It is now 1:30 a.m. and I should be in bed asleep--I'm not. I am sitting up waiting on some pain medication to give me relief so I can go to bed. This is not the night to be having problems with my side pain but nevertheless here I am.
We're in the process of moving. We had planned on being at Swan Pond the rest of our lives unless the Lord said otherwise, but after much prayer and deliberation my husband knew it was time for us to leave here. It's been difficult for me and for our children because we love it here.
The people of Swan Pond Baptist Church have been like family to me and leaving your family is not easy.
When we came here I was desperate for a church family that loved and accepted their pastor's wife and this church did just that. I have made some of the best friends of my lifetime here at this pastorate. Thank You Lord for giving me this time and these friends.
Over the past few weeks I've walked down memory lane as I've walked through my house packing boxes. Long forgotten "treasures" have shown up as I have gone through closets and cabinets. I've read letters and notes from my children and had to wipe a few tears. I've handled shelf items that brought back a sweet memory of the person who bought them for me.
I've relived our days here as I walked through my yard. I'm going to miss watching the Rose of Sharon bloom, watching my roses blooming and smelling honeysuckle in May. I'm going to miss listening to my children playing wiffle ball in our front yard in the evenings, and listening to the sounds of summer while I sit on the carport and drink coffee and watch the sun go down.
I'm going to miss this house. It's been a house I've enjoyed living in and learned to love. We've had many, many wonderful hours of family fun and fellowship with others here.
Right now we are in limbo. My husband wasn't planning on making a change in pastorates and so we've rented a home for now and will be looking for what the Lord wants for us in the future.
He'll be looking for a job to supply our needs (tentmaking, I guess Paul would say) until the Lord opens the door for us and we know where He wants us next.
When he first went into full-time ministry we actually had days we prayed in our daily bread we were on such a tight budget. Only Niki has clear memories of those days and the miraculous ways the Lord sent ravens!
Then in 1995 when we had an unexpected ministry change all four of our older children watched the Lord supply our food, exact amounts of money needed for Asher's constant medical needs and even Christmas gifts. It helped me to confirm that we made the right decision for our family and it helped the children know that God is real and He cares for our smallest need.
I have wondered if the Lord has allowed this to happen so our younger three can see Him meet our needs even when there isn't a steady paycheck coming in. It's good for all of us but especially for our children.
So tonight I'm sick tired after filling boxes and boxes and then looking in cabinets and shelves and wondering where all this stuff came from! Most of what we're packing will be stored until we know what the Lord has planned for us.
Years ago I gave the Lord everything---my time, my clothes, my possessions and especially where he wanted me to live. I've lived mostly in parsonages since that day and He's been so good to provide us with homes better than we could afford on our own.
Tomorrow my furniture goes to a lovely rented home in Crossville. It has a shaded yard, a big kitchen, beautiful wood flooring, and best of all my precious family will be there with me. I'm already looking forward to making it warm and cozy and filling its kitchen with the aroma of fresh baked bread.
I call our parsonages "Ebenezer"..."hitherto hath the Lord led us". It's like an adventure! So, come along with us as we enter the next chapter of our lives. I'm sure the Lord has a wonderful story for us as we follow Him!
With love,
Mom
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Springtime is coming...
Dear Daughters,
Today I got out our paper lion and lamb that John and I made together for a craft when he was a little fellow and hung them on the fridge. We took a vote to see who thought March would come in as a lion and who thought it would come in as a lamb. John and his dad think that it will come in as a lamb and Asher, Cierra and I voted for the lion. None of us had seen a weather forecast but where we live it wouldn't matter--the weather predictions are only right about half the time! :)
When we lived in Indiana the child who was the first robin got a Baskin Robbin's ice cream cone for a prize. I drew a picture of a robin and hung it on the fridge and the first one to see it had to bring me the paper robin as soon as they saw it. It was a family traditon that they all loved. In Tennessee robins are not as rare a sight as they were in Indiana so the tradition had to be changed a bit.
I love daffodils and my husband brought me home a beautiful bouquet of them a couple weeks ago. I am an avid A.A. Milne fan and love his spring poem in one of the Christopher Robin books (and the illustration)
She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
"Winter is dead."
~AA Milne
I already am looking forward to their blooms here in Tennessee. Those and the phlox are just a couple of my favorites. I love the dark green of the pines against the redbud trees, I love the pale green of the trees when they are first budding. I love watching the fruit trees and the Bradford pears bud and then bloom. I love how warm the air is on a perfect, sunny spring day. I can already hear the change in the birds songs outside. They know it is coming!
May is my very favorite month in Tennessee and one of the things that I love is stepping out of a church service and smelling the honeysuckle. For some reason you notice it the most as the sun goes down. Where we live they are in the ditchlines and the air is heavy with the wonderful sweet aroma.
I put my snowmen away last week and pulled out window goodies with paler colors and with flowers on them. My little rabbit with her umbrella over her shoulder, paler candles and a birdhouse.
One evening I went through my recipe files and pulled out the recipes for lighter foods, and desserts made with strawberries and lemon instead of caramel and chocolate. Certain foods go with the cold days of winter and other ones make me think of spring. I rotate my recipes with the seasons and hope it gives my family something to look forward to.
John loves science. He also loves planting things. He's been given the little flower bed by the carport and he and I go through seed catalogs and plan, then head to the greenhouse and make our purchases. This year we'll be in the process of moving just as John is supposed to be planting his garden plot. I've been thinking that potted flowers will be the solution and keep things as "same" as possible for something he looks forward to each year.
Spring is the season when new life springs up when everything looks dead. I'm very thankful for that. I'm thankful that God gives us this after the dark days of winter. Just as sunrise comes after the darkest hour of night, so spring follows the dark winter.
I hope that you're busy planning a wonderful spring for your family. Each time I'm tempted to skip something that we all enjoy I'm reminded that my children will only be this age one time and I ask myself what is it I want them to remember when I am gone. That gives me the motivation I need to do it one more time!
Happy "Almost Springtime" everyone!
Love,
Mom
Today I got out our paper lion and lamb that John and I made together for a craft when he was a little fellow and hung them on the fridge. We took a vote to see who thought March would come in as a lion and who thought it would come in as a lamb. John and his dad think that it will come in as a lamb and Asher, Cierra and I voted for the lion. None of us had seen a weather forecast but where we live it wouldn't matter--the weather predictions are only right about half the time! :)
When we lived in Indiana the child who was the first robin got a Baskin Robbin's ice cream cone for a prize. I drew a picture of a robin and hung it on the fridge and the first one to see it had to bring me the paper robin as soon as they saw it. It was a family traditon that they all loved. In Tennessee robins are not as rare a sight as they were in Indiana so the tradition had to be changed a bit.
I love daffodils and my husband brought me home a beautiful bouquet of them a couple weeks ago. I am an avid A.A. Milne fan and love his spring poem in one of the Christopher Robin books (and the illustration)
She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
"Winter is dead."
~AA Milne
I already am looking forward to their blooms here in Tennessee. Those and the phlox are just a couple of my favorites. I love the dark green of the pines against the redbud trees, I love the pale green of the trees when they are first budding. I love watching the fruit trees and the Bradford pears bud and then bloom. I love how warm the air is on a perfect, sunny spring day. I can already hear the change in the birds songs outside. They know it is coming!
May is my very favorite month in Tennessee and one of the things that I love is stepping out of a church service and smelling the honeysuckle. For some reason you notice it the most as the sun goes down. Where we live they are in the ditchlines and the air is heavy with the wonderful sweet aroma.
I put my snowmen away last week and pulled out window goodies with paler colors and with flowers on them. My little rabbit with her umbrella over her shoulder, paler candles and a birdhouse.
One evening I went through my recipe files and pulled out the recipes for lighter foods, and desserts made with strawberries and lemon instead of caramel and chocolate. Certain foods go with the cold days of winter and other ones make me think of spring. I rotate my recipes with the seasons and hope it gives my family something to look forward to.
John loves science. He also loves planting things. He's been given the little flower bed by the carport and he and I go through seed catalogs and plan, then head to the greenhouse and make our purchases. This year we'll be in the process of moving just as John is supposed to be planting his garden plot. I've been thinking that potted flowers will be the solution and keep things as "same" as possible for something he looks forward to each year.
Spring is the season when new life springs up when everything looks dead. I'm very thankful for that. I'm thankful that God gives us this after the dark days of winter. Just as sunrise comes after the darkest hour of night, so spring follows the dark winter.
I hope that you're busy planning a wonderful spring for your family. Each time I'm tempted to skip something that we all enjoy I'm reminded that my children will only be this age one time and I ask myself what is it I want them to remember when I am gone. That gives me the motivation I need to do it one more time!
Happy "Almost Springtime" everyone!
Love,
Mom
Monday, February 15, 2010
Let's Talk About Depression....
Dear Daughters,
This is the time of year that many people struggle with feelings of being overwhelmed or having a sadness that they cannot explain and that will not leave them. They might wake up feeling something is wrong or have unusual fears.
This will not be a seminar on depression as much as a summary, but I am not a stranger to this dark enemy. My walk with it began in 1989. I was a busy pastor's wife with an extremely happy and productive life. I had always been full of enthusiasm for life and full of joy. I also had a life filled with stress, high expectations and the usual problems that all of us have in life.
I had never sat down and made a list of just how high my stress level was, but later when I was wondering how I had got so deep into the valley of depression I did make a list and it was a surprise to see 17 major issues (that I could think of) going on in my life.
After going through my wilderness years I understand so much more about the physical side of depression. I wish I had known then what I do now and had been better educated. It would have cost my family a lot less than it did. However, I can't go back in time and the Lord allowed me to walk the valley with Him and learn. I have decided to be a very vocal voice in our arena of ministry so that some other young wife and mother might come through it with less scars and regrets.
When I use the word depression I am using it to cover a large area--it would include any and all of what we use for emotional brokenness. I do not know all the proper medical terms. I do know the anguish I went through and the pain I suffered from people not understanding that being emotionally broken is just as painful as being physically broken.
As I've studied my Bible and the many passages that describe what we call emotional or mental illness I am amazed when I hear glib statements like "faith and fear cannot walk together" or "That would be solved if they would just get right with the Lord." Psalms 56:3 tells us "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Apparently David had faith and fear at the same time. Job, David, Elijah and Paul all had times when they despaired even of life they were so overwhelmed. Historically, many mighty men and women of God have walked this valley and come through it giving God the glory.
Learning to live with being emotionally vulnerable is like learning to manage asthma (or any other chronic medical condition). You must learn what triggers it and what will keep it in control.
Here's some lessons that I've learned that have kept me stable for several years now:
I. Drop the mask, but get your counsel from those who understand and can truly help. Don't try to hide that you're not well. Admit it to yourself and get a complete physical and talk to your doctor. I spent five years trying to just get well spiritually so I wouldn't be depressed. Within six weeks of taking medication (thanks to a wise family doctor) I was beginning to come out of a depression that had gotten so severe I couldn't function any longer. Refusing medication was a result of listening to well-meaning people who gave terrible advice.
A person who is dying will grasp at any straw to live and that's the point I was to. I believed anything I was told that might help, but none of it helped, in fact, it made me worse.
If you had cancer you wouldn't walk around taking a survey on what to do about it and trying every home remedy. You would want to find people that knew about cancer and had a reasonable success rate.
Refuse to listen to those who tell you just to "pick yourself up by your boot straps", "get hold of yourself", or "quit being so selfish". They are not your allies in the treatment of depression. I believe there are probably people who truly loved a depressed person and thought they were giving them the truth that actually had a part in their depression becoming worse or even they're becoming suicidal. If you've never experienced the agony of clinical depression don't give advice unless it is "let's get you some help" or "I will be here for you; we will get through this."
Somehow being emotionally ill has a stigma attached to it that makes us shrink back from admitting that we are a Christian and we are depressed--severely and dangerously depressed.
Trying to hide it will not help, and self help is also not a good idea. Once I made the comment to my doctor that I didn't need his help on my emotional illness, that once I got the spiritual side worked out that would take care of itself.
He very wisely said, "That's true, you might have some spiritual things that need dealt with. Right now you're not thinking clearly enough to do that, so why don't you let me get you some medical help where you can think a little clearer so you can deal with the spiritual issues you need to deal with." I knew he was telling me the truth--I was too confused and ill to even think clearly and it was time to get some help.
If you were having an appendicitis about to rupture would you tell your doctor you needed time to think about it before you let them do surgery? Do we pray and pray asking the Lord to give us wisdom on rather we should get eyeglasses when our eyes fail? Do we refuse blood pressure medicine or insulin if we need them? No, we realize that living in a world of sin that our bodies are going to decline and die and we're happy to take anything to improve the quality of life in a sinful, decaying body. However, when we have a breakdown in our emotions or mental health we instantly think it is a sin to reach out for medical help.
Get educated. My body doesn't seem to be able to rebuild seritonin easily. My doctor has taught me to get sunshine this time of the year. Light in the eye is essential. (There's an entire Bible study here if you want to do it!) Walking is also essential because it helps the endorphins to kick in. Eating certain foods (like turkey) is helpful. So is the right medicine if it is needed.
I had to take medications for several years. I am a strong advocate for medication when it is needed--along with learning management techniques. Learning the management techniques is what allowed me to need less and less medicine and finally to be completely medicine free. (Although I would take it again if needed.)
II. Find your triggers. About twice each year I make a list of my "triggers". I list everything I can think of that burdens me or wearies me. I go through that list and ask if it is even a real problem and then I ask myself if there is any way I can be a solution to that problem.
If it is something I truly need to deal with I try to decide how I can change it and break it down into small manageable goals. If it is something I am not personally responsible for I turn it into a prayer request. I also make a list of what I feel guilty about and ask myself if it is real guilt (put on me by the Holy Spirit) or if it something Satan (or even my flesh) is trying to make me feel guilty about.
If I wake up and have that heavy feeling it is usually triggered by a dream or thought. I call those thoughts my "downward spiral" thoughts. I have learned that if I keep focusing on those thoughts I'm going to ruin my day(s) and the day(s) of those I love. So I take them to the Lord and ask Him to put the blood over them. (which He instantly does) They might leave for a few moments and then come back. Again, I take them to the Lord and tell Him I know it isn't pleasing to Him to think of things that destroy me and my family and ask Him to put the blood over them because I want no part of them. (which He instantly does) I've had battles that lasted hours and even days, but little by little when I faithfully refuse to dwell on those things that would destroy me and my family the thoughts come less and less.
III. Unload the burdens. God's prescription for Elijah was rest and food being delivered to him. If you're depressed you are sick. It's time to get down to bare bones basic living. Stay in your Bible, stay on your knees, stay in church. However, drop anything and all extras out of your life.
That doesn't mean turn into a recluse or drop all spiritual activity and keep up the mind-boggling pace everywhere else. It means living a simple life. Simple food, simple chores, simple lifestyle.
God has a plan for each of us that is outlined in the word of God. Find out what you're doing that isn't your job and drop that first. God has our roles clearly outlined--don't drop that. If you're carrying a role that isn't yours--get rid of that.
It is healing to declutter your life. If every time you walk through a room something in that room weighs you down--remove it. If you have relationships you're maintaining just because of what people think and they're not good for you--remove them.
I have learned to live my life by a fairly rigid schedule and to use lists. For me, that is therapeutic--it keeps life in control. My personality requires that so I don't become overwhelmed. I have to prioritize everything and give chores a day. If I dust on Thursday's I can deal with seeing dust on Wednesday.
I am an idea person. I have lots and lots of ideas and I love making them come alive. However, the Lord has had to teach me to take my ideas to Him and ask Him, "Here's my ideas. Which ones are mine and which are Yours?" You can't do everything you think of without wearing yourself out. He only gives you the grace and strength for the ones that are His!
Now this is only scratching the surface. Let me say loudly and clearly that if you are depressed you need to get medical/professional help. It is not something to play around with. God is the only One who truly knows what is wrong and what the answer is. I'm so thankful that as a Christian we can cry out to Him and know He hears and cares. He promises that He does---that makes it so.
However, He also gives help through human instruments and there are many shipwrecks and fatalities in this area because of well-meaning misguided instruction. Read your Bible and mark the words that describe emotional or mental pain. Start in the book of Psalms. Find the meanings of the word "oppressed", "overwhelmed", and "troubled". How David understood being broken emotionally and troubled mentally.
I pray that this short summary might be a light for someone who is struggling and cannot bear the thought of another day in the agony of depression. Don't lose hope--you can come out of this wilderness and better and stronger person.
As I began coming out of my valley this is the verse the Lord gave me--"Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved." (Song of Solomon 8:5a) It is my prayer that my Beloved will use this post to bring others out of the valley of depression with a new love for the One we can lean on and receive strength from.
With love,
Mom
This is the time of year that many people struggle with feelings of being overwhelmed or having a sadness that they cannot explain and that will not leave them. They might wake up feeling something is wrong or have unusual fears.
This will not be a seminar on depression as much as a summary, but I am not a stranger to this dark enemy. My walk with it began in 1989. I was a busy pastor's wife with an extremely happy and productive life. I had always been full of enthusiasm for life and full of joy. I also had a life filled with stress, high expectations and the usual problems that all of us have in life.
I had never sat down and made a list of just how high my stress level was, but later when I was wondering how I had got so deep into the valley of depression I did make a list and it was a surprise to see 17 major issues (that I could think of) going on in my life.
After going through my wilderness years I understand so much more about the physical side of depression. I wish I had known then what I do now and had been better educated. It would have cost my family a lot less than it did. However, I can't go back in time and the Lord allowed me to walk the valley with Him and learn. I have decided to be a very vocal voice in our arena of ministry so that some other young wife and mother might come through it with less scars and regrets.
When I use the word depression I am using it to cover a large area--it would include any and all of what we use for emotional brokenness. I do not know all the proper medical terms. I do know the anguish I went through and the pain I suffered from people not understanding that being emotionally broken is just as painful as being physically broken.
As I've studied my Bible and the many passages that describe what we call emotional or mental illness I am amazed when I hear glib statements like "faith and fear cannot walk together" or "That would be solved if they would just get right with the Lord." Psalms 56:3 tells us "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Apparently David had faith and fear at the same time. Job, David, Elijah and Paul all had times when they despaired even of life they were so overwhelmed. Historically, many mighty men and women of God have walked this valley and come through it giving God the glory.
Learning to live with being emotionally vulnerable is like learning to manage asthma (or any other chronic medical condition). You must learn what triggers it and what will keep it in control.
Here's some lessons that I've learned that have kept me stable for several years now:
I. Drop the mask, but get your counsel from those who understand and can truly help. Don't try to hide that you're not well. Admit it to yourself and get a complete physical and talk to your doctor. I spent five years trying to just get well spiritually so I wouldn't be depressed. Within six weeks of taking medication (thanks to a wise family doctor) I was beginning to come out of a depression that had gotten so severe I couldn't function any longer. Refusing medication was a result of listening to well-meaning people who gave terrible advice.
A person who is dying will grasp at any straw to live and that's the point I was to. I believed anything I was told that might help, but none of it helped, in fact, it made me worse.
If you had cancer you wouldn't walk around taking a survey on what to do about it and trying every home remedy. You would want to find people that knew about cancer and had a reasonable success rate.
Refuse to listen to those who tell you just to "pick yourself up by your boot straps", "get hold of yourself", or "quit being so selfish". They are not your allies in the treatment of depression. I believe there are probably people who truly loved a depressed person and thought they were giving them the truth that actually had a part in their depression becoming worse or even they're becoming suicidal. If you've never experienced the agony of clinical depression don't give advice unless it is "let's get you some help" or "I will be here for you; we will get through this."
Somehow being emotionally ill has a stigma attached to it that makes us shrink back from admitting that we are a Christian and we are depressed--severely and dangerously depressed.
Trying to hide it will not help, and self help is also not a good idea. Once I made the comment to my doctor that I didn't need his help on my emotional illness, that once I got the spiritual side worked out that would take care of itself.
He very wisely said, "That's true, you might have some spiritual things that need dealt with. Right now you're not thinking clearly enough to do that, so why don't you let me get you some medical help where you can think a little clearer so you can deal with the spiritual issues you need to deal with." I knew he was telling me the truth--I was too confused and ill to even think clearly and it was time to get some help.
If you were having an appendicitis about to rupture would you tell your doctor you needed time to think about it before you let them do surgery? Do we pray and pray asking the Lord to give us wisdom on rather we should get eyeglasses when our eyes fail? Do we refuse blood pressure medicine or insulin if we need them? No, we realize that living in a world of sin that our bodies are going to decline and die and we're happy to take anything to improve the quality of life in a sinful, decaying body. However, when we have a breakdown in our emotions or mental health we instantly think it is a sin to reach out for medical help.
Get educated. My body doesn't seem to be able to rebuild seritonin easily. My doctor has taught me to get sunshine this time of the year. Light in the eye is essential. (There's an entire Bible study here if you want to do it!) Walking is also essential because it helps the endorphins to kick in. Eating certain foods (like turkey) is helpful. So is the right medicine if it is needed.
I had to take medications for several years. I am a strong advocate for medication when it is needed--along with learning management techniques. Learning the management techniques is what allowed me to need less and less medicine and finally to be completely medicine free. (Although I would take it again if needed.)
II. Find your triggers. About twice each year I make a list of my "triggers". I list everything I can think of that burdens me or wearies me. I go through that list and ask if it is even a real problem and then I ask myself if there is any way I can be a solution to that problem.
If it is something I truly need to deal with I try to decide how I can change it and break it down into small manageable goals. If it is something I am not personally responsible for I turn it into a prayer request. I also make a list of what I feel guilty about and ask myself if it is real guilt (put on me by the Holy Spirit) or if it something Satan (or even my flesh) is trying to make me feel guilty about.
If I wake up and have that heavy feeling it is usually triggered by a dream or thought. I call those thoughts my "downward spiral" thoughts. I have learned that if I keep focusing on those thoughts I'm going to ruin my day(s) and the day(s) of those I love. So I take them to the Lord and ask Him to put the blood over them. (which He instantly does) They might leave for a few moments and then come back. Again, I take them to the Lord and tell Him I know it isn't pleasing to Him to think of things that destroy me and my family and ask Him to put the blood over them because I want no part of them. (which He instantly does) I've had battles that lasted hours and even days, but little by little when I faithfully refuse to dwell on those things that would destroy me and my family the thoughts come less and less.
III. Unload the burdens. God's prescription for Elijah was rest and food being delivered to him. If you're depressed you are sick. It's time to get down to bare bones basic living. Stay in your Bible, stay on your knees, stay in church. However, drop anything and all extras out of your life.
That doesn't mean turn into a recluse or drop all spiritual activity and keep up the mind-boggling pace everywhere else. It means living a simple life. Simple food, simple chores, simple lifestyle.
God has a plan for each of us that is outlined in the word of God. Find out what you're doing that isn't your job and drop that first. God has our roles clearly outlined--don't drop that. If you're carrying a role that isn't yours--get rid of that.
It is healing to declutter your life. If every time you walk through a room something in that room weighs you down--remove it. If you have relationships you're maintaining just because of what people think and they're not good for you--remove them.
I have learned to live my life by a fairly rigid schedule and to use lists. For me, that is therapeutic--it keeps life in control. My personality requires that so I don't become overwhelmed. I have to prioritize everything and give chores a day. If I dust on Thursday's I can deal with seeing dust on Wednesday.
I am an idea person. I have lots and lots of ideas and I love making them come alive. However, the Lord has had to teach me to take my ideas to Him and ask Him, "Here's my ideas. Which ones are mine and which are Yours?" You can't do everything you think of without wearing yourself out. He only gives you the grace and strength for the ones that are His!
Now this is only scratching the surface. Let me say loudly and clearly that if you are depressed you need to get medical/professional help. It is not something to play around with. God is the only One who truly knows what is wrong and what the answer is. I'm so thankful that as a Christian we can cry out to Him and know He hears and cares. He promises that He does---that makes it so.
However, He also gives help through human instruments and there are many shipwrecks and fatalities in this area because of well-meaning misguided instruction. Read your Bible and mark the words that describe emotional or mental pain. Start in the book of Psalms. Find the meanings of the word "oppressed", "overwhelmed", and "troubled". How David understood being broken emotionally and troubled mentally.
I pray that this short summary might be a light for someone who is struggling and cannot bear the thought of another day in the agony of depression. Don't lose hope--you can come out of this wilderness and better and stronger person.
As I began coming out of my valley this is the verse the Lord gave me--"Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved." (Song of Solomon 8:5a) It is my prayer that my Beloved will use this post to bring others out of the valley of depression with a new love for the One we can lean on and receive strength from.
With love,
Mom
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
To My Child: Things I Can and Cannot Do
This was in Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle's mailout. It's a keeper...
I can share your life,
But I cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things,
But I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions,
But I cannot always lead you.
I can allow you freedom,
But I cannot account for it.
I can teach you to worship,
But I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong,
But I cannot decide for you.
I can give you love,
But I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share,
But I cnnot make you unselfish.
I can teach you to respect,
But I cannot force you to show honor.
I can tell you the facts of life,
But I cannot build your reputation.
I can tell you about lofty goals,
But I cannot acheve them for you.
I can teach you to obey,
But I cannot answer for your actions.
I can warn you about sins,
But I cannot make your morals.
I can love you as my child,
But I cannot place you in God's family.
I can teach you about Jesus,
But I cannot make Him your Saviour.
I can teach you about prayer,
But I cannot make you pray.
I can tell you how to live,
But I cannot give you eternal life.
-Author Unknown
Proverbs 23:19 "Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way."
How true! Dear child,
How I pray you will allow Him to work in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure and to stand perfect and complete in all His will.
Love,
Your mom
I can share your life,
But I cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things,
But I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions,
But I cannot always lead you.
I can allow you freedom,
But I cannot account for it.
I can teach you to worship,
But I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong,
But I cannot decide for you.
I can give you love,
But I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share,
But I cnnot make you unselfish.
I can teach you to respect,
But I cannot force you to show honor.
I can tell you the facts of life,
But I cannot build your reputation.
I can tell you about lofty goals,
But I cannot acheve them for you.
I can teach you to obey,
But I cannot answer for your actions.
I can warn you about sins,
But I cannot make your morals.
I can love you as my child,
But I cannot place you in God's family.
I can teach you about Jesus,
But I cannot make Him your Saviour.
I can teach you about prayer,
But I cannot make you pray.
I can tell you how to live,
But I cannot give you eternal life.
-Author Unknown
Proverbs 23:19 "Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way."
How true! Dear child,
How I pray you will allow Him to work in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure and to stand perfect and complete in all His will.
Love,
Your mom
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
My God shall supply ALL your needs...
Our family is working very hard at eating healthier this year. So I've been counting WW points for all of us, cooking with lowered fat and higher fiber, and we're working at playing games that make us move instead of think! :) (We have a new ping pong table so that helps.)
Yesterday my husband went to a local store that is comparable to a Big Lots but it's groceries. It is the United Grocery Outlet and we all call it UGO.
After my husband left I realized that I hadn't asked him to check for lowfat breakfast meat at UGO. I have a system that works better than any cell phone call in the world for this. I pray and ask the Lord to prompt my husband to check for the item I've forgotten. This saves a world of irritation on my husband's part for my forgetfulness.
It is one of the most wonderful things the Lord has taught me when it comes to authority. You give the issue to the Lord, ("Thy will be done-not mine.") Then you ask the Lord to prompt your authority if it is truly something that needs attention, and you proceed to trust Him to answer. If the authority doesn't mention it or think of it you know it wasn't important or isn't important yet. (Rest assured I don't ever do this on my own, the Holy Spirit has to nudge me.)
Well, let me go back to the original story. After I prayed I remembered that when the older children were little I would tell them about what I had prayed so they could see the Lord answer. So I stuck my head into the dining room where they were all doing school and told them I'd forgotten to ask their dad to look for healthy breakfast meat and that I had prayed and asked the Lord that their dad would think to look for it.
If you understand a store like UGO you realize that one week they might have Cheesecake Factory Cheesecakes for $3.99 and then you might not see them again or it might be six months before you see them again. If it's a good deal you'd better grab it then!
When my husband popped in the door he started pulling out the items and there was breakfast meat that he'd found a good deal on! He got these sausage links (lowered fat) for 69 cents a box! Needless to say, we've got breakfast covered for a while with low fat sausage links! But the most wonderful part for me was the children seeing that God cares about their diet, and he cares about answering prayers for relatively small things, and that prayer is a vital way to handle relationships.
This all took me back down memory lane on why we have this wonderful grocery (which lowers our grocery bill significantly each week) in our neighborhood! I tell everyone that mentions UGO that God put it in our town as an answer to a prayer I prayed way back in the early 80's.
Back then we were living on a tight, tight budget (If I remember right it was about $125/week and we had four children.) and we literally had to pray in our money for food and shelter and clothing. One day I was listening to Christian radion and I heard them giving statistics on how much food was wasted in America. It was mind-boggling! I simply couldn't believe the amount of food that groceries and restaurants throw away that is edible. I stood right there in my living room and told the Lord that if He would bring it to us we would eat it.
The next few weeks were incredible! My 80-year old neighbor called me and said that someone had told her that the produce man at Marsh grocery would let you buy strawberries with crushed tips, bruised peaches, etc. for a little of nothing. We had to drive over to the store and meet him to get them. We got all kinds of fruit for around $3.00. I'd have to dig my journals out for the exact count but I remember having fresh pies made from the nectarines (I froze some of them) and lots of strawberries and other vegetables to eat.
Then my other elderly neighbor lady got to leaving me little dibs and dabs of vegetables from her garden on my picnic table. It wasn't enough for a meal but each time she'd leave them I'd blanch them and freeze them. I ended up making 26 quarts of vegetable soup from her little love offerings. The other funny part of it was that we ended up using almost all of them at one time when we had a houseful of people come over during a missions conference!
After that a man in our church worked in a meat department told me he'd be glad to bring us the lunch meats that were scheduled for being thrown out because they were outdated. I jumped at the chance and when he'd bring them I'd put them in the freezer. The children's lunches improved overnight.
Then a man who ran a potato chip route asked if we could use their throwaways. Of course we could! I had boxes of chips, cookies and other goodies stacked to THE CEILING in my utility room and ended up sharing with other families who were running a tight ship financially in our church. By that time I was a very excited woman!
Then a lady called me that went to our church and said their freezer had died and she was going to throw everything in it away. Would I want to get some of it to cook up and freeze or can? I made the trip to her house to see what I could salvage. I ended up with fish, meat and lots and lots of other things. I canned most of it and there was a lot to can.
I went to the local day-old-bread outlet and asked what they did with their throwaways. They offered to sell me all I wanted for $4.00. My back seat and trunk were full! I emptied it out in the back yard and had two or three of the other ladies from church come over. We took all of it that had cuts in the bags and laid that in the pile for the chickens. All the rest we divided between ourselves. My freezer was packed when I got done and it not only fed our family but others. We did this on a regular basis till the day we moved from Indiana to Tennessee.
God has been faithful since the day I prayed that prayer to answer it wherever we have lived. Once I heard of a man that was going to till his garden under because he was tired of it. The corn alone was a pickup truck's worth. My husband stopped by a field of green beans they were plowing under (because they had gone a few days over the picking time) and they let us have as many as we wanted. He had to simply uproot the plants and bring plants and all home to stay ahead of the plows! Our carport was literally covered with green beans as tall as my children's waists and we spent several days as a family "fellowshipping" around piles of beans! ) Do you remember this kids?
I have stopped by truck patches and offered to pick beans if I could simply have one bushel of beans for each bushel I picked for them. It was a deal. My little ones sat in the van and watched as I picked two bushels of beans. One for them and one for us.
Once at a youth activity the kitchen staff offered us the leftover sloppy joe mix. Little did they know that it fed us for one week. I became very creative at changing sloppy joe into a variety of meals. All these are true stories and I'm just telling some of them!
When we moved where we live now we were delighted when the UGO store opened. I jokingly said the Lord brought it to town for me! A lot of times it is very high quality (albeit sometimes unusual!) food but it has fed us some wonderful, near-gourmet meals!
When I went on Weight Watchers we were thrilled with the Healthy Choice lunch meat we got every week for anywhere from 33 cents per package to $1.00 per package. In the store the same meat was about $3.00. They also had light cottage cheese, regular cheese, and many other items that were needed on Weight Watchers for a fraction of the cost.
Then in 2007 I had my bout with Clostridium Difficile and because of the damage I could no longer eat the lunch meat and some of the other high fiber foods we had consistently had found at UGO. My husband came home one day from his weekly UGO trip and said, "You know Tami, I think God did put UGO there for you. Since you'd been unable to eat the Healthy Choice lunch meats they've not had them a single time." God does love humor doesn't He? He also loves to show us His love and care.
"Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. It not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" ( Matt. 6:25,26)
I'm afraid when I hear young women complaining and whining about how terrible things are and they even begin to express anger at their husbands for not providing (or they start talking about how they're going to have to go get a job and leave their home and children) I find myself thinking of the verse "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (I Tim. 6:8)
It doesn't even mention a house!
Most of the ones I hear moaning the loudest have high speed internet, two vehicles, cable or satellite tv, cell phones for hubby, themselves and sometimes the kids, they spend enormous amonts on groceries and eat out on a regular basis. I could slash their budgets by $200 per month with just a few adjustments. We don't have a right to complain until our houses contain only what is required to survive and we're without clothing or food for the day. (Remember, we are to pray for "daily bread".
He promises to dress us as beautifully as He dresses the lilies of the field and take better care of our feed than the fowls of the air.
May I recommend that you give Him each and every area of your life? Long ago I gave Him my wardrobe and I've had such beautiful clothing since then. It's been with very little effort on my part on top of that! I have given Him my possessions, my home, my food and my time. He's such a wonderful Keeper for us.
Learn to accept the budget the Lord has put you on and make the best of it. Learn to let Him provide your needs and be willing to roll up your sleeves and use some elbow grease when you see an opportunity. Learn to live within your means instead of sacrificing what really matters to the gods of materialism and carnality. Learn to find joy in all the wonderful free things the Lord has for us. Learn to be creative and use what you have! Ask the Lord today to give you His value system and give you joy in what He provides! Take what He provides and use it to serve Him. It's a wonderful, wonderful life!
Yesterday my husband went to a local store that is comparable to a Big Lots but it's groceries. It is the United Grocery Outlet and we all call it UGO.
After my husband left I realized that I hadn't asked him to check for lowfat breakfast meat at UGO. I have a system that works better than any cell phone call in the world for this. I pray and ask the Lord to prompt my husband to check for the item I've forgotten. This saves a world of irritation on my husband's part for my forgetfulness.
It is one of the most wonderful things the Lord has taught me when it comes to authority. You give the issue to the Lord, ("Thy will be done-not mine.") Then you ask the Lord to prompt your authority if it is truly something that needs attention, and you proceed to trust Him to answer. If the authority doesn't mention it or think of it you know it wasn't important or isn't important yet. (Rest assured I don't ever do this on my own, the Holy Spirit has to nudge me.)
Well, let me go back to the original story. After I prayed I remembered that when the older children were little I would tell them about what I had prayed so they could see the Lord answer. So I stuck my head into the dining room where they were all doing school and told them I'd forgotten to ask their dad to look for healthy breakfast meat and that I had prayed and asked the Lord that their dad would think to look for it.
If you understand a store like UGO you realize that one week they might have Cheesecake Factory Cheesecakes for $3.99 and then you might not see them again or it might be six months before you see them again. If it's a good deal you'd better grab it then!
When my husband popped in the door he started pulling out the items and there was breakfast meat that he'd found a good deal on! He got these sausage links (lowered fat) for 69 cents a box! Needless to say, we've got breakfast covered for a while with low fat sausage links! But the most wonderful part for me was the children seeing that God cares about their diet, and he cares about answering prayers for relatively small things, and that prayer is a vital way to handle relationships.
This all took me back down memory lane on why we have this wonderful grocery (which lowers our grocery bill significantly each week) in our neighborhood! I tell everyone that mentions UGO that God put it in our town as an answer to a prayer I prayed way back in the early 80's.
Back then we were living on a tight, tight budget (If I remember right it was about $125/week and we had four children.) and we literally had to pray in our money for food and shelter and clothing. One day I was listening to Christian radion and I heard them giving statistics on how much food was wasted in America. It was mind-boggling! I simply couldn't believe the amount of food that groceries and restaurants throw away that is edible. I stood right there in my living room and told the Lord that if He would bring it to us we would eat it.
The next few weeks were incredible! My 80-year old neighbor called me and said that someone had told her that the produce man at Marsh grocery would let you buy strawberries with crushed tips, bruised peaches, etc. for a little of nothing. We had to drive over to the store and meet him to get them. We got all kinds of fruit for around $3.00. I'd have to dig my journals out for the exact count but I remember having fresh pies made from the nectarines (I froze some of them) and lots of strawberries and other vegetables to eat.
Then my other elderly neighbor lady got to leaving me little dibs and dabs of vegetables from her garden on my picnic table. It wasn't enough for a meal but each time she'd leave them I'd blanch them and freeze them. I ended up making 26 quarts of vegetable soup from her little love offerings. The other funny part of it was that we ended up using almost all of them at one time when we had a houseful of people come over during a missions conference!
After that a man in our church worked in a meat department told me he'd be glad to bring us the lunch meats that were scheduled for being thrown out because they were outdated. I jumped at the chance and when he'd bring them I'd put them in the freezer. The children's lunches improved overnight.
Then a man who ran a potato chip route asked if we could use their throwaways. Of course we could! I had boxes of chips, cookies and other goodies stacked to THE CEILING in my utility room and ended up sharing with other families who were running a tight ship financially in our church. By that time I was a very excited woman!
Then a lady called me that went to our church and said their freezer had died and she was going to throw everything in it away. Would I want to get some of it to cook up and freeze or can? I made the trip to her house to see what I could salvage. I ended up with fish, meat and lots and lots of other things. I canned most of it and there was a lot to can.
I went to the local day-old-bread outlet and asked what they did with their throwaways. They offered to sell me all I wanted for $4.00. My back seat and trunk were full! I emptied it out in the back yard and had two or three of the other ladies from church come over. We took all of it that had cuts in the bags and laid that in the pile for the chickens. All the rest we divided between ourselves. My freezer was packed when I got done and it not only fed our family but others. We did this on a regular basis till the day we moved from Indiana to Tennessee.
God has been faithful since the day I prayed that prayer to answer it wherever we have lived. Once I heard of a man that was going to till his garden under because he was tired of it. The corn alone was a pickup truck's worth. My husband stopped by a field of green beans they were plowing under (because they had gone a few days over the picking time) and they let us have as many as we wanted. He had to simply uproot the plants and bring plants and all home to stay ahead of the plows! Our carport was literally covered with green beans as tall as my children's waists and we spent several days as a family "fellowshipping" around piles of beans! ) Do you remember this kids?
I have stopped by truck patches and offered to pick beans if I could simply have one bushel of beans for each bushel I picked for them. It was a deal. My little ones sat in the van and watched as I picked two bushels of beans. One for them and one for us.
Once at a youth activity the kitchen staff offered us the leftover sloppy joe mix. Little did they know that it fed us for one week. I became very creative at changing sloppy joe into a variety of meals. All these are true stories and I'm just telling some of them!
When we moved where we live now we were delighted when the UGO store opened. I jokingly said the Lord brought it to town for me! A lot of times it is very high quality (albeit sometimes unusual!) food but it has fed us some wonderful, near-gourmet meals!
When I went on Weight Watchers we were thrilled with the Healthy Choice lunch meat we got every week for anywhere from 33 cents per package to $1.00 per package. In the store the same meat was about $3.00. They also had light cottage cheese, regular cheese, and many other items that were needed on Weight Watchers for a fraction of the cost.
Then in 2007 I had my bout with Clostridium Difficile and because of the damage I could no longer eat the lunch meat and some of the other high fiber foods we had consistently had found at UGO. My husband came home one day from his weekly UGO trip and said, "You know Tami, I think God did put UGO there for you. Since you'd been unable to eat the Healthy Choice lunch meats they've not had them a single time." God does love humor doesn't He? He also loves to show us His love and care.
"Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. It not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" ( Matt. 6:25,26)
I'm afraid when I hear young women complaining and whining about how terrible things are and they even begin to express anger at their husbands for not providing (or they start talking about how they're going to have to go get a job and leave their home and children) I find myself thinking of the verse "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (I Tim. 6:8)
It doesn't even mention a house!
Most of the ones I hear moaning the loudest have high speed internet, two vehicles, cable or satellite tv, cell phones for hubby, themselves and sometimes the kids, they spend enormous amonts on groceries and eat out on a regular basis. I could slash their budgets by $200 per month with just a few adjustments. We don't have a right to complain until our houses contain only what is required to survive and we're without clothing or food for the day. (Remember, we are to pray for "daily bread".
He promises to dress us as beautifully as He dresses the lilies of the field and take better care of our feed than the fowls of the air.
May I recommend that you give Him each and every area of your life? Long ago I gave Him my wardrobe and I've had such beautiful clothing since then. It's been with very little effort on my part on top of that! I have given Him my possessions, my home, my food and my time. He's such a wonderful Keeper for us.
Learn to accept the budget the Lord has put you on and make the best of it. Learn to let Him provide your needs and be willing to roll up your sleeves and use some elbow grease when you see an opportunity. Learn to live within your means instead of sacrificing what really matters to the gods of materialism and carnality. Learn to find joy in all the wonderful free things the Lord has for us. Learn to be creative and use what you have! Ask the Lord today to give you His value system and give you joy in what He provides! Take what He provides and use it to serve Him. It's a wonderful, wonderful life!
Monday, January 4, 2010
January is here...and so are resolutions....
Dear Daughters,
I'm sitting here with my new prayer journal open and comparing it to last year's. Going through my new prayer journal always gives me a a look back. That in turn makes me want to further my obedience and spiritual victory for the new year.
The first week of January I keep pencil and pen close at hand so I can write down projects, goals, etc. for my new year. The Lord's mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:23) and for that I am so very thankful. I am also thankful for the new year. It's like having a clean slate handed to you from the Lord to use as a springboard to "start anew".
The BIGGEST (and really only) lesson I learned from my depression, wilderness years was that all the good that I do can only be performed with joy and energy when the Lord does it for me and in me. I have realized that most of what I was doing in obedience to the Lord (for many, many years) was being done in the power of my flesh. The flesh cannot do it and either rebels or becomes so exhausted it lays down on us. That's what happened to me and when I broke I did a bang-up job of it!
I never really realized how powerful my flesh was until the depression hit and I couldn't stop the fear, worry, unbelief, and emotional pain no matter how I tried. I also never realized how completely Calvary set me free from my every sin till I learned to turn to Him in the midst of my battle and confess to Him my guilt, my complete turning from those sins to Him and His resurrection power and then resting in Him to fulfill the work of Calvary in my life by His work.
Now I have had my BIG battles. I still have my BIG battles. My flesh likes things its own way and when it's got its own way for a long time it doesn't lie down easily. I just recently had a two week battle with the flesh over an issue. However, when I faithfully turned to Him and told Him I wanted no part of that wicked sin and I was relying on Him to give me the victory and freedom that were mine He was right there to meet my need. For about two weeks I had to come to Him over and over when the temptation would hit, but He won the victory for me with Calvary and the flesh lost.
Now that was what seemed to be a diversion from the main topic, but it's really the foundation for resolutions that work. YOU CAN"T keep resolutions in the power of the flesh! In January when every one is in the mood for a "new me" you're surrounded with the support of friends, media hype, and your own brand new gust of energy. However, after just a few days of the flesh rising up and telling you it's always had it's way in that area and does not intend to lie down and do right without a fight you'll be glad I wrote those last few paragraphs! :)
Since my depression I try to stop about twice a year (New Year's and my birthday) and make what I call my "guilt list". These are things that drive me crazy about myself. You could call them my besetting sins, my hard-to-break bad habits, or whatever you want to call them.
After I've made my original list, (and that list includes health habits, use of time, irritations, people problems and how I deal with them, etc.) I mark the ones that I have the power to change. You know there are some problems that we have no authority to change and there are things that are totally out of our control to change. If I cannot change it I must simply give it to the Lord. I use Colossians 4:12 in those situations and pray that all involved will allow the Lord to do a work in their hearts (me included) to stand "perfect and complete in all His will" in the situation.
Then I go through and ask myself on each of them if I have a Biblical reason to feel guilty. Satan loves to accuse the brethren and he will try to make you feel responsible and guilty for everything he can. Make sure you have a specific verse that counts you guilty. If that is true go to the Lord with it, confess it, ask Him to show you His solution and then begin to carry out the plan.
With what I have left that I am responsible personally for and I have a Biblical reason that I need to change then its time to obey.
Let's take our prayer life for example. If my prayer is half-hearted, sounds like a child repeating the alphabet, ("Lord bless mom, dad, sister, brother, all the missionaries, etc., etc., etc.) there's plenty of Bible to let you know things need to change!
Memorize those verses that tell us to pray and pray seriously. Get a good book on prayer and start reading it. Get your spiritual engine fueled up. May I recommend reading Prayer, the Greatest Force on Earth by Thomas Payne as one of the first ones to read. Take your Bible and as you're reading through it start marking the prayers in the Bible with a special color of pencil. Take note of the men God loved and made comments on their prayers. Take note of the mighty works of God that happened as a result of prayer. But most of all, begin praying. Just like any thing else that you want to become an expert in the way to do it is to practice it!
Now let me assure you your flesh will not want to pray. But the Lord has taken care of all that and you are free, free, free from the flesh being in control because of the finished work of Calvary. You don't need to try, strain or endure. You simply need to obey the written word and the Spirit's little loving urgings by His power poured out to you from the mercy seat.
Another thing I strongly recommend you do with all your new resolutions, goals, ideas, etc. is to get them on paper and then lay them out before the Lord and ask Him to take them all and show you which ones are your ideas and which ones are His ideas.
I'm an idea person. For every suggestion I have hundreds of wonderful little ideas pop into my head. I know where the book, article, or online page is to feed my ideas. However, I've wasted a lot of precious time by not thinking through a project I started. In carrying out many of my projects I got my priorities out of order and I neglected God-given responsibilities to do a Tami-project.
You can only spread yourself so thin becoming the "new you". Look very carefully at your goals and make sure they're going to make you spiritually stronger, that you'll be ministering within your God-given realm (our ministry heart is our home) and that as a result of carrying out your goals you'll be a better child of God, wife, mother, homekeeper, and church member.
If getting yourself in shape means you'll be leaving the children to go to a gym 5 days a week you might want to consider rethinking the thing. You can get yourself in shape with two milk jugs with water in them for weights and toddlers laughing as they try to do workouts with mom.
However, the checking account, the babies, and the Lord will all be in better shape if you do it His way--keeping at home! (Titus 2)
If you've set a goal to help your husband with the tight finances but you choose to neglect that he is worse than an infidel if he doesn't provide for his family, that you are to be a keeper at home (with a full list of duties that will keep a saint working from daylight till dusk) and that your children's Godly training is you and your husband's responsibility not the local church's or the government's, than you've not only made matters worse but you also will have to do the entire thing in the power of your flesh because the Holy Spirit will not minister Christ to you for that new job you took to help with finances!
It would be far better to take a hard look at what the Bible gives a woman to do and learn to be a thrifty wife and mother. You also need to ask the Lord to give you His value system and not the world's! The Lord is totally unimpressed with rather you have the newest cell phone, the right brand of purse, or the "world-approved" year and make of car! My husband often says that we don't need more money we need to learn to make sure we've learned to live within the budget the Lord has given us.
All of the above are just some motherly cautions. Some of them I've learned as I searched the scriptures and applied them to my life and some I've learned by trying it my way over and over until I finally figured out that somewhere I wasn't listening to Him and His word. It's much better to hear the truth and apply it before the sin has left a scar in our life or the lives of those we love.
As an older woman I see so many young women with good desires and goals but they try to carry them out the way the world does. It is in all of us to try to find an escape to our sins and the curses that accompany them--but there is truly only one cure---Calvary!
I pray that each of your resolutions that the Holy Spirit has put in your heart come to be a truth applied in your life this year.
Love,
Mom
I'm sitting here with my new prayer journal open and comparing it to last year's. Going through my new prayer journal always gives me a a look back. That in turn makes me want to further my obedience and spiritual victory for the new year.
The first week of January I keep pencil and pen close at hand so I can write down projects, goals, etc. for my new year. The Lord's mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:23) and for that I am so very thankful. I am also thankful for the new year. It's like having a clean slate handed to you from the Lord to use as a springboard to "start anew".
The BIGGEST (and really only) lesson I learned from my depression, wilderness years was that all the good that I do can only be performed with joy and energy when the Lord does it for me and in me. I have realized that most of what I was doing in obedience to the Lord (for many, many years) was being done in the power of my flesh. The flesh cannot do it and either rebels or becomes so exhausted it lays down on us. That's what happened to me and when I broke I did a bang-up job of it!
I never really realized how powerful my flesh was until the depression hit and I couldn't stop the fear, worry, unbelief, and emotional pain no matter how I tried. I also never realized how completely Calvary set me free from my every sin till I learned to turn to Him in the midst of my battle and confess to Him my guilt, my complete turning from those sins to Him and His resurrection power and then resting in Him to fulfill the work of Calvary in my life by His work.
Now I have had my BIG battles. I still have my BIG battles. My flesh likes things its own way and when it's got its own way for a long time it doesn't lie down easily. I just recently had a two week battle with the flesh over an issue. However, when I faithfully turned to Him and told Him I wanted no part of that wicked sin and I was relying on Him to give me the victory and freedom that were mine He was right there to meet my need. For about two weeks I had to come to Him over and over when the temptation would hit, but He won the victory for me with Calvary and the flesh lost.
Now that was what seemed to be a diversion from the main topic, but it's really the foundation for resolutions that work. YOU CAN"T keep resolutions in the power of the flesh! In January when every one is in the mood for a "new me" you're surrounded with the support of friends, media hype, and your own brand new gust of energy. However, after just a few days of the flesh rising up and telling you it's always had it's way in that area and does not intend to lie down and do right without a fight you'll be glad I wrote those last few paragraphs! :)
Since my depression I try to stop about twice a year (New Year's and my birthday) and make what I call my "guilt list". These are things that drive me crazy about myself. You could call them my besetting sins, my hard-to-break bad habits, or whatever you want to call them.
After I've made my original list, (and that list includes health habits, use of time, irritations, people problems and how I deal with them, etc.) I mark the ones that I have the power to change. You know there are some problems that we have no authority to change and there are things that are totally out of our control to change. If I cannot change it I must simply give it to the Lord. I use Colossians 4:12 in those situations and pray that all involved will allow the Lord to do a work in their hearts (me included) to stand "perfect and complete in all His will" in the situation.
Then I go through and ask myself on each of them if I have a Biblical reason to feel guilty. Satan loves to accuse the brethren and he will try to make you feel responsible and guilty for everything he can. Make sure you have a specific verse that counts you guilty. If that is true go to the Lord with it, confess it, ask Him to show you His solution and then begin to carry out the plan.
With what I have left that I am responsible personally for and I have a Biblical reason that I need to change then its time to obey.
Let's take our prayer life for example. If my prayer is half-hearted, sounds like a child repeating the alphabet, ("Lord bless mom, dad, sister, brother, all the missionaries, etc., etc., etc.) there's plenty of Bible to let you know things need to change!
Memorize those verses that tell us to pray and pray seriously. Get a good book on prayer and start reading it. Get your spiritual engine fueled up. May I recommend reading Prayer, the Greatest Force on Earth by Thomas Payne as one of the first ones to read. Take your Bible and as you're reading through it start marking the prayers in the Bible with a special color of pencil. Take note of the men God loved and made comments on their prayers. Take note of the mighty works of God that happened as a result of prayer. But most of all, begin praying. Just like any thing else that you want to become an expert in the way to do it is to practice it!
Now let me assure you your flesh will not want to pray. But the Lord has taken care of all that and you are free, free, free from the flesh being in control because of the finished work of Calvary. You don't need to try, strain or endure. You simply need to obey the written word and the Spirit's little loving urgings by His power poured out to you from the mercy seat.
Another thing I strongly recommend you do with all your new resolutions, goals, ideas, etc. is to get them on paper and then lay them out before the Lord and ask Him to take them all and show you which ones are your ideas and which ones are His ideas.
I'm an idea person. For every suggestion I have hundreds of wonderful little ideas pop into my head. I know where the book, article, or online page is to feed my ideas. However, I've wasted a lot of precious time by not thinking through a project I started. In carrying out many of my projects I got my priorities out of order and I neglected God-given responsibilities to do a Tami-project.
You can only spread yourself so thin becoming the "new you". Look very carefully at your goals and make sure they're going to make you spiritually stronger, that you'll be ministering within your God-given realm (our ministry heart is our home) and that as a result of carrying out your goals you'll be a better child of God, wife, mother, homekeeper, and church member.
If getting yourself in shape means you'll be leaving the children to go to a gym 5 days a week you might want to consider rethinking the thing. You can get yourself in shape with two milk jugs with water in them for weights and toddlers laughing as they try to do workouts with mom.
However, the checking account, the babies, and the Lord will all be in better shape if you do it His way--keeping at home! (Titus 2)
If you've set a goal to help your husband with the tight finances but you choose to neglect that he is worse than an infidel if he doesn't provide for his family, that you are to be a keeper at home (with a full list of duties that will keep a saint working from daylight till dusk) and that your children's Godly training is you and your husband's responsibility not the local church's or the government's, than you've not only made matters worse but you also will have to do the entire thing in the power of your flesh because the Holy Spirit will not minister Christ to you for that new job you took to help with finances!
It would be far better to take a hard look at what the Bible gives a woman to do and learn to be a thrifty wife and mother. You also need to ask the Lord to give you His value system and not the world's! The Lord is totally unimpressed with rather you have the newest cell phone, the right brand of purse, or the "world-approved" year and make of car! My husband often says that we don't need more money we need to learn to make sure we've learned to live within the budget the Lord has given us.
All of the above are just some motherly cautions. Some of them I've learned as I searched the scriptures and applied them to my life and some I've learned by trying it my way over and over until I finally figured out that somewhere I wasn't listening to Him and His word. It's much better to hear the truth and apply it before the sin has left a scar in our life or the lives of those we love.
As an older woman I see so many young women with good desires and goals but they try to carry them out the way the world does. It is in all of us to try to find an escape to our sins and the curses that accompany them--but there is truly only one cure---Calvary!
I pray that each of your resolutions that the Holy Spirit has put in your heart come to be a truth applied in your life this year.
Love,
Mom
Sunday, December 13, 2009
It's the most wonderful time of the year....
Tomorrow we're going to shop the day away as a family. We'll end up eating hot Krispy Creme donuts at the end of the day (I'll inhale!) and head home happy and exhausted. This brings back memories of Christmas' past when we've done the same thing.
Two years ago our entire family got together and stayed in a cabin in Pigeon Forge to celebrate Christmas together. At the end of the day all the kids, Grandpa Charles, Esther, Alicia, Nathan and I (with Grandpa Gary at the wheel) all crammed into the church van (and I mean literally!) and headed off to get Krispy Cremes to take back to the cabin.
We were singing, taking in the array of lights and having a wonderful time. When we got to the window of the Krispy Creme the girl at the window wanted to know how many people we had in the van. Gary told her and she handed us each one a Krispy Creme hat to wear! Well, that made the kids happy! Grandpa Charles held the warm Krispy Cremes and we all put our hats on while we made a tour of the 12 days of Christmas down the strip and then headed back to the cabin where the little girls played waitresses in their hats and handed out the melt-in-your-mouth donuts. You just can't have Christmas here at the Neals without one trip to the Krispy Creme on a Christmas outing. When I asked Asher the other day what food he associated with Christmas shopping his answer was, "Warm Krispy Cremes at the end of the day."
Some of our family traditions began from making the best of a rough time. When the older four were very little we had very financially "tight" Christmases. One year while my husband was at work the kids and I put the tree up and the children wanted to have a party around the tree after we were finished. I had little to no food in the house and was racking my brain what to do.
I told the kids we'd have a birthday party for Jesus around the tree. I made a chocolate cake and then realized I didn't have any milk! So I found a jar of Tang someone had given us and heated the Tang. Now I don't know about you but chocolate cake and hot orange drink doesn't sound to good to me but the kids thought it was fantastic!
We turned all the lights off and I gathered the children around at my feet while I sit on the bottom steps of our stairway and I read them the Christmas story while they ate birthday cake and drank hot Tang.
Every year the kids would want to do the same thing. We had to have chocolate cake and hot Tang. People would say, "Chocolate cake and hot tang?????"
"Yup, it's a tradition!"
Our pocket calendar was another attempt on my part to bring sparkle to a very tight budget. I made the first one out of little scraps of fabric I had and hung it on the wall. Back then it was mostly coupons and little promises from mom.
"Good for one hour of playing whatever you want with mom." I ended up playing with GI Joes, Johnny West, and Tammy and Cyndy dolls many an hour over that one! When I would announce my hour was up they would always beg me to keep on playing saying, "But we just got started!"
My grandmother had one of those little elf dolls (looked like Snap, Crackle and Pop) sitting in her china cupboard and somehow when she died he ended up at our house. He would preside over the pocket calendar and sign the coupons. He was named Ralph. Ralph still visits via the pocket calendar each December. Ralph puts new batteries in toys that have been forgotten, makes sure a new person or prop joins our nativity set each year, hides money in the tree branches and leaves the children coupons to this day. (He just left one promising each of our children the meal of their choice during January or February.) 
When Alicia was little she was positively sure she saw Ralph meandering through the branches of the Christmas tree! She also thought she felt him pinch her when she reached in my pocket! :)
I look back at the late hours I put in sewing Christmas gifts from scraps of fabric, sewing Barbie doll clothes and selling them so I could buy my children the toy (notice the singular word toy?) they wanted, dropped my pride and bartered with the lady at Party House to buy a display model of a doll that Niki had set her heart on, (Niki, I had to go home and give that doll and its clothes a good washing it had been handled so much!) went to auctions and bought items and then came home and revamped them, (Niki's first sewing machine, the boys beloved barn, and the Walton's cardboard home that was played with till it fell apart!) and scouring library books for ideas that I could convert to our budget.
Over the years these very things that came out of necessity have turned into the most wonderful traditions and memories that the Neal family has. Once the Lord taught me to always try to make the most of the hard situations it was a Christmas gift for me in disguise.
I think of how some of the most wonderful memories we have are from the Lord stepping in and giving us a Christmas miracle.
When my husband was between churches we were living in Knoxville and we were living by faith, my husband's income and our older children's income pooled together. When Christmas came we had $3.00 per child to spend on Christmas.
The Lord had been faithfully providing for us so I wasn't paniced, just wondering what we were going to do! I had gone to the Goodwill and found a little fire truck for Asher that had a siren on it and Brian's aunt had sent me a large metal semi truck to give him that had the buttons with the sound on it so he was taken care of. I had gone to a thrift shop and bought each of my girls a skirt. I had made them each a piece of clothing to match their skirt. I had nothing for Nate or Nevin but was looking!
Gary was working long hours as a manager at a Save A Lot grocery so I was having to do my hunting for something for the boys after dropping the girls off at Crown College.
Just two days before Christmas our friend Mike Shockley showed up and handed us money that someone had given him to give to us. He said that person had stipulated it was to be spent on getting Christmas gifts for our kids. It gave me $25 to spend on each child!
Boy was I excited! So we piled all the kids (plus one of Nevin's friends) into the van and headed out to shop!
At about 10 p.m. everyone was starved so we decided to stop at a Hardee's. We pooled our money to eat and didn't have very much. When we got into the Hardee's the manager came up to us and said they were getting ready to clean out the fried chicken and they offered us all they had left (it was a bunch) for $3.00. You talk about rejoicing in the Lord's goodness! I was so excited. It was like the Lord just topped off a day of blessings with one more.
Most of all, I was thrilled that my children were seeing that the Lord doesn't fail us when we walk in obedience and faith. Even over things we don't need but just desire.
Now that I have grandchildren I get the privilege of gathering them around me. That makes the wonder of the season twice the delight!
I love sewing for them. In my scrapbook I have a picture of a superhero that Caleb drew me. I was talking to Alicia's children and Audrey told me that she wanted a fancy dress that she could wear to play in, (I guess her mom wasn't too fond of her playing in her fancy church dresses1:) Isaiah told me he wanted a military uniform, and then Caleb told me he wanted a Sylvester man costume. I asked him what he looked like and he described him.
He said, "You know, he has green in the body, and an S on his chest, red at the bottom of his legs..."
I said, "Caleb, I don't think I've seen him before. Could I look him up on the internet and get a picture of him?"
He said, "No grandma, I made him up!"
I said, "Then you'll need to draw me a picture so I know what I'm doing."
He said, "Ok, I'll do that right now." And the phone went dead!
Three days later I got the picture. He wrote on it. "Call me when you get this."
When I went to get the fabric I told the lady cutting it. "You're in on something big here."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yes, my grandson and I are creating a new superhero named Sylvester-man and you're a part of it now."
That tickled her!
I wouldn't trade watching the American Girl movies with my granddaughters or the Christmas we made a play and acted it out for the family after we'd watched one together.Thank you Mariah, Savannah, Briley and Cierra for letting me be a part of your acting careers!
I wouldn't trade watching "The Nutcracker" or "Polar Express" with my at-home children and my grandchildren. I wouldn't trade reading Christmas stories to them or late nights of laying on pallets on the floor and talking to them while the tree lights flicker.
Christmastime is a wonderful way to culminate the year. It's like throwing icing on a cake!
This year I've thought much of the mood that comes into our home this time of year. The house is twinkling with lights, a tiny village, Bethlehem sits quietly in our living room waiting for the birth of the Savior, the breakfast bar has a new treat on it each day for the family, special blends of coffee are perked, new flavors of cocoa show up in the beverage basket, sweet music plays on the computer or the cd player in the kitchen, and the house smells of chocolate, cinnamon, warm breads or cookies. You can sense anticipation, excitement, and a sense of celebration. There truly is a spirit that comes with Christmas.
And all this is as a result of the Savior's birth! We are able to enjoy life, our family, to have a sweet spirit in our home because He has entered our lives. It all began with Him being willing to bring Himself to earth as a little baby. I never want my children and my children's children to forget this part of it all. That every good and perfect gift that we have in our lives is because of Him, Him, Him.....and that blessings are worthless if we don't know the Blesser Himself.
Merry Christmas to you all. I trust that this Christmas you do know Him and that He has the proper place in your heart and life. If not--I assure you He is ready and waiting to know you and to take His place in your heart and life!
With much love,
Mom
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