosting in bowl of ice and water; beat until its of spreading consistency.  If frosting becomes too stiff just heat slightly stirring constantly.

  This is a wonderful three layer cake!  The one in the picture has an extra batch of icing on it.  (I do one batch for the layers and 1 1/2 batches for the outside because our family likes lots of the icing! )
  I have a little recipe holder with all my very favorite holiday recipes in it.  Our Christmas punch recipe, cheeseball recipes, spinach dip, sausage bites, baked macaroni and cheese, Swiss medley (a wonderful full-of-cheese side  dish with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, mushroom soup, sour cream and Durkees onions), sweet potato casserole that a died-in-the-wool sweet potato hater will love, all my specialty cheesecake recipes, peanut butter pie, every truffle and fudge recipe you can imagine and the list goes on and on and on in it.  My head is already dancing with new ideas to try this year.  Can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.  I have a new cake ball truffle recipe I wanted to try and someone already brought me some dark chocolate chips they found on clearance.  They're tucked back to become truffles!
  Because of my love of cooking I like to use fall/holiday baking as an excuse to stop by the neighbors with a pie pan full of goodies and a chance to talk to them.  We have a couple near us with failing health and I so want the Lord to use us in their lives.  I love it when you knock on a neighbor's door and you can see genuine happiness in their eyes when they open the door and see you standing there.  It's also an opportunity to teach our children to help others around us. 
  John asked me the other day when I was going to be taking the neighbors some goodies and I told him probably this week.  He said, "Can we take some to the neighbors with the new kittens, because maybe they'll let me see them when we go!"  That struck my funny bone!
  We're going to have Brian and Niki with Halle and Evan for Thanksgiving this year and I'm so excited about that.  I like a FULL dining room table.  The more I have at the table the happier I am!  Niki and I are already talking about what we want to have.  She's planning on bringing a new pie recipe she found and I'm planning on--well, I can't make up my mind!  Too many good things to choose from!
  I also am working on Christmas projects this year.  The main one that I'm working on is making little nurse's costumes for the little girls in my life.  When Niki and Alicia were little my mom made them a nurse's apron and then I made them little hats out of paper.  Every time someone got sick at our house we made the couch up into a hospital bed, stuck the humidifier next to the couch (sometimes complete with tent) and the girls became nurses.
  Mike Shockley says his first memory of my girls was coming into the house to visit us and one of the boys was sick.  He said he remember Niki and Alicia running around in their little nurses costumes and bringing them their needs on a cookie sheet with a tea towel over it.  (All meals were served in the hospital bed when you were sick.)  They loved being nurses! 
  So maybe it's memory lane for me but I wanted to make the granddaughters their own nurses costume.  My pattern is a really old one but it's so cute.  On the cover the little girl has a white turtleneck on and white tights so she looks like the old-fashioned nurse of my childhood that's dressed in all white.  I have Halle's all done but getting the waist and hat fit to her perfect size.  They're quick to sew and take very little fabric.  That's good for the budget!

  

So tonight I'm listening to Old Fashioned Christian Radio, and thinking about the wonderful blessings of a sweet Christian home, good food, the wonder of fall sunsets, leaves crunching under your feet, having the blessing of grown children, grandchildren and children still around me to fellowship with each and every day, the joy of being a woman, wife, mother and grandmother and so many, many other blessings.  How can we begin to thank the Lord for his daily benefits! 

  I pray you're having a wonderful fall season and that your walk with the Lord is real and personal.  May God bless you all!

With love,

Mom



  
 

Stretching the Budget Dollars....

   It seems everyone is feeling the crunch financially these days.  We have always lived on a reasonably tight budget simply because we have made a choice to live debt-free.  However, right now my husband is between pastorates and only working a part time job and so we've had to tighten up the belt several notches.
  Let me say right here how thankful I am for parents who raised me with a different set of values than most people live by.  We learned early in life that eternal values were those that were the most important.  We also learned that relationships (beginning with our relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ as our Saviour) were far more important than anything tangible in our lives.   The older I get the more grateful I am for these important truths that were ingrained into my heart and life.  It allows me to see that those things with eternal values are what really, really matters.
   I also am thankful for learning that some of the most enjoyable things in life are free!  I love watching children play, I love sitting and watching the rain come down while I sit on my porch and drink coffee.  My mom taught me to enjoy watching people.  I can have a wonderful time sitting in a vehicle waiting on my husband and mentally sketching people or guessing their names, occupations or guessing their personality type.  I love bathing babies, telling stories, listening to stories or simply reading a book.  I love nature.  I love....and the list could go on and on with things that cost nothing!
  So with all that said, life still goes on.  We have to wash clothes, buy groceries, clothe our families, and pay the bills!  When the belt does needed tightened what are some ways we can help our families to make it with the least amount of pain?
   One of the major expenses is food so I want to talk about that first.  Years ago I heard a radio program where they talked about how much food is wasted in America.  I was astounded by the statistics.  The current amount of food that is wasted in America is estimated to be 100 billion pounds of food per year.  Is is estimated that 14% of the food Americans purchase is wasted.  The average American family throws out $590 worth of food each year.  This is just food in the homes and doesn't include grocery store waste or restaurant waste.  I stood in my living room after hearing that program and prayed to the Lord telling Him that if He would send us food that was going to be wasted we would use it.  He has never failed to answer that prayer to this day.  Much of our food is from what others planned on throwing away or from a grocery store like UGO that deals with what is about to go out of date or is the overflow of other stores.
  So, first make it a matter of prayer. 
  Second, cook from scratch.  When you buy anything precooked or premade you are wasting money.  It only takes minutes to put together food from scratch.  I read a book once and she gave price comparisons of pre-made food and food from scratch in price and time.  I assure you people who don't cook from scratch are spending a lot of money and not gaining much in time.
  Third, make more casseroles, soups and foods that have meat in them but the entree isn't made entirely of meat.  When we have been the tightest financially I have doubled the non-meat part of a casserole and reduced the meat part.  My family didn't notice.
This includes soups, etc.  You can even make one non-meat meal per week and save.  Meat is one of the major expenses in the food budget and we in the Western world eat too much meat.  You can make baked beans with hot dogs in them along with corn bread and a green veggie and voila!-- a meal.  You can make chicken and noodles, au gratin potatoes with ham pieces in them, pinto beans, green beans with potatoes and sliced link sausage, pot pies, stir fry and Chicken A La King,  and make a little meat go a long, long way.  Need recipes?   Find your basic recipe and then learn to stretch it!
  I have even made some really good dinners just scavengering my fridge and mixing them together and ending up with a good meal from leftovers in the fridge.  I call them "Desperation Dinners".  Twice I've been asked for my recipe and told the person "I couldn't give it to you if I tried". 
  Fourth, reduce waste in your own kitchen.  If you have a few vegetables left and don't think they'll get eaten throw them into a quart jar and freeze them.  Later you can put them in your homemade vegetable soup.  Learn to eat up your leftovers.  Take bread heels and leftover rolls and put them in a freezer bag.  Use them later for overnight breakfast casserole or the stuffing for Thanksgiving Day.  I even have a really good crockpot recipe for chicken and stuffing where those old bread scraps come in mighty handy.  Some of the recipes that have been glorified today by Food Network are really recipes that came from our grandmothers depression days.  My mother said Bread Pudding and Rice Pudding were both recipes to use up the leftover day old bread and leftover rice. 
  If you haven't canned or frozen food before you might want to learn in case someone gives you their extra bumper crop of zucchini or even corn.  I've actually canned an entire freezer of food someone gave me.  Their freezer had broken down and the food had thawed.  They planned to throw it away.  I canned fish and beef both from that freezer load of food!
  Reuse your storage bags (unless meat was stored in them) by giving them a scrub in hot dish water and drying them over glasses on your counter.  Give up paper plates and paper towels for a while.  I promise it won't kill you.  You can memorize scripture or pray while you wash the extra dishes.  No one will bother you as you do it!
  Fifth,  learn who has the best prices.  I keep a small notebook in my purse where I keep the prices of things we commonly  buy.  WalMart used to have a corner on the market in many areas.  I now buy more things at Kroger as they have become cheaper than WalMart on many, many items.  We buy much of our milk at Save-A-Lot because the first gallon is much cheaper there.  We make a weekly trip to UGO and find prices on canned goods that can't be beat.  I check the ads each week.  We buy only Scott toilet paper when it's on sale at KMart or Dollar General Store. (Try it one time and compare how long it lasts next to any other brand and you'll be sold.)   I now make my own laundry detergent at such a savings that I couldn't begin to compare it with the cheapest laundry detergent out there!
  If I have to I can feed our family for a week on a very, very small amount of money.  I'm thankful for the help the Lord has given me in doing this.
Next, ask yourself where the leak is in your budget.  How many times do you go to town each week?  How much are you spending on eating out or entertainment?  Have a family night at home and get out those old-fashioned board games and make homemade pizza versus expensive delivered or freezer section pizza.  Just making the pizza can be half of the fun! 
  We have never owned more than one vehicle as a family.  (unless my children owned one--I'm talking about one for hubby and one for me.)  This has saved us an enormous amount of money.  Just the license, insurance, maintenance, gas cost, etc. is a large chunk of change.  Some people can't even imagine this but I've asked my husband to make sure there isn't an extra car out there to tempt me to run around when I'm supposed to be at home!  I've never felt cheated--I've got too much to do here anyway!
   Now to clothing.  Years ago I was very embarrassed by my clothing and my shoes.  My husband was in the early years of ministry and we had four children under the age of five.  Most of our budget paid the bills and when I had clothing money it went on the children's needs.  Then I learned to give my wardrobe to the Lord and let Him supply it.  Didn't He say to seek Him and His righteousness first and all these things would be added to us? (Matt. 6)  Well, it works!
  I can't begin to tell all the wonderful treats He has given me.  If He can clothe the grass of the field and make beautiful flowers He can take care of me!  The other day I was looking at my wardrobe and realizing that much of it had been given to me in what others would call rag bags.  I also had found wonderful deals on some of my favorite clothes. 
  Now I'm not what you'd call "into" clothes.  My husband actually picks out more of my clothes than I do or insists I buy them when I want to go to JoAnn's fabric and buy another piece of fabric to make a grandchild something new however, I'm not ashamed of what the Lord has given me.
  I am a seamstress but in the last few years I've found you can get as much into sewing adult clothing as buying it on sale or finding a gently used piece at a thrift store.  With that said, I believe you should learn to sew.  Basics if nothing else so you can "refashion" something you found at Goodwill. 
  Learn to shop thrift stores, learn to look at an article of clothing and ask if just a small alteration would make it something you'd love.  Learn to shop at the end of the season in the store--you usually have plenty of season left when they're trying to get rid of them.  Learn to shop in stores like Ross where you can get brand name clothing for a fraction of the full price.  Learn what to invest in financially and what to only buy the cheap line.
   I love having lined skirts (pencil skirts) for dress up.  I have paid more for them because a good lined skirt will last years and years.  If something is more of a fad and is going to be out of style shortly I would be looking at a cheap department store for what I'm wanting.
  We live in a town with probably six to seven thrift stores.  I recently found Cierra three camisole tops to wear under her long sleeved tops for 50 cents each!  They look brand new but they were considered summer. 
  There are many wonderful blogs on refashioning clothes and I know from experience some of the best pieces of fabric I got to use on children's clothings were from larger ready made outfits given to us.  Cierra's first dress I made her was darling.  It was from a piece of leftover fabric with a built in slip made from an old bedsheet! 
   One of my favorite tips I've used for years was to take my old hose that had one leg with a runner and save it.  I tie a knot in the leg that has the runner and put it in my underclothing drawer.  Then when the next pair gets a runner in just one leg I take out both pair and cut off the bad leg leaving the panty part on both pair of hose.  I put them together (it has two pair of panties to it) and I have a new pair of hose.  Make your hose last twice as long!
   These are just a few of the things I've learned through the years but they've sure come in handy when times were tough.  Something interesting is that our children never have really known when we were having a tough time.  Now we've had a few times they knew because of what was on the table. 
 On the whole, however,  they didn't know that when we were pretending we were living in the Great Depression and I was hanging all my clothes on clothes lines in the basement and we used oil lamps I really was pinching my household pennies till they cried with the pain!  We made the most wonderful memories and saved money all at the same time.
    My grandma wasted nothing.  She washed her plastic wrap and reused it.  She saved every tiny piece of thread from sewing and put it on a spool for mending.  She counted how many times the toilet was flushed and knew how much water was being used.  She used a timer with every long distance phone call.  I asked her why she was so careful with all she had and she said, "I lived through the depression with small children to care for."
  I remember my Grandmother Mettler talking to Niki about the Great Depression when Niki had to write a report about it.  She made the comment that the entire time she never saw money exchange hands.  She said you learned to trade your goods and services for what you needed.  She also said that people became very creative during hard times.  She would talk of the beautiful little toys her mother-in-law made for the children from cardboard, pieces of scrap wood and even corn cobs!  She said that going through tough times together would make your relationship stronger when you got through them and that you would look back to those times as some of the best times in your life.  A-men Grandma.   With the right attitude and some Yankee ingenuity (even if your a Southerner:)
it can be a time when you learn to appreciate what you have and make some sweet memories. 
  Have any tips?  I'd love to hear them!  Tough times don't have to be sad times!  I pray you'll turn to your Heavenly Father and ask for wisdom and help and then use what He's given you as a wise steward.  Let's all bring Him glory in whatever state we are in!

Let's Talk About Stress...

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:  and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."  (Matthew 11:28-30)

Dear Daughters,
  Stress is a very real part of all of our lives.  For some reason it seems that more and more people are breaking beneath the load---Christians included.  My heart goes out for the many young women I talk to that are overwhelmed and burdened with their load. 
  You see, I know first-hand what it means to "break" under the load.  I was a happy, fulfilled wife and mother.  I was a pastor's wife with a church that was growing, people getting saved and many wonderful things happening in our lives when I broke under the load I was carrying.  It took about 12 years of leaning on my Beloved in the darkness before my healing was complete.  My post-depression verse is "Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?"  (Song of Solomon 8:5a)
  So, what is my advice to young wives and mothers busy trying to serve the Lord and be active for the Lord when they think they're about to snap?  Listen closely dears, and I pray that you'll either not become as wounded as I did or that if you are already broken the Lord will use me as an instrument for His healing in your life.

1.) Don't confuse work with worship.
   Before my husband took his first pastorate he was an assistant pastor.  We were very active in our local church, we had four small children (ages 5-10) and we were living on a meager salary of $125 per week.  I was absolutely full of joy and delighted in the Lord and my Christian life and walk each day.  This was at a time when if you had looked at our life you would have wondered how!  We literally had to pray in our gas money, food money and bill money every week. 
  My walk with the Lord was so very, very sweet.  He was my Best Friend, my Confidante, and had my utter dependence.  I spent time in the word of God daily just enjoying it and letting it feed me.
  When my husband took the pastorate everything was much better for us financially.  We actually had plenty of money to pay bills and buy the children clothing.  I can remember being brought to tears because I had enough of the "essential" clothing for myself for the first time in years.
  With the pastorate came all kinds of new duties for me.  It seemed everything I asked about that wasn't being done my answer was "the pastor's wife does that".   I was the church secretary, Jr. Church teacher, did all the bulletin boards, coordinated all church activities, did the missions board along with many other duties I hadn't had before. Looking back it would have been better left undone that my trying to do it all but I didn't.  I was afraid it would look bad. 
   I had been homeschooling our youngest but now I was schooling all four.   My husband's duties had grown so I had more to do for him.  I had lots of company on a regular basis and bunked them and fed them!
   Although I didn't realize it at the time I became a Martha instead of a Mary.  I had lots of busy "church activities" in my life that were visible to all but it took something precious from me to be so busy at work for the Lord--my Mary life.
  Did I read my Bible and pray? Yes, but it wasn't the same.  It wasn't that sitting at His feet and soaking up His presence, praying as I laundered, praying as I did dishes, memorizing His word as I did dishes, spending time just talking to Him.  Instead it was hurried and became almost a rote listing of my prayer requests.  More and more I was apologizing to Him for not spending as much time with Him as I should be spending and found myself just counting the chapters that I'd read to make sure I was on track with my "daily Bible reading".
  At the same time I was fighting some major spiritual battles and seeing some wonderful victories.  However, fighting spiritual battles draws from you and I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with things that were stressful that never had been that traumatic to me. 
  Then there came the day that I crashed emotionally.  No one around me but my husband knew about it at first but as time went on and I became worse and worse my children found out and then my family.  I withdrew more and more as my emotional state worsened.  My illness did some major damage to our home, our children and my husband's pastorate.  I no longer was even able to carefully "watch" over the spiritual welfare of my family.  My only prayer was "Help me."
   We still live with some of the aftereffects today as a family.  I ask the Lord to use it for His glory however He chooses and that is one of the reasons I'm writing this.  WHATEVER you do, don't trade being busy serving the Lord as your worship of the Lord.  Should we be busy for the Lord? --yes, yes, yes! but that takes us to the next point.
  Spending time with the Lord is something we choose--Jesus Himself said to Martha, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  But one thing is needful:  and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."  Give the Lord His time--worship Him daily.

2.  Live by design and by priority.
  Do you know why I write this blog?  I have become (not that I always like this) an older woman.  Titus calls it an aged woman. (See Titus 2:1-5)  I am told to teach the younger women certain things in the word of God.  That's why I take the time to do it.  I see young women with different levels of frustration and my heart yearns to get them to the point where they can find joy in what they're doing.  Life doesn't give us a second round and if many of our frustrations are easily resolved then I want to see them resolved for young women.
   Do you know why God made you as a woman?  Do you know your Biblical role?  Do you know what God wants you to give your attention to and what He designed for you not to give your attention to?
Let's just look at Titus 2:4.  First young women are to be sober.  That's being serious about what we need to be serious about.  Your spiritual well-being is serious.  Second to love their husbands, then to love their children, then to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good obedient to their own husbands.  Why?  That the word of God be not blasphemed.
  Now out of that list can you find things that require your personal attention that would consume time?  Husbands?  Children?  A home?
  Could we make a priority list here?
    First, give the Lord the proper attention.  Talk to Him, spend time with Him, confide in Him first, pour every trial, tear and trouble into His ear and then TRUST Him to supply your every need.  Your spiritual needs, your emotional needs and your physical needs.  Don't tell another soul till you've confided in Him and asked Him to help you stand perfect and complete in all His will in the situation.  Then trust Him to do it in you and for you.
  Second, give your husband the attention he needs.  Now much of this overlaps.  Husbands need their clothes laundered and their meals cooked and a nice clean home to live in but most of all your husband needs you to give him your love, loyalty and to run his home and raise his children in a way that honors his wishes for a home.  We know what our husband wants (spoken and unspoken) and we should yield our will to his will.  Each and every desire he has that is not a sin we should be doing our best to give him. 
   There were several activities my husband felt were unnecessary but I was afraid what people would think if I didn't do them and I ignored what he wanted.  Although I've asked him to forgive me I still live with the fruit of not honoring his wishes.
  Also, let your husband carry out his God-given role and you carry out yours.  You are not loving your husband when you take on the role of bread-winner.  If we're to trust the Lord with all and all then we must trust the Lord to lead our lives and meet our needs through our  mate.  God says that the man is to provide for his family and if he doesn't he is worse than an infidel.  Don't think you're loving him by going out and getting a job in the world so you can pay the bills.  You're not his mother--you're his sweetheart.  You're not the other man in the house--you're the one he is to cherish and care for.  Let him.
  Today's young woman seems to be getting her role model from the world and the media.  They are a facade.  They put the woman in the man's world carrying out the man's role and make her look very successful at it.  That is not true.  Sit at a counseling table for any time at all and you'll find women are miserable trying to be men.  God has a design and when we don't carry out things according to His design they break!  Love your husband enough to let him be the man and you concentrate on being the woman--according to the Bible not the world.  Make the Proverbs 31 women your number one role model.   I've worked at it for 36 years and I still am falling short!  It's a big order but a beautiful one!
   Third, your children need your attention.  You only have one time to raise them.  Children need much care and that means they consume much of our time.  A child "left to himself" (to send away, let loose, cast away, dismiss, give over) bringeth his mother to shame.  Who have I sent my child to instead of taking personal responsibility for my child's rearing, teaching and training?  The public school, tv, computer, cell phone, friends, a babysitter or daycare?  They don't just need food and clothing and some "quality" time.  They need us.  They need Deuteronomy 6 rearing.  We need to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord as we sit, walk and stand. 
    Fourth, our homes.  The home is the domain of the woman.  Study your Bible carefully about the woman.  Her ministry is through the home--not outside of the home.  That's where she cares for her husband so he can go out and pastor, evangelize, or teach.  That's where she raises his children carefully so they are an honor to him.  That's where she cooks for preachers, puts people up as they serve the Lord, sews little clothing to give to others, and the list (from the Bible) goes on and on.  The home is the wonderful little piece of heaven God has given us to serve Him in as a woman.
  When a woman goes outside of the home she is no longer following God's design for her and she'll get in trouble.  I remember two different women that joined our church when I was a teen and they were always at church doing something.  One lady wanted to run a van route, she went on visitation all the time, she went to every meeting at every church in the area.  The other one was at the Christian school or at the church volunteering to do every extra piece of secretarial work or other work that she could find.
  My mother was unimpressed.  She said they were doing it to avoid their work God had given them at home.  She would say, "Tami, always remember your mission field is at your feet.   They're neglecting their husbands, children and homes in the name of serving God and God isn't honored with that."  Before I was married both women were divorced and out of church.
  Don't take my word for it.  Do a Bible study and see where God has women ministering.  If women are out of the home see what God says about them.  If they are out of the home and in a spiritual position see what condition the nation was in spiritually at the time and see if God liked it.  God made the man for the position of going out into the world and holding positions of leadership and authority and we're his helpmeet.  We are to see to it that he can do his job efficiently and with our encouragement and help!
  Count phone calls, internet time, and other "gates" out of your home as time out of the home.  Remember God's warning about younger widows who have married and cast off their first faith?  "And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not."  (I tim. 5:13)  The word learn  means "to learn by use and practice, to be in the habit of" and the word idle means lazy, shunning from the labour which one ought to perform".  If you're doing all the Bible tells you to do as a woman you won't have time for wandering from house to house (even by phone or internet) speaking things which you shouldn't be speaking.
  What a beautiful place the Lord has given us to work.  What a wonderful and varied life's work He has given us.  Domestic skills (and the word "keepers" in Titus 2 means "working at home, caring for the home, the watch or keeper of the house, keeping at home and taking care of household affairs, a domestic")  are some of the most wonderful skills to learn.  Entire websites and blogs are dedicated to our lives--crafting, cooking, sewing, interior design, childcare, cleaning, and the list goes on and on and on. God put the love for the domestic things in a woman--feed that instinctive love He has given you.  I love my chosen career.  I love being able to use the home the Lord has given us to minister to those He has given me to care for and attend to. 
  So dear ones, if you are careful (to be anxious, to be troubled with cares, to seek to promote one's interest, to be annoyed in spirit), or troubled (disturbed, to be troubled in mind, disquieted) then I pray that you will come to the Lord and yield yourself completely to Him.  If you've never yielded yourself to Him for salvation then that is the first and most important step of your life.  He alone can wash away every sin, put His precious blood on you, enter your life and heart and save you from the destruction of being a sinner against God by saving your soul. 
  If you are saved then yield your all to Him and let Him have full control of your life.  Agree to give up your plans, dreams, ideas, hopes, and possessions and put them in His care.  Start a walk of sweet fellowship and  friendship and choose to sit at His feet daily. 
  Remember there is no grace for anything you're doing that He hasn't chosen.  You're on your own and let me assure you that the arm of flesh will fail you.  Whatever God orders/prescribes for you He enables you to do and gives you grace and strength when your flesh fails you.  "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever."  Psalms 73:26)
  I pray that this has given you new hope and new strength and perhaps for someone very stressed and worn out emotionally it will get you back to a pathway of joy and healing.
With love,
Mom