His Wonderful Works....Part 5



 It's been a long and wonderful summer for us here at the Neals.  I love my front porch, I love the more relaxed mood, and I love projects in the summer.  So between my projects and my porch there have been no posts since June! :)
   These posts are a walk down memory lane for me.  I am doing them at the request of my husband.  He felt it would be good for me to meditate on all the wonderful blessings the Lord has given us.  He's right--it is good to remember the kindness, patience and goodness of the Lord as my Shepherd, my Teacher, and my Friend. (and so much more)
  In my last post I told how the Lord gave us our second child-Alicia.  What lessons He had for me in two little girls.  They looked different and their personalities were different.  Niki started talking in phrases at 15 months.  Alicia took her time in talking, but was pulling up in her crib early on.  She walked first, and her motor skills were advanced.  My mother had often told me not to expect the same thing from my second child as my first one, but now I was learning firsthand how different two children could be.
  Alicia's curious nature was always there.  She was always discovering something new.  Niki, on the other hand, would be walking behind me asking hundreds of adult-type questions.  I was absolutely enthralled with being the mother of two unique little girls.
  At this time I had been growing spiritually and began reading biographies of great Christians.  As a little girl my mother often read us stories of great Christians.  I remember Hudson Taylor, Johanna Veenstra, Mary Slessor and Nate Saint as some of the heroes that we had as children.  The sweet memories of these stories motivated me to start reading on my own. 
   I began to realize how important a prayer life was, how important reading my Bible daily was.  Part of it was because I had become a woman and the other part was realizing how important being a mother was.
  We lived in a small gray house that the church owned that sat in a lot adjacent to the church.  What sweet memories I have there!  I was learning the art of being a homemaker.  The floors were old grey tile, but I polished them with Future wax to make them shine.  I  spent time looking at  cookbooks so I could have a hot meal waiting for my husband when he got home from work.  I enjoyed decorating with items that had been given to me.
  I rehearsed in my mind things that my grandmother and mother had said while we were just chatting that now made sense.  My grandma had told me to always make sure my beds were made, my dishes done and my living room was tidy.  That way if company came I wouldn't be ashamed of my house.
  So what was the wonderful work in this time of my life?  Well, the Lord was just beginning the lesson of contentment in my life.  (And I had to repeat this grade for several years!)
  I had been given the gift of parents who had their value system straight.  Possessions had no hold on them.  My mother had told me she remembered reading a biography of Isobel Kuhn who said to always hold your possessions on an open hand to the Lord and to "never curl up your fingers on them."
  My parents were in full-time ministry most of their adult lives and they always had to pinch the pennies.  But you never sensed they resented it or felt they'd missed something.  They had found something bigger than having the right car, or the right house, or even the right clothes.  They had found how to have food and raiment and be very content. 
   Now we were living life on a tight budget with two little girls that needed clothes, doctor visits and food on the table.  I had a choice to make--resent it and fight it or learn what my parents had learned.  That lesson was how to depend on God and be thankful for what He provided.  I began to pray specifically for things like winter coats, shoes and grocery money for the week. 
  At the same time I was so very happy.  I had a husband who loved me, made me feel cherished, found joy in being the breadwinner and caring for his little family.  Our marriage was a happy one.  We had two healthy little girls.   I found that I could get more joy out of bathing a baby, or sitting under a shade tree and watching them play then in going shopping.  I got more joy out of fixing a new recipe than having a new outfit.  I found out that sitting on the porch with my husband after the girls had gone to bed and listening to the night sounds gave me more joy than going on the town for a night. 
  Although I didn't realize it this wasn't just my personality--it was a gift from the Lord.  I also didn't realize that this is the by-product that comes with carrying out your life in agreement with how the Lord designed the home and family.  When we do it His way it produces a deep contentment and joy in our hearts.
  How thankful I am now for the parents, the grandparents, the church and the husband God had so graciously given me.  All these had played a part in my being able to live in a tiny house with a tiny budget with very used furniture and hand-me-down clothes feeling like I was one of the richest women that ever lived!
  Today I look back with such gratefulness for all the wonderful blessings in my life that I took for granted then.  How I thank the Lord for the memories of the smallest beginnings in my life of I Timothy 6:6--"But godliness with contentment is great gain."
 
  

Our prayers are an influence in our home...

No one can intercede for the man of God, pray for his protection from the "destroyer" or set the mood by prayer like we can. This is spiritual warfare, and the battle is on for our husbands, our home, our families...
"Happy the man, called to go forward in any pathway of faith, who has in his life-companion ony sympathy and help....frail in health and only twenty-eight years in age, Mrs. Taylor's... hands were full with the care of four young children, yet from the moment she learned of her husband's call to the great, the seemingly impossible task of evangelization of inland China she became in a new way his comfort and inspiration. Her hand wrote for him, her faith strengthened his own, her prayers undergirded the whole work and her practical experience and loving heart made her the Mother of the mission..." -Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret
"Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses." (Neh. 4:14)
Our families have souls, let's fight for them in prevailing prayer today!

Influence...

 As I've spent time with the Lord and also spent time with Christian friends for the last few months I have realized how very, very important influence is. 
  Again and again in the Bible we see examples of people who were influenced for the good or for the bad by who they were with.  The Lord told His people Israel not to take on the way of the heathen, but to cast them out.  He even told them to burn their idols and cast down their altars "lest thou be snared therein"... (Deut. 7:25)
  We see where David's son was influenced by a friend who was subtil.  That same friend had an influence in his death!
  We see Solomon's mother warning him of wrong influence, (Proverbs 31) we hear Solomon warning in the book of Proverbs of whose way we should follow and whose way will lead us into destruction of our life and soul. (almost every chapter!)
  Paul repeats again and again who to be with and who to avoid.  He even warns that only the spiritual should try to rescue those who have been snared into sin lest they fall along with them. (Gal. 6:1)
  Rather we want to admit it or not we are all influenced by who we spend time with, what we read, what we look at, or where we spend our time. 
  One of the greatest joys of my life is reconnecting with someone from years ago and seeing that they have remained strong in the faith.  What joy to find that they haven't dropped any convictions, and that although they have had to stand alone in many areas they are still remaining faithful to Christ.
  One of the greatest sorrows in my life has been watching people who you were sure would never lose the wonderful joy they had in Christ and in following Him as a peculiar people decide that they were wrong and reevalutating all those things that at one time they found their sweetest fellowship with Christ in. 
  It is usually obvious that things are not the same.  They've lost that excitment and joy on what Christ is doing in their lives.  They either avoid subjects or are argumentive about tenets of the faith that they once taught new Christians as very important to growing in grace and the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
  As you listen to them you almost always find certain common denominators:

1)  False doctrine has slipped in somewhere.   Paul warned of this repeatedly.  He said it would happen.  Someone has come in with something that is so close to the truth it is difficult to tell that it's not the truth with just a little poison slipped in.  My dad used to say that just a little rat poison in your loaf of bread would still sicken or kill you! 
   If you're going to disobey the word of God and cease obeying the truth you have to replace it with something else.  I know there's nothing new under the sun, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that the doctrines that replace the truth almost always make salvation confusing with works added to it.
  I have found by experience that God's authority and His prescribed design are safety nets here.  If we seek the truth we find it, and the truth will always, always set us free.

2)  Someone has influenced them-- not Christ.  When you find extremes among God's people you will almost always find them following a person.  Rather it's extremes in being just like the world or extremes in being apart from the world when you really listen to people who've moved from the truth they have been influenced by a book, a preacher, a family, an internet site, a Bible college,  etc. 
   I like to ask people how much time they simply spend in the word of God each day seeking His face that they might submit their will, heart and mind to Christ. How much time are they searching for His heart and mind on every issue of their lives.  When you come before Him with a humble heart and a true desire to obey Him He makes it very clear what He desires. 
  Paul told those who wanted to follow him or Applos or Cephas that they weren't to pattern their life after a man, but after Christ.   (I Cor. 1:12-25)
  I know in my own life when I began to wander into the desert of depression I had listened to a false doctrine and other voices above my Saviour's.  It only led to confusion and spiritual darkness. 
  This goes back to authority.  Every human authority in my life is just that--human.  I have to have a deeper faith, one that goes back to trusting a very perfect God to lead my life by a human authority.  I must believe I can trust God--He will never influence me to sin.

3)  The direction of the life usually doesn't go to a purer and holier life, but to a life that is void of spiritual life.    In most lives you see great outward change.  There is a change in what they wear, where they feel comfortable going, what they call "godly music", etc.  This is outward manifestation of a deeper problem.
  With others the person becomes more extreme in their outward appearance and personal standards of life and practice.  They make more and more demands on what it requires to be right with God.  They have a "prescribed" list that grows and grows as they decide what is spiritual and what is not.  Many times you find them swallowing camels and straining at gnats.  This is because they are putting an emphasis on the flesh and not on the spirit of Christ.  Many times you find they have a root sin they've never gotten victory over and so other areas are overemphasised.  In both cases the root problem is not allowing Christ Himself be the authority. 
  Matthew 5-7 is Christ's discourse that makes it plain that God is a holy God with very high standards.  He also makes it clear that they are impossible in the power of the flesh.  When we attempt to carry out God's holiness in the power of the flesh it creates a very filthy, spiritually superior spirit.
  On the other hand, separation is from page 1 of the Bible to the last chapter.  God hates sin.  Sin destroys us.  When we ask Him to save us He starts a work of saving us of each and every thing that He cannot have as a holy God.  It's not that we aren't to live separated lives, it's that we are to live them by the power of the Spirit.
   I once saw an illustration showing white, gray, black and in that illustration were things listed that most Christians saw as definitely white, some that they saw as gray, and some most Christians saw as black.  Then it showed Christ as perfectly white and pure.  It showed the world in the lighter black and the church in the white.
  Then it showed the world going deeper and deeper into the black, and as it did the church was moving deeper and deeper from the white to the gray and almost to the black.  The problem?  The church was saying, "We're staying the same distance from the world as we always have!"
  But are we to compare ourselves among ourselves, or are we to have Christ as our goal?  If you keep your eyes on Christ as your comparison you will  live a purer and purer life as you grow.
  
When I think of my own life I think about what I have in my life that influences me.  Then I ask the question, "How does it influence me?" 
Am I influenced when I get a new seed catalog, beautiful Southern Lady magazine, or clothing catalog?  Yes.
Am I influenced when I watch a movie or read a book?  Yes.  I can name books that literally changed the course of my life and thinking.
 Am I influenced by the people I spend time with?  Yes.  I have people that leave me feeling like a limp rag from the emotional weight they pull out of you,  I have people that convict me, (but in a good way) and motivate me to do more for Christ, love Him more, spend more time with Him,  I have people that make me unhappy with who I am and where I am, (if I let them) I have people who energize me.  Yes, people influence me.
Am I influenced by my family?  My children can influence me to laugh, cry, and pray.  They can make me so proud I want to wave a flag and say "Hey everyone, that's my child." and they can shame me to where I would like to not answer when they say "Mom".  Yes, my family influences me.
Am I influenced by the word of God?  Yes, when I prayerfully get alone with the Lord in the word of God I can't believe what it does to me.  It's alive!  It permeates, cleanses, renews, and is engrafted into me.
  Am I influenced by what I listen to?  Obviously, if I'm having an overwhelming day my husband will say, "Why don't you go turn on your Christian radio station?"  I can go into a store playing rock and fully understand why teens get a gun and shoot someone after listening to it!  Why do you think bars don't play hymns?  I could name two men that told me their infidelity in their marriage started with listening to country music on a regular basis. 
  Am I influenced by what I wear?  You better believe it.  I have outfits that make me feel fat, frumpy and irritable just by glancing in the mirror.  I also have clothes that make me feel good about myself. I have clothes that say I'm going to be painting or in the garden, and I have clothes that make my kids say, "Where are you going today?"  Many times in my life my clothes have motivated the question from a complete stranger, "Where do you go to church?"  I always reply, "What makes you ask me that?"  It's what I wear!
    I can dress in a way that is suggestive, and I can dress in a way that is pure.  I can unbutton one more button and make an entirely different statement. I can make it slightly tighter and slightly higher up on my leg and I promise you my husband would say it wasn't going out the front door of this house.
   I can convince people I'm a businesswoman, a lover of country music, a motorcycle mama, going to lay on a beach or a street walker -by what I wear.  I mark every scripture that discusses clothing with a small picture of a garment.  There is no argument--clothing matters to God.
  Am I influenced by where I go?  Yes, I am.  I don't shop too much or I become covetous.  I don't go spend time in bars, certain stores, or in the wrong section of a book store because I don't want to be influenced in a wrong way.  I am careful with social networking because it has a powerful influence in my life.  I have been influenced by what I saw on a Facebook page to laugh till I cried, to say A-men out loud, and to weep like a baby at where that person's life has gone.
 I know this is long, but I've got a deep, deep burden for today's child of God.  I prayerfully ask you to turn to the Lord and yield yourself to His influence in your life  (Rom. 12:1,2) and then beg Him to make you an influence in someone else's life to turn them to a life of abiding in Christ.  There is no joy like the joy of the Lord Himself being your strength. 
  Influence.....who is yours and who are you influencing?

 
  

The first priority....just one thing!

  We all have priorities rather we acknowledge it or not.  In our heads we have to decide what we're going to do first in our day, where our time and money will go first, who will get our attention first....and that list could go on and on! 
  In Matthew 6 the Lord is preaching and He talks about those things that want our attention first.  I guess we could also say that they are what our "old man" or our flesh desires to put first, so He gives us a warning and a command.

  He talks about "treasures" and tell us not to become consumed with the earthly treasures that want our attention and love first.  That word "treasures" He used is talking about a storehouse or a place that we keep the things that matter most to us.  It is talking about the literal treasures we might lay up or the treasures that we store up in our heart and soul.   We are told that wherever our treasures are we will find our heart.  Things consume our time and our attention.  As a wife and mother we should always remember that our things are to be there to serve us and not the other way around!  A good way to test where your treasure is would be to pay attention to what uses up your time and your money.  If we really want something bad enough we'll find the time and the money for it.  It's good to review on a regular basis and see if something is consuming us! 
   Another good checkpoint that I use is to ask myself if I am neglecting any God-given duties. If I am then I know that I have something in my life I am "treasuring" more than Him.  If I can't find time to spend time with the Lord then I have another god in my life that is consuming the time that should be His.  It's time to see what "other love" has kept me from the Lord. If I can't seem to find time to care for the needs of my husband and children then I need to see what is more important to me than those I'm given to care for by the word of God.  Why can't I find time to cook their meals, wash their clothes, teach and train them like I should?  If I don't have any time for that I need to be removing another earthly treasure from my life. 
  I read a  and I find in books  and articles on taking care of yourself physically they always are death on the excuse "I can't find time."  They give statistics on how much time is spent in front of the tv or the computer and they explain that you do have the time, you're just not using it for the right thing!
  It is true that if we truly love something we don't find time we make time!
   In verses 22 and 23 the Lord talks about the single eye versus the evil eye.  The best definition I ever read for the word single was "to look away from all else".  That is the way to get your priorities in order.  We have to look away from all else but the Lord Jesus Christ.
(Hebrews 12:2)  As much as I desire to keep first things first it won't happen without the indwelling Holy Spirit.  He's the One that gave me the desire in the first place and He's the One that enables me to keep my priorities in an order that glorifies and magnifies Him.  "For  it is God  which worketh in you both  to will and to do  of his good pleasure." (Phil. 2:13)
  There are so many things that are wanting my attention and begging me to look at them instead of what the Word of God (Christ) says.  If for even a short time I turn my head and begin to give them my attention things will fall apart in the spiritual world for me. 
  The evil eye is defined as "being full of labours, annoyances, hardships, being harrassed by annoyances and hardships, perils to my Christian faith and stedfastness."  That is exactly the opposite of the single eye where we are steadfastly looking to Christ for the truth and the ability to live the truth.  It goes right along with the different hearts the Lord talks about and what is used by Satan to destroy them.  It is so important to keep what He says as most important and to not listen to all the questions and doubt that our flesh and Satan hurls at us. 
  You know the questions, "What about....?" and "What if....?"   Sometimes he uses people we don't know and sometimes he uses very real people that we love to make us question what we know the word of God teaches us. 
    If you want a real good thumping just listen to the media.  All the Lord teaches us is questioned, critiqued and mocked.  After you've spent any amount of time watching tv, reading the news, reading their books and their self-help material you can really question the Lord and lose your stedfast faith!
  He ends the discussion of the single eye and the evil eye with the warning that we cannot have two masters.  One will always have our loyalty over the other.  If He is not our Master and doesn't have our loyalty then "mammon" has our love and loyalty.  And we're told in I John 2:15-17 that if we're friends with the world we're not friends with Him and His love is not in us.
  The last point the Lord makes before telling us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness is telling us not to make food, drink and clothing a matter of focus in our lives.  He tells us that He can take care of all that and when we focus on fretting over where it is going to come from then we're not making Him first in our lives. 
  He says the Gentiles seek these things and as His children we're not to do that.  The word seek there means to "crave, demand, clamor for, seek diligently for, enquire for".  Sounds like it was important, doesn't it?
   Then we have the verse that our first priority is in.  Matthew 6:33, "But  seek ye first the kingdom  of God , and his  righteousness ; and all these things  shall be added unto you ."
 This verse promises us that if we keep first things first then He'll take care of all that the flesh, the world and Satan would have us fret about. 
  I can be the queen of fretters.  Worry seems to be second nature to me.  But the Lord has faithfully taught me in the last few years that if I'll keep my walk and fellowship where it ought to be with Him I won't have to even fret about fretting!  Walking with Him makes the life He offers to live in me, through me and for me so simple.
  It's hard to believe it's as simple as having a daily time with the Lord to keep your priorities where they ought to be, but it works.  I'm not talking about just grabbing your Bible, your Bible reading chart and your prayer journal and rushing through it so the conscience is soothed.  I've done that many a time! 
   I'm talking about recognizing that you're in His presence and talking to Him like you would the best friend you have on earth.  Reading the Bible and asking Him to impress on you what you need today.  The word seek in Matthew 6:33 has a different meaning then the one in verse 32.  It means "to seek for, to seek (in order to find out) by thinking, meditating, and reasoning; to strive after, to inquire into". 
  I've not found one thing that I had a question about that when I turned to the Lord and seriously asked Him about that He didn't give me the answer and I never questioned it again.  That was true of my role as a woman, my place and purpose in life, my full surrender, my dress, my lifestyle as a Christian and I could name more that I've brought to Him.  The will has to be yielded though, you have to say, "Thy will be done." and then do it when He answers. It's always brought me joy--not a feeling of being deprived. 
   During my "wilderness years" when I struggled with depression I read my Bible but my prayer life suffered terribly.  Over and over I asked Him to please show me the path out of my darkness and confusion.  (This is a story in itself that I won't try to tell here.)  It wasn't like a single lightbulb moment but the only verse He ever gave me that I knew was concerning my illness was "He sent his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions." (Psalms 107:20) 
  I began to realize that when my husband took his pastorate that I went from being a Mary who set faithfully at the feet of the Lord each day soaking in all He had for me into being a Martha--busy serving tables and meeting the needs of others but neglecting my sweet fellowship that I'd once had because I was just too busy!
  Did I read my Bible and pray?  Yes, but it wasn't what I'd had with Him before and as I gave and gave and never took from Him as I should all the joy was drained from me.
  I know now that I had to go back to where I left my first love (and we don't lose it we leave it) and once again sit with Him and find sweet fellowship in our relationship.  I now have on the first page of my prayer journal "But  one thing is  needful: and Mary hath chosen that good  part, which shall not be taken away  from  her."   (Luke 10:42)  I have it there to remind myself that if I'll keep that one thing  -the first thing in its proper place then I'll be just fine no matter what comes my way. 
  What about you?  Does the word "overwhelmed" fit your life?  Does there seem to be so many tasks and responsibilities that you don't know where to start?  Are you questioning that maybe, just maybe you need to adapt to today's culture and fit in and then possibly things will go better?  Does it seem that more money would solve your problems?  Maybe you're tempted to think that life would be better if you could get out of your marriage?  Maybe you should give the children away to someone else to teach and train you're so overwhelmed with the task?  Are you feeling weary of not looking the way the world dictates you should look?  Are you embarassed of being different in what you have, where you go, what you wear?  Are you to the point you'd rather fit in with the world than be classified with the Christians of today?   Are you envious of what "they" have that you seem to be doing without?
  When I was in my early Mary years I was totally unaware that I didn't fit in I was so full of joy in my relationship with the Lord.  People would often comment on the sweet spirit in our home or the peace and there were four little bodies running around the house and we were living on an income that didn't begin to pay our bills! 
  Now He has me there again.  And it all came from keeping that first priority in order, from making that one thing have its proper place in my life.  If you're overwhelmed I beg of you to make the time in your day to sit at His feet and commune with Him in the Word of God and prayer.  Don't fret about rather you're doing it all right--just do it.  Find a closet (like I had to do during my children's naptime when they were all toddler) or a place on your porch or even the kitchen table but find a time and a place and get that first priority in its place.  The Lord will work the miracle in the rest of your life for you then!

 
  
 

  

Post-Mother's Day Thoughts...

  I had a wonderful Mother's Day this year.  The celebration began on Saturday morning when at 8:15 a.m. a florist delivered me a beautiful hanging basket of bright peach geraniums!  I was curious as I opened the card, and to be truthful, Nevin has always been the one that has sent a rose to plant or flowers as a gift so I half-expected them to be from him.  I was already chiding whichever child did it in my head for "spending extra money they didn't have" but yet thrilled that I was that important!  When I opened the card it said, "I love you.  Alicia"  I had had a rough night physically but it was all forgotten in a second as that warm feeling of being special and loved went through me.  She couldn't have picked a better gift at a better time.  Thank you, my dear Alicia. (and family)
  Then the mail arrived and John knocked on the bedroom door with it behind his back.  He said, "You got this" and handed me an envelope, "and you got this!" and handed me a package!   They were both from Niki.  The envelope held new pictures of our precious grandbabies and the package was a coffee mug with pictures from the last year of the Lott family!  The pictures are on my dresser and the cup has the perfect place in my Hoosier cabinet!
  My next blessing was a visit from my mother-in-law which I thoroughly enjoyed.  We had asked her to spend the weekend with us as this was her first Mother's Day without Charles.  I love her as if she were my own mother and am so thankful for her.  We all went "flower shopping" for a while and found beautiful hostas at K Mart.  She and I both benefited from that trip because Gary went back later than evening and got us each two of them for Mother's Day.
  We bought the food for a simple Mother's Day lunch of hoagies, oven fries and fruit and cheese.  Cierra made brownie bites and Gary  bought chocolate ice cream and low calorie/low fat chocolate syrup so we could have sundaes  I was thrilled that we found the exact things on sale at UGO for my Mother's Day lunch I had asked for.  (They even had chicken and turkey submarine [a.k.a. long strips of deli meat] for $1.59 a lb.!  All we had to do was load the sandwiches!) 
   John bought me the clothesline I had requested so I could freshen my drapes this summer and hang out my sheets weekly.  Cierra bought me the can opener that was on my "wish list" and Gary bought me two hanging baskets of ferns and two hostas.  I'm a blessed mother, with or without gifts--but it sure is nice to have them express their love by showering you with gifts!
  I talked to all my children on Mother's Day and the crowning glory of a present was a personal letter written to me from my son Nathan.  It arrived by e-mail and when Gary came to see why I hadn't come to bed at 11:37 p.m. I was sitting there crying for joy at the sweet letter of gratitude from my son.  It was the perfect gift.
  His letter made me think about the choices I'd made as a mother.  Most of my choices were made from watching the example of my own precious mother and from believing the Bible is true and if we do what it says we will reap good fruit in our lives.  My choices were also a conscious decision on the part of my husband and myself being very serious about raising our children for the Lord.  I remember both of us being very nervous about the huge responsibility we had taken on when we had our first little baby girl! 
  I remember our discussions about the seriousness of being responsible for living souls and us making a definite choice for me to be a stay-at-home mother even if we had to "sell the furniture out from under us" for me to do so.  I also remember when Niki became school age many conversations about her education and once again we made the decision to see to it she got a Christian education and together "counting the cost" of this and deciding that whatever the cost our children would have a godly Christian education not a Christless one that challenged all we believed to be true.
   The Lord always sent the right sermon, the right book, the right person into our lives when we were "paying the price".  I remember reading the book Growing Up God's Way by John Stormer and reading about Susanna Wesley saying that the reason she hesitated to give advice to other mother's about child-rearing was that "so few mothers would take the center of their life and dedicate it to rearing godly children". (not a direct quote but how I remember it!)  I decided then that I would take the best part of my life and dedicate it to raising children for the Lord. 
  I remember another friend handing me the book, What the Bible Says About Child Training  by Richard Fugate.  After reading it I had an even deeper sense of responsibility to obey the word of God above all else in rearing children because God Himself held me responsible for it.  It changed my thinking and my life as a mother in a positive way.
   The last few days I've pondered all of this in my heart and yearned for the Lord to continue to use me as a godly woman, wife and mother till the day I die.  Today I was checking e-mails and a blog entitled "What's Been Easy About Losing 25 Pounds" caught my eye. http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=how_to_pay_the_price_for_weight_loss_and_win.  In this article he talked about "paying the price" to lose weight and get fit.  I had been thinking about "paying the price" but in the spiritual realm for two days now!  Every thing he said fit hand-and-glove with what I'd been thinking about concerning my role as a godly woman.  He talked about making a daily decision to "pay the price" and the long-term benefits you would reap.  He asked you to join his Spark group and list as a comment how you paid the price that day.  It inspired me and made me want to become a part of "paying the price" in the area of health, nutrition and fitness.  But it also inspired me to renew my commitments to "pay the price" in my spiritual life, and to think about it on a daily basis.
  An hour or so later it was time to exercise.  I don't hate exercise, I hate the time it takes out of my busy day.  Each day the man that wrote the book 8 Minutes in the Morning (by Jorge Cruise) has a little self-talk he wants you to do before you exercise.  Today's was about "Loser Zones".  In his book he had the quote, "You will never find time for anything.  If you want time, you must make it." -Charles Buxton, American writer.  That went right along with my philosophy that you will find the time and the money for anything you truly love and want.  He asked the question, "What are your Loser Zones, and how many hours per day do you spend Loser Zone activity?"  The number one loser zone he listed was television viewing--up to 30 hours a week for the average American!  He also mentioned aimless phone conversations, surfing the internet, etc.
  Once again my mind ran to the spiritual realm.  Where were my Loser Zones that kept me from spending more time with the Lord in His word and in prayer?  I could name a couple right off the bat.  Was I willing to "pay the price" so I could reap the benefits?  Who might I see saved this year or rescued spiritually if I was willing to "pay the price"?  What might happen in my own life and that of my family if I was willing to "pay the price" and move forward with the Lord to a higher plane than I've been on? 
  Today I was motivated in the spiritual area and in the physical realm to be a better mother this year than I was last year.  To yield what I wanted to see stronger bonds, sweeter relationships and spiritual fruit in my life and the life of my family.
  Because I'm a mother of older children and younger children I am already reaping some precious fruit from my children that lets me know it was worth every ounce of "paying the price".  My son's heartfelt thank you letter left me knowing it was worth every sacrifice I'd ever made as a mother.  Knowing your children are safely in His flock and fold givs you a good night's rest. 
  I thank the Lord for giving us a guide book and for His faithfulness in sending instructions when we are yearning for them.  I thank Him for letting me have the privilege and responsibility of being a mother, and I thank Him for entrusting those precious little souls into my care for a few years. 
  I pray that you too will count the cost and decide that it's worth every precious sacrifice you make to see your children "spiritually" healthy and satisfied.  May the Lord use this to encourage you to not be "weary in well doing" but to keep on keeping on as a wife and mother separated "from the world unto the Lord".   May God strengthen and encourage each one of you as you raise your family for Him.

Love,

Mom

Sustaining Grace...

  This is not the next post I had planned.  I had planned on a post about sweethearts, Valentine's Day, etc.  I always get very tender toward my sweetheart in February because we got married in March and the memories begin to run through my heart of the wonderful years the Lord has given me with my husband of almost 37 years!
  The post I am going to write is difficult because it is one where I am going to be open about my weaknesses and that isn't easy for me.  However, I promised myself that when it comes to being someone in leadership (a pastor's wife) I want to be honest about the fact that I have every battle that every other woman has and that I want to wear no masks.  I am simply an older woman who has been down the road a little further which only has taught me how much I desperately need the Lord--not made me better than anyone else.  I do want to take my experience and help others so that perhaps they have less pain and learn to lean on Him a little sooner in life than I did.
  The post I had planned is not going to be written because  life has taken me down another path than I had in my planned for about a week now.  I battle major health issues since I had C. diff and pancreatitis three years ago.  In the last week or so I've been in what I'd call a major flare-up.  I have decided that until the Lord takes me another direction this is His will for my life and I try my best to make my illness one of the details of my life--not my life.  Every once in a while in takes control however, and we're there.
  I also am a victim of chronic depression.  It is not easy to say that, but God's grace has been so sweet to me in this area of my life.  He has taught me year by year how to manage this illness and I praise His name that He has used my life to help others at times. 
  I always have my lowest point in late January and early February.  I know it's going to come and have to remind myself to keep track of the triggers (and avoid as many as possible), to get my sunlight and make myself take walks when it starts.  If you suffer depression you know that's the very last thing you want to do and I remind my husband to not ask me but tell me what to do during this time of the year.  Because of the things I've learned I go through many winters with only mild symptoms instead of being in the bed in despair as I have in previous years.
   This year something caused the depression to go into a major downswing.  I could list about five possible causes so who's to know which one or if it was a combination of all.  Number one on my list is the downswing in my health.  I fight intense pain and when it gets to the point I want to pace I begin to feel hopeless that it will ever end.  The thought of living the rest of my life like this is not a pleasant one and I have to send that thought away and live one day at a time.
   But that's not what this post is about.  This post is about God's goodness and His sustaining grace.  This week I had a day when my body decided it had to have rest and I literally "crashed" into a deep sleep. (No medication involved in case you're wondering.) When I did rouse my unwelcome "friend" was always there with the despair and hopelessness.  And that's when the Lord had my daughter Alicia call to check on me.  I was half awake/half asleep and we were talking. 
   In the midst of a conversation I can't remember fully she asked "Who created emotions?" 
   My reply was, "God."
  Then she said something like this, "Mom, God created sadness, and fear and other emotions that are negative simply to be used as a springboard to make us see our need for Him." 
  My heart gripped that.  That was exactly what the Lord has been faithfully teaching me and He used my precious daughter to remind me of it when I was literally too ill to even think straight enough to turn my heart and mind toward the truths I knew.  I have no faith, no light, no courage of my own and at a time when my heart is trembling, my flesh is failing me, and my mind and emotions are in turmoil and confusion I only have to look to Him to sustain me and minister Himself to me. 
  Then today-- I ended up with four firetrucks at my house because of a problem with our fireplace insert.  We came very close to having a house fire.  The Lord spared us by allowing it to happen during the day and allowing help to come quickly.  We didn't even have serious smoke damage.  However, my already fragile nerves felt like they were literally shot and I could feel the panic trying to rise in me over all the "little foxes" in our lives right now.
  My oldest daughter Niki called this evening and began to talk to me about the Lord not saying He wouldn't put more on us than we could bear when it came to burdens--that text had to do with temptations. She talked about how He allows the unbearable burdens in our lives so we will turn to Him and let Him be our Burden-bearer and sustain us.  He simply uses the burdens to remind us we need Him and can't go through lives without Him.  The same message again--and just when I needed it.
   As we talked once again I could feel the Holy Spirit ministering the truth to me when my mind and emotions were too weary to even think properly.  Once again the Living Water bubbled up inside of me as I thought of Him right there to sustain me with His grace, to bear me up on His wings, to hold underneath me with His everlasting arms and when I can only look He's there for me.
  How thankful I am He has given me two daughters who can minister to their mother.  There is no greater blessing or greater dividend in life than having children that bring you joy in their spiritual walk being healthy.
So tonight, I want to remind you of His wonderful grace.  If you are too weak, too weary, perhaps you sicken yourself with your inability to trust or be courageous, just fall upon Him and look up at Him and let Him minister His life and righteousness and grace to you.  "My flesh  and my heart faileth : but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion  for ever."  Ps. 73:26  He will not fail you, He promises! 

p.s. If you are Niki's friend on Facebook you can read her wonderful essay on this--http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/niki-neal-lott/more-than-we-can-bear/10150133658690159

   

Oxford's Holy Club

The past three weeks or so I've been going through boxes that we were keeping under our house in a storm room.  We found out about six weeks ago that everything in that room was molding!  Not good, since it held the Christmas tree, my fall decorations, all my wreaths and the list goes on. 
The box that upset me the most was my keepsake box.  It's been safely kept in the shed for 13 1/2 years but now it had some mold in it so I've been going through it a little each day.  (It's a big box and mostly letters and papers.)
  I have laughed, cried, and shook my head at much of what I've read.  I've asked myself why I kept every little card given to me. I have laughed at Niki's early, early days of poetry, Alicia's nighttime notes she left her daddy and I and the boys birthday party decorations and special artwork and notes.  I've been surprised to see how much Nathan wrote to people and talked about his schoolwork!  I've enjoyed notes and letters talking about Nevin's love of costumes and playing Civil War, cowboy and frontiersman. 
  I've found letters from friends and church members from long ago that have made me happy and sad.  I've read many letters from my mother and from friends and realized we really don't change much over time.  Those that complained about everything early in their lives are still complaining when I talk to them, those that kept a good attitude and trust in the Lord are mostly still doing it.  I can see my children's strengths and weaknesses.  I've seen all my strengths and weaknesses and laughed ruefully that I'm still fighting many of my early besetting sins--however, I am walking in victory in most of them!  Time (and learning to "put on" the Lord Jesus Christ are wonderful lessons to learn) is a helpful thing in our lives.
  Today I want to quote a paper that I had copied that had been a great help to me when I was a young mother and had just surrendered all to the Lord.  It is convicting but good!  I quote:
   The members of the Holy Club in Oxford in John Wesley's day examined themselves every Sunday on the love of God and the simplicity of their faith; on Monday, they examined themselves on their love toward their fellowmen and submitted themselves to twenty-seven quiestions; and so on throughout the week.  Here are some of the questions:
1.  Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am a better woman than I really am.  In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2.  Am I honest in all my acts or words or do I exaggerate?
3.  Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told me in confidence?
4.  Can I be trusted?
5.  Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
6.  Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
7.  Did the Bible live in me today?
8.  Do I give it time to speak to me every day?
9.  Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else with the object of trying to win that person for Christ?
11. Am I making contacts with other people and using them for the Master's glory?
12. Do I pray about the money I spend?
13. Do I get to bed in time and get up in time?
14. Do I disobey God in anything?
15. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
16. Am I defeated in any part of my life, jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican?
20. Is there anybody whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard?  If so, what am I doing about this?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?

Whew...I don't know about you, but a few of those stung!  I am adding them to my current event book of things that must be deal with.  Thank You Lord for reminding me of those things that I need to change.
Applying these truths to our lives will definitely help bring revival in our lives. 
Let's each pick the one we need to work on the most and begin to take steps immediately to remove or add to our life what the Holy Spirit desires to enable us to obey in!

Love,

Mom
  

Priorities...

My God-given priorities are these: (in order of importance)
1) My relationship with the Lord
2) My relationship with my husband
3) My relationship with my children
4) My home
5) Other activities
After making sure the Lord has my day and my plans agree with Him, that He has the preeminince in my day and that I am spending time at His feet I should be giving my husband the attention he deserves.
Remember the old tv shows where you could see that the entire home was run to take care of dad? The chair, slippers, a hot meal almost ready, the clean, shiny home--all there for dad who was working to provide the needs of the family.
Today's media ridicules that notion and the woman who runs her home and honors her husband that way is mocked and ridiculed by the mainstream media. That's all right. Heaven has always wanted the woman to minister to her husband and family and if God is pleased we shouldn't care what the world thinks. To be friends with them is to be at enmity with God. (I Jn. 2:15-17)
Every so often I have to do a rethinking (renewing my mind) on where my priorities are and how I'm doing on meeting my husband's needs. My flesh is not concerned about this so it takes the Holy Spirit reminding me. (and sometimes my husband's irritation!)
OK, so it's check-up time. It's not the big things, it's the little things. The first question I ask myself is--"If my husband could change anything about me right now what would it be?
I usually immediately can think of a few things that need adjusting in their importance for me.
They aren't big, they're usually small things. You know, how much time I'm spending with other people instead of him (and yes, that includes the telephone, computer and tv).
Or making sure that he doesn't have to ask questions like "Are we having a meal around here tonight?" or "Do I have any __________ clean in this house?" Those are questions that the seasoned wife should see to it her husband never, never asks.
Every man has his little frustrations. Am I making sure that they're removed? My husband's is having to pick his way through anything on the floor. He doesn't care if the dish drainer is loaded but he does care if he can't get through the living room because John has his matchbox racetrack from one end to the other!
I have found that the more I've been consistent with running this household as the "KING of the House" wants it, he is more concerned with making sure the queen has the equipment she wants (not needs) and the more often he is standing at the sink with me helping with the dishes so he has me to himself in the living room or on the front porch sooner! It pays you back!
If you asked your husband this morning, "What can I do to help you today?" What would he say? Are you scared to ask him?
The Proverbs 31 woman is my ultimate role model. I've worked at emulating her for 36 years now and I still don't have all her skills down--but I'm sure working on it! She had won her husband's heart! "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.". Can your husband honestly say that he can safely trust that you won't do one thing today to spoil (make him a prey, a victim, ruined)him? Is he proud of you or embarassed? Is he proud of your housekeeping? Does he feel like he's first in your life or is he running against your friends, your children or even your church?
I am commanded as an "aged woman" to instruct the young women to love your husbands. (Titus 2) I am watching young women making their husbands worse than an infidel (by trying to be the breadwinner of the home), of competing with their husbands in ministry (by thinking they are to have a ministry outside of being his wife, the mother of their children and the keeper at their home), ruling their husbands, (by always knowing better what should be done concerning everything!) and spoiling their husbands (by talking about him, correcting him, neglecting their duties while doing his).
I heard Eleanor Page say one day something to this effect. "Why don't you young ladies learn from the strange woman in Proverbs? She had everything prepared for the man she was going to seduce, she ran out to meet him and told him she had good things waiting on him inside, she was excited to see him, she made him feel good about himself.
Now Mrs. Page made it clear she was up to no good, but she knew how to get him! So today--why not take some time with the Lord and prayerfully ask Him what you need to "lay aside "that's weighing down your being the wife God designed you to be!
I can tell you this--every time I do this the fruit I reap from it makes me know that it's "a good thing".
"teachers of good things"
Titus 2:3b

Love,

Mom

Strawberries From Heaven....

In May I love buying strawberries and making strawberry jam. This year we had just made a move and didn't have any income at the Neal household. Strawberries are definitely a luxury especially when I had a freezer with raspberry and blackberry juice in it that could be made into jam if we were totally out.

But I decided to pray. I asked the Lord to please supply me with some strawberries. Well, strawberry season came and went and we had no strawberries given to us and no extra money to spend on them! I decided that it must not be the Lord's will for me to have strawberries this year and began making jellies and jam out of my juice and berries in the freezer.

So June passes and July is passing and I've forgotten about strawberries! Then lo and behold, our beloved UGO begins to have strawberries for $1.00! We bought some so the children could have fresh fruit and everyone was enjoying them.

One day my hubby came home and he had bought $10 worth of strawberries! He remembered that "yours truly" had really wanted to make strawberry jam. So I chopped them up and made strawberry jam. I put the extra strawberries (chopped up) into bags in my freezer.

Every so often he would bring home $2 or $3 worth of strawberries and my freezer began filling up. I now have made several batches of strawberry jam and have enough in the freezer for about 3 more batches. (Some which I plan to make up this week!)

I was standing at the sink after cleaning up the last batch thinking of how wonderful it was that the Lord gave me a "love pat" from heaven by sending me something that I didn't need but I did want. I also thought how far above He is from our small thinking. I thought the answer was "no" and really it was "yes"--just not the way I envisioned it.

Isaiah 55:8 came to mind--"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." Oh, how true that is! How thankful I am that my God is so much greater than I am and that I can trust Him to plan my life perfectly.

Thank You Lord for my strawberries and thank You for your perfect thoughts and perfect ways!

My God shall supply ALL your needs...

Our family is working very hard at eating healthier this year. So I've been counting WW points for all of us, cooking with lowered fat and higher fiber, and we're working at playing games that make us move instead of think! :) (We have a new ping pong table so that helps.)
Yesterday my husband went to a local store that is comparable to a Big Lots but it's groceries. It is the United Grocery Outlet and we all call it UGO.

After my husband left I realized that I hadn't asked him to check for lowfat breakfast meat at UGO. I have a system that works better than any cell phone call in the world for this. I pray and ask the Lord to prompt my husband to check for the item I've forgotten. This saves a world of irritation on my husband's part for my forgetfulness.
It is one of the most wonderful things the Lord has taught me when it comes to authority. You give the issue to the Lord, ("Thy will be done-not mine.") Then you ask the Lord to prompt your authority if it is truly something that needs attention, and you proceed to trust Him to answer. If the authority doesn't mention it or think of it you know it wasn't important or isn't important yet. (Rest assured I don't ever do this on my own, the Holy Spirit has to nudge me.)

Well, let me go back to the original story. After I prayed I remembered that when the older children were little I would tell them about what I had prayed so they could see the Lord answer. So I stuck my head into the dining room where they were all doing school and told them I'd forgotten to ask their dad to look for healthy breakfast meat and that I had prayed and asked the Lord that their dad would think to look for it.

If you understand a store like UGO you realize that one week they might have Cheesecake Factory Cheesecakes for $3.99 and then you might not see them again or it might be six months before you see them again. If it's a good deal you'd better grab it then!

When my husband popped in the door he started pulling out the items and there was breakfast meat that he'd found a good deal on! He got these sausage links (lowered fat) for 69 cents a box! Needless to say, we've got breakfast covered for a while with low fat sausage links! But the most wonderful part for me was the children seeing that God cares about their diet, and he cares about answering prayers for relatively small things, and that prayer is a vital way to handle relationships.
This all took me back down memory lane on why we have this wonderful grocery (which lowers our grocery bill significantly each week) in our neighborhood! I tell everyone that mentions UGO that God put it in our town as an answer to a prayer I prayed way back in the early 80's.

Back then we were living on a tight, tight budget (If I remember right it was about $125/week and we had four children.) and we literally had to pray in our money for food and shelter and clothing. One day I was listening to Christian radion and I heard them giving statistics on how much food was wasted in America. It was mind-boggling! I simply couldn't believe the amount of food that groceries and restaurants throw away that is edible. I stood right there in my living room and told the Lord that if He would bring it to us we would eat it.

The next few weeks were incredible! My 80-year old neighbor called me and said that someone had told her that the produce man at Marsh grocery would let you buy strawberries with crushed tips, bruised peaches, etc. for a little of nothing. We had to drive over to the store and meet him to get them. We got all kinds of fruit for around $3.00. I'd have to dig my journals out for the exact count but I remember having fresh pies made from the nectarines (I froze some of them) and lots of strawberries and other vegetables to eat.

Then my other elderly neighbor lady got to leaving me little dibs and dabs of vegetables from her garden on my picnic table. It wasn't enough for a meal but each time she'd leave them I'd blanch them and freeze them. I ended up making 26 quarts of vegetable soup from her little love offerings. The other funny part of it was that we ended up using almost all of them at one time when we had a houseful of people come over during a missions conference!

After that a man in our church worked in a meat department told me he'd be glad to bring us the lunch meats that were scheduled for being thrown out because they were outdated. I jumped at the chance and when he'd bring them I'd put them in the freezer. The children's lunches improved overnight.

Then a man who ran a potato chip route asked if we could use their throwaways. Of course we could! I had boxes of chips, cookies and other goodies stacked to THE CEILING in my utility room and ended up sharing with other families who were running a tight ship financially in our church. By that time I was a very excited woman!

Then a lady called me that went to our church and said their freezer had died and she was going to throw everything in it away. Would I want to get some of it to cook up and freeze or can? I made the trip to her house to see what I could salvage. I ended up with fish, meat and lots and lots of other things. I canned most of it and there was a lot to can.

I went to the local day-old-bread outlet and asked what they did with their throwaways. They offered to sell me all I wanted for $4.00. My back seat and trunk were full! I emptied it out in the back yard and had two or three of the other ladies from church come over. We took all of it that had cuts in the bags and laid that in the pile for the chickens. All the rest we divided between ourselves. My freezer was packed when I got done and it not only fed our family but others. We did this on a regular basis till the day we moved from Indiana to Tennessee.

God has been faithful since the day I prayed that prayer to answer it wherever we have lived. Once I heard of a man that was going to till his garden under because he was tired of it. The corn alone was a pickup truck's worth. My husband stopped by a field of green beans they were plowing under (because they had gone a few days over the picking time) and they let us have as many as we wanted. He had to simply uproot the plants and bring plants and all home to stay ahead of the plows! Our carport was literally covered with green beans as tall as my children's waists and we spent several days as a family "fellowshipping" around piles of beans! ) Do you remember this kids?

I have stopped by truck patches and offered to pick beans if I could simply have one bushel of beans for each bushel I picked for them. It was a deal. My little ones sat in the van and watched as I picked two bushels of beans. One for them and one for us.

Once at a youth activity the kitchen staff offered us the leftover sloppy joe mix. Little did they know that it fed us for one week. I became very creative at changing sloppy joe into a variety of meals. All these are true stories and I'm just telling some of them!

When we moved where we live now we were delighted when the UGO store opened. I jokingly said the Lord brought it to town for me! A lot of times it is very high quality (albeit sometimes unusual!) food but it has fed us some wonderful, near-gourmet meals!

When I went on Weight Watchers we were thrilled with the Healthy Choice lunch meat we got every week for anywhere from 33 cents per package to $1.00 per package. In the store the same meat was about $3.00. They also had light cottage cheese, regular cheese, and many other items that were needed on Weight Watchers for a fraction of the cost.

Then in 2007 I had my bout with Clostridium Difficile and because of the damage I could no longer eat the lunch meat and some of the other high fiber foods we had consistently had found at UGO. My husband came home one day from his weekly UGO trip and said, "You know Tami, I think God did put UGO there for you. Since you'd been unable to eat the Healthy Choice lunch meats they've not had them a single time." God does love humor doesn't He? He also loves to show us His love and care.

"Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. It not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" ( Matt. 6:25,26)

I'm afraid when I hear young women complaining and whining about how terrible things are and they even begin to express anger at their husbands for not providing (or they start talking about how they're going to have to go get a job and leave their home and children) I find myself thinking of the verse "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (I Tim. 6:8)
It doesn't even mention a house!

Most of the ones I hear moaning the loudest have high speed internet, two vehicles, cable or satellite tv, cell phones for hubby, themselves and sometimes the kids, they spend enormous amonts on groceries and eat out on a regular basis. I could slash their budgets by $200 per month with just a few adjustments. We don't have a right to complain until our houses contain only what is required to survive and we're without clothing or food for the day. (Remember, we are to pray for "daily bread".

He promises to dress us as beautifully as He dresses the lilies of the field and take better care of our feed than the fowls of the air.

May I recommend that you give Him each and every area of your life? Long ago I gave Him my wardrobe and I've had such beautiful clothing since then. It's been with very little effort on my part on top of that! I have given Him my possessions, my home, my food and my time. He's such a wonderful Keeper for us.

Learn to accept the budget the Lord has put you on and make the best of it. Learn to let Him provide your needs and be willing to roll up your sleeves and use some elbow grease when you see an opportunity. Learn to live within your means instead of sacrificing what really matters to the gods of materialism and carnality. Learn to find joy in all the wonderful free things the Lord has for us. Learn to be creative and use what you have! Ask the Lord today to give you His value system and give you joy in what He provides! Take what He provides and use it to serve Him. It's a wonderful, wonderful life!

January is here...and so are resolutions....

Dear Daughters,

I'm sitting here with my new prayer journal open and comparing it to last year's. Going through my new prayer journal always gives me a a look back. That in turn makes me want to further my obedience and spiritual victory for the new year.
The first week of January I keep pencil and pen close at hand so I can write down projects, goals, etc. for my new year. The Lord's mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:23) and for that I am so very thankful. I am also thankful for the new year. It's like having a clean slate handed to you from the Lord to use as a springboard to "start anew".
The BIGGEST (and really only) lesson I learned from my depression, wilderness years was that all the good that I do can only be performed with joy and energy when the Lord does it for me and in me. I have realized that most of what I was doing in obedience to the Lord (for many, many years) was being done in the power of my flesh. The flesh cannot do it and either rebels or becomes so exhausted it lays down on us. That's what happened to me and when I broke I did a bang-up job of it!
I never really realized how powerful my flesh was until the depression hit and I couldn't stop the fear, worry, unbelief, and emotional pain no matter how I tried. I also never realized how completely Calvary set me free from my every sin till I learned to turn to Him in the midst of my battle and confess to Him my guilt, my complete turning from those sins to Him and His resurrection power and then resting in Him to fulfill the work of Calvary in my life by His work.
Now I have had my BIG battles. I still have my BIG battles. My flesh likes things its own way and when it's got its own way for a long time it doesn't lie down easily. I just recently had a two week battle with the flesh over an issue. However, when I faithfully turned to Him and told Him I wanted no part of that wicked sin and I was relying on Him to give me the victory and freedom that were mine He was right there to meet my need. For about two weeks I had to come to Him over and over when the temptation would hit, but He won the victory for me with Calvary and the flesh lost.
Now that was what seemed to be a diversion from the main topic, but it's really the foundation for resolutions that work. YOU CAN"T keep resolutions in the power of the flesh! In January when every one is in the mood for a "new me" you're surrounded with the support of friends, media hype, and your own brand new gust of energy. However, after just a few days of the flesh rising up and telling you it's always had it's way in that area and does not intend to lie down and do right without a fight you'll be glad I wrote those last few paragraphs! :)
Since my depression I try to stop about twice a year (New Year's and my birthday) and make what I call my "guilt list". These are things that drive me crazy about myself. You could call them my besetting sins, my hard-to-break bad habits, or whatever you want to call them.
After I've made my original list, (and that list includes health habits, use of time, irritations, people problems and how I deal with them, etc.) I mark the ones that I have the power to change. You know there are some problems that we have no authority to change and there are things that are totally out of our control to change. If I cannot change it I must simply give it to the Lord. I use Colossians 4:12 in those situations and pray that all involved will allow the Lord to do a work in their hearts (me included) to stand "perfect and complete in all His will" in the situation.
Then I go through and ask myself on each of them if I have a Biblical reason to feel guilty. Satan loves to accuse the brethren and he will try to make you feel responsible and guilty for everything he can. Make sure you have a specific verse that counts you guilty. If that is true go to the Lord with it, confess it, ask Him to show you His solution and then begin to carry out the plan.
With what I have left that I am responsible personally for and I have a Biblical reason that I need to change then its time to obey.
Let's take our prayer life for example. If my prayer is half-hearted, sounds like a child repeating the alphabet, ("Lord bless mom, dad, sister, brother, all the missionaries, etc., etc., etc.) there's plenty of Bible to let you know things need to change!
Memorize those verses that tell us to pray and pray seriously. Get a good book on prayer and start reading it. Get your spiritual engine fueled up. May I recommend reading Prayer, the Greatest Force on Earth by Thomas Payne as one of the first ones to read. Take your Bible and as you're reading through it start marking the prayers in the Bible with a special color of pencil. Take note of the men God loved and made comments on their prayers. Take note of the mighty works of God that happened as a result of prayer. But most of all, begin praying. Just like any thing else that you want to become an expert in the way to do it is to practice it!
Now let me assure you your flesh will not want to pray. But the Lord has taken care of all that and you are free, free, free from the flesh being in control because of the finished work of Calvary. You don't need to try, strain or endure. You simply need to obey the written word and the Spirit's little loving urgings by His power poured out to you from the mercy seat.
Another thing I strongly recommend you do with all your new resolutions, goals, ideas, etc. is to get them on paper and then lay them out before the Lord and ask Him to take them all and show you which ones are your ideas and which ones are His ideas.
I'm an idea person. For every suggestion I have hundreds of wonderful little ideas pop into my head. I know where the book, article, or online page is to feed my ideas. However, I've wasted a lot of precious time by not thinking through a project I started. In carrying out many of my projects I got my priorities out of order and I neglected God-given responsibilities to do a Tami-project.
You can only spread yourself so thin becoming the "new you". Look very carefully at your goals and make sure they're going to make you spiritually stronger, that you'll be ministering within your God-given realm (our ministry heart is our home) and that as a result of carrying out your goals you'll be a better child of God, wife, mother, homekeeper, and church member.
If getting yourself in shape means you'll be leaving the children to go to a gym 5 days a week you might want to consider rethinking the thing. You can get yourself in shape with two milk jugs with water in them for weights and toddlers laughing as they try to do workouts with mom.
However, the checking account, the babies, and the Lord will all be in better shape if you do it His way--keeping at home! (Titus 2)
If you've set a goal to help your husband with the tight finances but you choose to neglect that he is worse than an infidel if he doesn't provide for his family, that you are to be a keeper at home (with a full list of duties that will keep a saint working from daylight till dusk) and that your children's Godly training is you and your husband's responsibility not the local church's or the government's, than you've not only made matters worse but you also will have to do the entire thing in the power of your flesh because the Holy Spirit will not minister Christ to you for that new job you took to help with finances!
It would be far better to take a hard look at what the Bible gives a woman to do and learn to be a thrifty wife and mother. You also need to ask the Lord to give you His value system and not the world's! The Lord is totally unimpressed with rather you have the newest cell phone, the right brand of purse, or the "world-approved" year and make of car! My husband often says that we don't need more money we need to learn to make sure we've learned to live within the budget the Lord has given us.
All of the above are just some motherly cautions. Some of them I've learned as I searched the scriptures and applied them to my life and some I've learned by trying it my way over and over until I finally figured out that somewhere I wasn't listening to Him and His word. It's much better to hear the truth and apply it before the sin has left a scar in our life or the lives of those we love.
As an older woman I see so many young women with good desires and goals but they try to carry them out the way the world does. It is in all of us to try to find an escape to our sins and the curses that accompany them--but there is truly only one cure---Calvary!
I pray that each of your resolutions that the Holy Spirit has put in your heart come to be a truth applied in your life this year.

Love,

Mom

A visit from the grandchildren...

My husband went to Indiana to see his mother at the end of May and on his way home he picked up four precious little ones (all but baby Macey) and brought them home to Grandma Tami (and Grandpa Gary) to enjoy for a few days. And enjoy them we did!

I had baked all day getting things ready for them. Everything was baked for grandkids and for Sunday except for the Marble Toll House Squares. These have to be baked by Audrey and her grandma. Audrey is three and when she was still a little thing she and I had our first baking time together.

This day was a precious memory for me. With Marble Toll House Squares you sprinkle the chocolate chips on top of the cookies at the last and then swirl them--hence the word "marble" in their name! Well, I would hand Audrey a handful of chips to put on top of them and she would start to sprinkle them on and then decide to eat them instead. It took some convincing (and quite a few bites) to get the chips where they were intended. Since then Audrey uses the word "baking" to mean "make Marble Toll House Squares".
On her last visit I made the mistake of thinking we could bake something else and within 20 minutes of finishing regular chocolate chip cookies she was asking me when we were going to bake! I have learned that when Audrey asks to bake she is talking about Marble Toll House Squares. She asks me as we are baking them when we're going to get to the part where we sprinkle the chips on top. At the end of a busy Saturday the children were fed Pizzaburgers and fries and Audrey and I had a table full of goodies. Some to eat themselves, some to share in Sunday School and some for our wonderful Sunday dinner. We had Peanut Butter Bars, Hot Fudge Cake, Cinnamon Twist Pound Cake and Marble Toll House Squares. The children always play so well with our children and I enjoyed hearing giggles and talking. I enjoyed sitting on the carport and watching Isaiah learning to ride a little bicycle, (after several crashes!), watching the children play in water and watching them eat supper outside in the warm early summer sunshine. They even were thrilled and amazed when grandma joined them in a game of wiffle ball!

We ended the week by celebrating our Cierra's 13th birthday in the Smoky Mountains at Powell Farms. Jimmy (our son-in-law) was going to be preaching his niece's wedding there and Alicia had found out the farm was available. This place is a child's dream come true because of a private pool in the back yard! It is a perfect place for a family that swims in their culottes and slick pants :)
Thursday we were to head to Powell Farm with the kids and grandkids and the weather forecast said there was a 90% chance of thunderstorms all day with the high only at 77 degrees. Not good for children's morale when they've been sky high over swimming in a real pool!

Thursday morning I prayed and asked the Lord to let it rain all around us but to please keep the storms away from Powell Farms and let us have sunshine. I told the kids about it and they told me that their grandpa had prayed at breakfast that it wouldn't rain.

When we got there--guess what---sunshine! While we were getting them a hamburger at McDonald's one of them said, "Hey, grandma prayed that it wouldn't rain and the sun is shining!" Another one said, "And grandpa prayed at breakfast!"

I told Gary, "That is what I want to be remembered for by our grandchildren--that when grandpa and grandma pray the Lord answers!"

All day we watched storms around us. Grey clouds, thunder, but it didn't rain a drop on us till it was late in the evening and time to call it a day. The sun stayed on us most the day and we had the most wonderful time!

We enjoyed being with Jimmy and Alicia and their children, Gary's dad and AllaDean, his brother Jerry (who just got saved in May!) and our own sweet children that are at home. How thankful I am for this time with my grandchildren that the Lord gave me this summer! Thank You Lord!

Lessons from my pastor husband...

When I was a girl I remember laying in bed and listening to my pastor dad counseling people with the word of God. He had no idea that someone else was getting counseling at the same time. I would watch these people leave our home and either follow the counsel or ignore it. Most of them didn't listen and I watched as their lives fell apart. I remember making decisions based on what I heard and saw.
Now I'm 53 years old and I'm still listening to the man of God counsel people. My husband seems to have a lot of people call him for their counsel. This week I overheard him talking to someone about "dying to self" and living in obedience to God.
Now I've heard that message again and again but this time as I heard him it came home. He kept repeating that we cannot back God in a corner and agree to do what He wants if He'll do what we want. It doesn't work that way. We do what God wants because He's God and that's the only way that will make life work for us.
People will agree that their life is a wreck, they'll agree they need help, they'll agree that they are at the end of themselves--but my husband made the comment that until we want God worse than we want anything else in the world we won't see that there is no bargaining with God or making deals with Him.
He said it's called "dying to self" or the "crucified life". I stood at the sink later realizing that I still have areas where I need to delete the words "I want" from my life. It doesn't matter what I want. It matters what God wants and it matters what the authority he's put in my life (my husband) wants.
I remembered years ago when a lady came to us constantly wanting help because her husband had left her for another woman. She had been fasting for days and days and she had given up her improper clothing, wrong music, and other "questionable" things she'd allowed in her life. I was impressed and couldn't understand why my husband was what I thought-- "very hard on her".
In the counseling we had both realized that she had been a very strong-willed woman and both she and her husband had been very carnal Christians. Authority had not been a pleasant thing for her but it appeared to me that she was finally ready to surrender to it.
One day I finally asked my husband why he was so unimpressed after she was making so many changes in her life. He told me that her attitude was one of holding God's arm behind his back and making deals with Him. She felt God "owed her" a restored marriage because she was finally doing what she'd known all along He wanted. He also told me that when God didn't give her what she wanted (and God was under no obligation to her to do it) that everything would go back to where it was and she'd be angry at God for not giving her what she'd "paid" Him for.
Sure enough, when the husband married someone else that woman became a major problem in the church. All her new standards disappeared and her bitterness and anger was spread everywhere!
Now I knew my husband was right but it was like it finally fell into place for me this week. How I pray that when I obey the Lord it is because of just that--He is Lord. I pray that when I start to tell the Lord what I want I'll be prompted to stop and add to that--"once I am certain that this is what You want, Lord."
Thank You Lord that I'm still receiving counsel from You and thank You for a man of God who faithfully delivers Your word to those who talk to him.

Trusting Him in the dark...

Today is one of those days when I have to shut myself off to human feelings and rely completely on the fact that if the Lord says something to me it is true. I often think of my dad talking how a pilot must learn to trust his instrument panel and not his feelings if he gets disoriented while flying.
Sometimes the events of life are crushing to our emotions. Emotions are just as much a part of our depraved humanity as the body of flesh and bones or the mind. They can get wounded or damaged and when that happens we must lean with all our might on the words of our Beloved Saviour. If He says He is with me always, He is- rather I can sense His presence or not.
One of my favorite verses that the Lord gave me through my years of depression was this, -"Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness and hath not light? let him trust in the name of the Lord , and stay upon his God." (Isa. 50:10)
I'm reading The Hiding Place aloud to the children and every time I read it I remind myself that I should read it more often than I do. We must learn to trust God that He is good all the time. He is good when we feel wonderful and blessed and He is good when we cannot begin to understand what He is doing in our lives.
As I read it I am reminded that if He asks me to go through a dark place He will enable me to walk through that dark place. I don't have to try to toughen myself up for it or prepare myself for it. All I need to do is lean hard on Him as we walk through it together. I must take the initiative to obey and trust Him to give me the strength to obey.
Every time I obey by the power of the Spirit I have partaken of the life of Christ. This is the well of water He promised that would be springing up in us.
Many times when I pray I find myself getting upset emotionally as I bring seemingly impossible requests to the Lord. The Lord taught me a lesson through my 9 year old son about this. John was memorizing Phil. 4:6,7 in school and he asked me to explain what it meant.
I asked him if he ever worried about rather we would feed him. He said no. I asked him why and he said because he knew daddy took care of making sure we had food. I asked him if he ever worried about having clothes or a place to sleep. His answer again was no, that daddy made sure we had that.
I asked him if he really wanted something for his upcoming birthday would he be afraid to ask his dad for it. Of course, he said he wouldn't.
Then I told him that's how our heavenly Father wanted us to be. To trust Him just like we trusted our earthly fathers to care for us when we were children. Just to come to our Father and give him our concerns and request and then trust Him that He's going to take care of it for us.
Since I've explained that to John the Lord has reminded me to practice what I taught! When I go to pray and feel myself churning emotionally, I am reminded to pray, thank the Lord that He cares more about it than I do and then walk off and leave it with Him. He's going to take care of it because He said He is. That must be enough for me.
So today as I bring a friend to the Lord that just had almost half of her face removed because of cancer, andI bring my precious daughter with MS to the Lord, (with 5 small children and a new baby on the way), loved ones that seem to be straying further and further from their spiritual moorings, personal concerns and lots of little foxes that like to nibble at my vine, I know that I can come to the Lord and pour it all out on Him and He'll bear my burdens for me.
May I urge anyone reading this to let the Lord teach you through your sufferings to believe His every word as literally as they are written to us. No matter what rages around you in your circumstances that seems to make your case the exception don't believe your senses--believe the Word.
The result is the passage I call my "post-depression" verse- Song of Solomon 8:5-"Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?"
It's a wonderful place to be!